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David Aronchick

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No Joke, the Zombie Apocalypse Is Coming!

Posted: 12/04/2012 7:10 pm

"Every single person that you, or I has ever known, is dead!" - Will Smith's character, Dr. Robert Neville from I am Legend


Zombies are cool? Zombies are sexy? Zombie movies, like Night of the Living Dead, I am Legend, and 28 Days Later have always been popular, but the rise of The Walking Dead television series seems to have brought zombie culture much closer to home than ever before. Instead of a population of nerds like me watching late night zombie flicks on the Sci-Fi channel, now large swaths of the population are soaking it up.

There's even a new, 2013 zombie-girls-in-bikinis video calendar stealing headlines, released by a New Zealand-based advertising agency in an effort to promote The Walking Dead in foreign markets! The calendar is compelling, for sure, but truth be told the zombies in the calendar hardly resemble the zombies in The Walking Dead. The last thing I want to see is a Walker in a bikini, sprawled on a pristine beach.

Surely our leaders in government and medicine can talk some sense into our zombie-obsessed society? Maybe present some statistics about the reality of a zombie apocalypse? If only that were the case! Just last year, the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) issued zombie propaganda, with its Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse campaign, complete with Zombie Task Force t-shirts available for those who joined the task force.

Even our military has jumped on the zombie bandwagon! According to the Christian Science Monitor the U.S. Marines and Navy special-operations forces took part in a zombie apocalypse preparedness drill on Halloween off the coast of San Diego. The organizer of the drill, Brad Barker, CEO of the Halo Corp., security company said in an interview with the Associated Press that, "This is a very real exercise. This is not some type of big costume party."

Really? How tongue-in-cheek was that sound bite? Is the government, CDC and military simply employing consumer public relations tactics (which would represent serious evolution from standard operation procedure)? Or is there a real possibility of a zombie apocalypse? Could a virus really turn healthy people into stumbling, moaning, brain dead zombies in search of blood?

Two recent cases from real life have only added fuel to the fire: the infamous cannibalization of a live subject in Miami by Rudy Eugene, who was shot down by police when he wouldn't stop eating a live homeless man's face. He became known in the media as the 'Miami Zombie' mainly because of the attack, but also because the cop's first bullet didn't stop Eugene from chowing down on his victim's face. It actually took four bullets to put him down.

And then there is Baltimore college student Alex Kinyua, who used a knife to kill a man, slice him up and eat pieces of his victim's heart and brain. When pictures emerged of the Morgan State University student's face covered in camouflage face paint, zombie-aficionados jumped into the fray, calling it another zombie attack and a sure sign of the coming apocalypse. Fortunately, Newsweek and the Daily Beast did us all a big favor and put together a Google map that tracks news instances of similar attacks and zombie behavior.

As our military and medical community prepare for, and provide tactics for surviving the coming zombie apocalypse, we are encouraged to put together survival kits for our families, and make plans for safe travel and safe living zones. Not to mention, the need to know how to shoot a gun, preferably a shotgun! According to Dave Workman, of the Second Amendment Foundation, the zombie fad is now helping push gun sales in the state of Washington.

"There is quite a following on this zombie target shooting -- the idea of shooting targets that look like weird strange zombie people instead of human silhouette targets or junk targets appeal to a lot of people," Workman said in an interview with Seattle's King5 television news.

Tens of millions of viewers around the world are currently sitting on pins and needles in anticipation of what will happen next when The Walking Dead returns this spring. Who will get munched? What will happen to the Governor? Many viewers will sit through the show wondering, "is this foreshadowing? Am I really prepared for this?"

 

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"Every single person that you, or I has ever known, is dead!" - Will Smith's character, Dr. Robert Neville from I am Legend Zombies are cool? Zombies are sexy? Zombie movies, like Night of the Livin...
"Every single person that you, or I has ever known, is dead!" - Will Smith's character, Dr. Robert Neville from I am Legend Zombies are cool? Zombies are sexy? Zombie movies, like Night of the Livin...
 
 
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08:23 AM on 01/05/2013
Did you know the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC.gov) has a section on Zombie attack!?! I read about it here http://www.safety.com/articles/zombie-attack-guidelines.
The have Zombie Posters, a Zombie Blog...wow...
Excerpt:
Wonder why Zombies, Zombie Apocalypse, and Zombie Preparedness continue to live or walk dead on a CDC web site? As it turns out what first began as a tongue in cheek campaign to engage new audiences with preparedness messages has proven to be a very effective platform. We continue to reach and engage a wide variety of audiences on all hazards preparedness via Zombie Preparedness; and as our own director, Dr. Ali Khan, notes, "If you are generally well equipped to deal with a zombie apocalypse you will be prepared for a hurricane, pandemic, earthquake, or terrorist attack." So please log on, get a kit, make a plan, and be prepared!
09:29 AM on 01/05/2013
Our tax dollars at work!
(but actually there was some cool info there)
12:12 AM on 12/19/2012
I love "The Walking Dead", I even read "World War Z", but I know where to draw the line when it comes to reality versus Hollywood. Come on people, if you really believe that what goes on in movies and TV shows is real, then you must be zombies yourselves, or you just need to grow the eff up.
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Gary Amedee
Mea Culpa. Mea Maxima Cruenta Culpa
12:55 AM on 12/11/2012
The best thing about zombies is daydreaming about how you would set up your house to repel a zombie attack and how attractive the lone female survivor you are shacked up with will be. I have found that, if you ask, almost every man has a zombie survival plan ready to go in their head.
01:46 PM on 12/10/2012
The zombies are here. They are taking over. They are totally brain dead and oblivious to their surroundings. They can easily be spotted. They watch shows like America's Got Dancing Talent on Survivor Idol. They are always texting, even when driving. They roam around in groups. Or individually. They listen to the rhythmic beating of electronic drums. They can't think for themselves. And according to Bob Hope, they are Democrats. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
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crjslick50
10:55 AM on 12/15/2012
I thought Bob Hope was long dead.... is he a talking zombie?
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bassmeant1
actually, the irony was to be expected.
07:05 PM on 12/09/2012
gonna keep at it:

"zombie genre" + "doomsday preppers" = the set up for a class war.

why do the preppers all live in the burbs? why are they all white?
what do you call a homeless, starving, jobless, person who is intent on eating you out of house or home, whether physically or economically by drawing on welfare? a "zombie". what "are" zombies? they would be "the hordes of jobless, homeless, starving strangers in the streets that are coming to take what you have". much easier to say "zombie" because everyone giggles.

Peace
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boparenti
Remember Athens, Tenn
02:47 PM on 12/07/2012
Where is my comment. It is not here or being showed as pending. Is that what you do now is just chuck them out?
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boparenti
Remember Athens, Tenn
02:40 PM on 12/07/2012
I was interested in the story out of Colorado. There a skunk or fox transmitted rabies via social contact. Meaning it did not bite the others for transmission. This is a new strain that spreads like the flu or airborne. Now, a few things would have to happen. 1. If the disease mutated to infect humans. (Could happen) 2. The strain of rabies incubation rate dropped to 2-3 days. (Could happen) 3. Go super virus with antibiotic resistance. (Could happen)
Now we are talking zombies but not so docile like walking dead and not so super human like the Z movie. Lock and Load and you better where a respirator.
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ynori
One nation, indivisible
01:14 AM on 12/06/2012
I think popular culture's recent interest in zombies is partly from The Walking Dead, but also from several good movies like 28 Days Later and Shaun of the Dead, the popularity of video games like Resident Evil, and some good books, World War Z among them.

The breadth of interest in zombies lately, going from mainly horror fans to a much wider audience, can also be explained by the general mistrust and paranoia many people (especially Americans) feel toward each other. You can learn a lot from a generation by their taste in horror movies. In the '30s and '40s there were a lot of alien-themed horror movies and books. As our knowledge of space increased, so did our worry over it. In the '50s and '60s, our worries about the atomic age spawned huge radiation-created insects and lizards. In the '70s and '80s, front-page news of serial killers and mass murderers was reflected in slasher movies like Halloween and Friday the 13th. Now, when we're so divided as a nation (and as a globe, really,) and there is so little real trust and so many different manifestations of "enemies," the borderline phobia we feel towards others is reflected in the recent interest in all things zombie apocalypse. Symbolically, we daydream about preparing for (or fighting) the zombie apocalypse because we can't think our way out of the divisiveness we're seeing and experiencing in real life. That's my personal take on it.
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Tim Day
Am I waiting to Live or Waiting to Die.....
01:09 AM on 12/06/2012
John Boy Walton's Mole Milk is the cause...People milk that mole for it's brownish/yellow pustual elixar...they squeeze and toil sometimes for just a teaspoon full of it...On a hot day that will wash down a sandwich with that frothy foamy juice...Then it happens, they turn into zombie's...the ony know cure it to swallow the mole hair, which he gaurds with his life !
04:57 PM on 12/05/2012
We're already more than half way to a Zombie Apocalypse, after all now that Hostess is out of business it will be even harder for Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone and Woody Harrelson to find those precious twinkies like in Zombieland. Sign: The end is near!
Just don't forget the top tactics for surviving: 2.double tap, 1.cardio, 8. get a kick ass partner.
I just joined the NRA, got a gym membership, and have a pact with my best friend, so I'm feeling rather prepared!
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crjslick50
10:58 AM on 12/15/2012
You forgot the one about beware in bathrooms......
03:27 PM on 12/05/2012
The fact that our society is obsessed with Zombies only proves the majority of our society's inability to actually survive a Zombie Apocalypse. IF one actually occurred.

Zombies are devoid of feeling, reason, and basic consciousness. Which means they are the most basic, stripped version of humanity. They do not think. Do not reason. They simply act on impulse - being survival by way of any means necessary. In order to do so - killing becomes as easy as breathing, with no real remorse or thought of human life. Clearly, our society's obsession with such behavior mirrors an underlying jealousy. Zombies represent everything we - as humans and animals - wish we could do but can't because of our conscious and the unavoidable consequences. Throw us in a kill-or-be-killed situation against Zombies, and I put money on our behavior only mimicking theirs. Who knows, we would probably kill ourselves off quicker than the living dead do.
04:52 PM on 12/05/2012
I think there's an interesting escapism going on here, and stretching our minds to imagine the apocalypse does help us realize how good we have it. Every time I see those movies and think "Where do you shower? How do you get clean water? Where's the baby food?" it makes me a little more thankful of what we do have.

Your point is correct and it's something that does not really come across in all the fiction; an ENORMOUS amount of people will die. I'd be stunned if more than 1M out of 6B made it. But for those that did survive, I don't think we'd be jealous of them. Maybe in 100 years when they were able to rebuild the society with some improvements...
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crjslick50
11:00 AM on 12/15/2012
..."Zombies are devoid of feeling, reason, and basic consciousness"... I think you just described Congress.
03:07 PM on 12/05/2012
The zombie apocalypse is entirely possible. Are any of you commenters even watching The Walking Dead? The scenario is totally plausible, especially with the amount of bio-engineering going on in the world. I predict the apocalypse starting at a US military base and quickly spreading across the country, making the show look tame. Get ready people!
04:53 PM on 12/05/2012
I'm going to have to disagree with you here. Mass death due to infection? Sure, that's happened (Spanish Flu) and will happen again. But as biological organisms, it's just not possible to do what zombies do.
08:27 PM on 12/05/2012
Actually it is. Viruses and infections mutate all the time. All it would take is a mutated strain of a prion disease or a virus like rabies and you've got yourself a 28 Days Later rager zombie apocalypse, which would be much quicker and more deadly than an undead zombie apocalypse. If the governments are testing with these viruses, trying to weaponise them, then it would extremely possible, bordering on probably, that a zombie apocalypse could happen.
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crjslick50
10:10 AM on 12/16/2012
Tell that to the homeless guy that got 2/3 of his face eaten off. No bath salts were found in the attackers autopsy. But yeah, generally I do agree.
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Demitasse
Ars longa, vita brevis
09:00 PM on 12/05/2012
Bio-engineering, military base, apocalypse, - you've just described the premise from 'The Passage', a book by Justin Cronin. The book has vampires instead of zombies & they're really, really hard to kill.
02:38 PM on 12/05/2012
Why would we trust the government to protect the people during a Zombie Apocalypse with all this training they are doing when '28 Days Later' showed us that the military is the LAST group of people we could trust! Hasn't the bank bailout proven to us that the government will only protect bankers, NOT citizens? Because, and you and I well know, the average citizen isn't worth saving from a zombie unless they have been making their house payment on time!
04:55 PM on 12/05/2012
'28 Days Later' isn't exactly what I'd use to "show the military is the LAST group of people we can trust."

As far as the bailout is concerned, given how successful the gov't has been at keeping zombie banks around, I'd probably rely on them to keep the rest of us in decent shape.
05:22 PM on 12/05/2012
In almost every zombie film, the military are portrayed as vicious, abusive, trigger-happy preservationists that only make decisions based on collateral damage. The same could be said about bankers, but my point is that high yield populations are bulls-eye targets for a nuke, so flock to the forests and live off the land. The military would protect its own, no different than they have always been. Analogy to The Walking Dead: Woodbury segregates itself from the population with its own military force to protect its own interests, and so does Rick and the rest of the survivors in the prison. The military is no different, just look at any army installation anywhere: protected by fences and armed guards, they have no reason to let anyone in or worry about anything not intruding upon their own front door.
04:13 PM on 12/14/2012
Yes, just how would a fictional government deal with a fictional threat?

Oh wait. It's called "The War on Terror". My bad.
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nevitta357
04:39 AM on 12/05/2012
We used to have movies based on classic books, today we have movies and TV series based on comic books.
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Gudrun
My micro-bio is empty
12:43 PM on 12/05/2012
I've read all of the classic books and am enjoying the Walking Dead comic book series. It doesn't have to be one or the other.
04:56 PM on 12/05/2012
Agreed! One of my favorite parts is how the TV series is diverging from the books - it's like you get a whole new universe!
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v kozak
hostes alienigeni me abduxerunt,qui annus est?
11:57 PM on 12/04/2012
Do you know why they are getting prepared because they know the Governament as been developing and creating an absurd amount of chemical warfare and you know it's only a matter of time before someone messes up and this stuff spills everywhere.
04:58 PM on 12/05/2012
And? How would it spread? Chemical/bio doesn't just magically get up and transport itself around the country. Even if they _were_ doing virus research, these are also people who have families and friends, and probably would not be ecstatic to create something which could wipe out humankind without a solution.
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v kozak
hostes alienigeni me abduxerunt,qui annus est?
06:28 PM on 12/05/2012
Have you read or watch the Stand??? Humans are bound to make mistakes, if it can heppen it will its just a matter of tme.
08:35 PM on 12/05/2012
One of the only ways to create a cure for a virus/disease is to create the virus/disease in the first place. That's why government labs still have containers full of anthrax, so they can work on a cure should it be used against us. It's not a giant stretch of the imagination to think they're building bio-weapons to create cures for them, or even building bio-weapons for military purposes. Bio and cyber weapons are the big thing these days. If the government can build a bio-bomb that has no cure so they can use it against the enemy if need be, they sure as hell are gunna build it.