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David Bourgeois Headshot

Democrats on Track to Increase Congressional Majority: Sean Hannity on Suicide Watch

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Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell and Rep. John Boehner after a playdate.

Just about every major news outlet (as well as Fox News) have been gleefully positing that the Democrats are poised for massive losses in Congress after this year's November midterm elections. All you need to do is watch about 20 minutes of news coverage—on cable or the networks—and you'll soon conclude the 2010 midterm elections might as well be scrapped, called off. Game over already. The Democrats will lose the House and Senate. It's a given. Why even vote? Nancy Pelosi might as well hand over her gavel to Rep. John "Man Tan" Boner Boehner.

While the party of the president in power almost always loses seat in midterm elections, the potential "storm brewing" for Democrats took on end-of-the-world, epic proportions. The Democrats, the media cried, weren't just looking at losing both the House and Senate (the latter a complete impossibility)... No, the Democrats were on the road to extinction. Obama himself was declared road-kill. The unhinged even predicted impeachment. Shortly after health care reform was passed, a nutjob named Jeffrey T. Kuhner wrote an article in the Washington Times called "Impeach the President?" (Who is Kuhner? Ironically, a Canadian, who certainly benefited mightily from his country's government-run health care system. But I digress.)

Although the nattering nabobs of negativity began the Democrats Death March right after Scott Brown's insignificant Senate victory over a breathtakingly weak Democratic candidate in Massachusetts, it really sallied forth after health care reform was passed. Yes, according to the "liberal" media, expanding health care coverage for people in need and drastically overhauling a broken and corrupt insurance system would prove the Democrats' nadir.

When referencing the health care bill, smug d-bags called it "ObamaCare," said on-air as if it were "ObamaCare®." Tee-hee... what was supposed to be health care reform, according to crack journos and deadbeat pundits, was simply a misguided brand: Medicare run by some Muslim guy who may not even be a God-fearing American, for chrissake!

But something funny is happening on the way to November 2010.

What was once looking to just about everyone as a certain Republican sweep of the midterms is now looking more like the Democrats will not only hold on to both houses of Congress, but they (may) actually increase their majority. OMFG! Yes, in the past I've been accused by those prone to violence of advocating violence, but what now? Bill "I Hate Myself More Than You Hate Me" O'Reilly might say that I've "drunken the Kool-Aid." It's actually tasty... but let's look at what's transpired on fronts political and economic since the Health Care and Education Reconciliation Act of 2010 was signed into law on March 30.
  • Obama's approval rating | Despite what the news media (and Fox News) hammer home day after day, Obama's approval ratings are at a whopping 54 percent. The loathsome Dick Morris, who for months blathered endlessly about the coming GOP takeover, is now blogging about . . . Mother's Day. WTF? (He and his wife are threatening to cook a Mother's Day dinner for one unlucky t-bag d-bag who purchases Dick's latest book Toe-Sucking Prostitutes: My Life With Hookers.) Bottom line: As Obama's numbers rise, so too do Congress'.
  • GDP | In the first quarter of 2010, the economy grew by 3.2 percent. Sufficient to stem George W. Bush's recession/depression? No, but the the GDP numbers are the highest in the three years. Sean Hannity, you there? Anyone at Fox News on this story?
  • Consumer spending | The gloomy consumer is no longer so. In March spending is up the most in five months.
  • Financial-reform legislation | The Republicans were not content simply to sit on their hands during the health care debate. When financial-reform legislation was scheduled to be tackled in Congress, the Republicans again filibustered (well, threatened to anyway). Apparently, according to Republicans, Wall Street is in fine shape and needs no regulation. Excellent. Hey Mitch McConnell: Make sure all your GOP Senate candidates run on that. Americans love big, bloated banks.
  • Health care | Say what? Aren't 130 percent of Americans opposed to health care? Yes according to the humor website Fox News. No according to reality. Not content on losing the debate, the Republicans have actually set their sites on overturning the law . . . just when the bulk of the benefits kick in come fall. The GOP seem to think that voters actually support health insurance companies when they deny coverage due to pre-existing conditions. Nice one!
  • Sarah Palin | Nothing reminds voters more of the extremism, intolerance, and racism of the Republican Party more than Palin, who clearly cares far more about making money than governing. Keep lambasting Obama and the Democrats, Sarah, so the independents remember the GOP is chockablock with angry, do-nothing, white men.
  • Gallup | Oops. Breaking news, Gallup proves my argument.

Now, sure, there can be seismic shifts in the electorate come November. But if you read the copious right-wing number crunching of the impending election, you'd think that Sarah Palin is on track to be appointed President after the Republican Conquistadors plunder the country of liberals, gays, Democrats, minorities, and Keith Olbermann.

Yeah, anything can happen. But if the economy improves (which it is) and the unemployment rate drops (which it surely will by November), what do Republican Congressional candidates run on?

Elect us so we can... slide back into a Depression! Screw job growth. Let's return to the carefree days of the George W. Bush presidency, um, when unregulated banks ran wild and stole investors' money. That's right voters: Cast your ballot for the Republican candidate this year and let's see if we can whip up another financial crisis.

About the only hope the GOP has of overtaking Congress is a terrorist attack. Terrorist attack? Oh yeah. One was just foiled in Times Square, surely to the consternation of Sean Hannity and everyone at Fox News.