The Real Reason Huckabee Is Doomed

At whatever point Mike Huckabee's White House bid inevitably fades, the reasons for his decline will appear obvious: His reliance on born-again voters. His pushing of a national sales tax. Perhaps John McCain's higher-level endorsements (McCain man Arnold Schwarzenegger always trumped Huckabee sidekick Chuck Norris at the box office). But let's not overlook an equally important cause for Huckabee's falloff: His choice of musical instrument.

As confirmed by his gamely self-deprecating cameo on "Saturday Night Live" this weekend, Huckabee knows how to play the pop culture card better than any of his competitors in either party. At rallies and campaign stops, it's not unusual for Huckabee to unpack his electric bass and sit in with a local band (or perform with his own groaningly named group, Capitol Offense). Huckabee is surely the only candidate who knows the bass parts to Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Sweet Home Alabama," Van Morrison's "Brown Eyed Girl" and, to Boston leader and Obama man Tom Scholz's dismay last week, Boston's "More Than a Feeling."

Of course, Huckabee isn't the first presidential candidate, or president, to have an inner-pop-star life. Harry Truman studied piano as a child and continued to tickle the ivories during his presidency, although mostly classical and Gershwin. Bill Clinton's sax honking on the talk show circuit was part of his early iconography--politician as Blues Brother wannabe--although his style was closer to Kenny G's than to Bobby Keys' solo in the Stones' "Brown Sugar."

Sure, Jimmy Carter hung out with the Alllman Brothers, and Clinton invited Fleetwood Mac to his first inaugural ball. Huckabee, though, may be the first to truly exploit rock, using it as a way to connect with not just older voters but newer ones (he played the Lynyrd cover with high school students). Familiar classic-rock songs are catnip for boomers who still like to think they can stick it to the Man--much like the underlying theme of Huckabee's campaign.

But Huckabee's own preferred instrument unintentionally reveals more about him than his choice of repertoire. In traditional rock band dynamics, the bass player has always been the least exciting, least charismatic member onstage. As embodied by stoic archetypes like Bill Wyman of the Rolling Stones and the late John Entwistle of the Who, the bass player is generally stolid and far from flashy; his (or, occasionally, her) job is to maintain the rhythm and act as the musical glue.

Although they play essential roles in bands, bass players rarely upstage the other musicians on-stage. There have been notable exceptions of bassists as frontmen (Paul McCartney, Sting during his Police days, Primus' Les Claypool, that guy from Mr. Mister) and bassists trying to hog the spotlight (Pete Wentz of Fallout Boy). By and large, though, they're content to diligently ply their trade in the background.

Given that tradition, could any candidate be a more perfect bass player than Huckabee? He's unassuming and shlumpy; even during the debates, he was rarely a scene stealer. In YouTube clips of his campaign stop "gigs," he's never seen jumping in the air, hammering his strings or even, well, moving that much. He looks like a car salesman who, on weekends, plays bass in a cover band.

To push the rock band comparisons to an admittedly silly degree, Barack Obama is equivalent to a lead singer who makes people want to pump their fists while shouting along with a familiar chorus. Hillary Clinton is a summer camp folksinger--wooden if sporadically earnest. And as immobile as he can appear, McCain has something of the dark, moody lead-guitarist loner in him. (With his preening and Office Manager Ken Doll looks, Mitt Romney always seemed like a lead singer wannabe who spent too much time practicing in front of the bedroom mirror.)

And that's why, in the long run, Huckabee is doomed. Bass players are usually described as "solid" and "utilitarian." But hardly anyone expects someone like that to lead a band, much less a country. At this point, Huckabee's only chance is to switch to guitar, his original instrument, and learn how to play the solo in "Free Bird."

David Browne's new book, Goodbye 20th Century: A Biography of Sonic Youth, comes out in June.

Comments

[marignymitch]

Christianist fav Huckabee has lost the Republican primary so obviously god hates bass guitar players. Or is that christianists?

[FloaterBall]

Huffpo, oh Huffpo...why did you bag my comment on Huck playin' banjo, toothless hillbillies, and John Voight's pritty lips? C'mon, you know it was all in good fun! Damn.

[Flyhaf]

Fellas, fellas (sorry about the gender assumption, but ... c'mon ... it's bass players who care about the analogy)--you're going to have to stop comparing [Aw s]Huck[s]abee to bass players playing on their own. What Huckabee is is the *superfluous* bass player.

Ergo, I humbly submit that Shucks is the 2nd bass player from "Ned's Atomic Dustbin"!

Fingerstyle acoustic guitar solves those problems, you know. Not political problems ... bass line problems.

[Jeff1958]

Here's to a monster bassist that is anything but quiet and in the background: Phil Lesh. Fortunately, Mr. Lesh is not a fan of The Huckster.

[Tannim]

Here's to two others in that mold: Michael Anthony and Geddy Lee!

[jhNY]

Howzabout good ol' Jack bruce from Cream? Hardly a shrinking violet in the glare of the spotlight, that one.

But saying Bill Clinton's sax style was more like Kenny G's than Bobby Keyes'? I think you got it precisely backwards, although, I think you credit him far too much with having a style on the instrument than you should. Stumbling is not a style, and most of Bill's efforts were confined to just getting his horn to make a noise. But if he could have played like he wanted to, meaning if he ever really practiced, I think he would have had a Bobby Keyes or a Memphis Horns sound or maybe even a classic "honker' sound like Big Jay McNeely...

[antiparanoid]

I liken THIS guy more to Lonesome Dave Koresh.

[ichbineinhofer]

Percy Heath, anyone?

[emsique]

Dude! I'm a bass player in a power fusion trio, and I'm very much in the forefront. Today's bass player is more than just the anchor of the band, although that is still important. Huck is a decent bass player, a little old school maybe.

The White House could have used a bass player in the oval office to keep the whole thing together, although more of a Les Claypool type. Instead we have had a tone deaf rich kid who bought his way into the band because his daddy had enough money to buy the PA system, the lights and the tour bus. His band sucks.

Huck is losing because his platform is too religious, and nobody wants a national sales tax. His bass playing is the best part of his campaign!

[seawolf77]

How about Sting?

[phaedrusonbass]

Uuh, Geddy Lee, anyone? Anyone?

[desmirl]

If Huckabee was really going to play the songs in his head, they'd all be out of a Baptist hymnal--things like "Onward Christian Soldiers" and that really hot "Rock of Ages".

[lanceomatic]

As far as Bill Wyman goes, he supposedly got laid more than Mick and Keith. Let's not forget Lemmy of Motorhead. Listen to his work, not only with the band he has maintained for over 30 years, but also with Hawkwind. Give a listen to "Space Ritual" and concentrate on his bass-lines. Ain't nothin' wrong with the bass!

[saxmaniac]

Obviously you've never heard of Charles Mingus, Ron Carter, and the incomparable Ray Brown, the acknowledged masters of the bass. Before you pontificate, learn something about true American music, namely jazz, where these ggiants of the bass clef made significant contributions.

[thebassguy]

from thebassguy in NYC - what a hilarious point of view! Wierd religious guy, that Yuckabee, but a respectabl­y-talented bassplayer, I must say. We bassplayers are indeed musical glue, but can't necessarily glue the nation back together!

[Nommo]

How about Larry Graham?

[JohnFromCensornati]

I need to get some GCS on CD.

[unitron]

"How about Larry Graham?"

Best version of "Greatest Love of All" ever!