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House Unanimously Approves 'Apatow-Segel' Bill

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In a rare show of unity this morning, the House unanimously approved the "Apatow-Segel" Bill 435-0. It is believed that president Obama will sign the bill into law sometime this week.

If upheld, beginning May 1, 2012, all comedies and romantic comedies with a budget at, or above, $20 million will be required to feature an exec. producer credit for Judd Apatow, as well as a cameo by Jason Segel. Under federal law, studios that fail to comply after the bill takes effect will be required to turn over 10 percent of the back-end gross receipts to Apatow and Segel or face prosecution.

The bill has one provision which allows The Hangover franchise to continue uninterrupted until 2025, at which point, Todd Phillips will be executed.

Supporters of the bill claim that Apatow and Segel are the only ones left who can be trusted to release at least mildly amusing, non-animated films. It is also believed the comedic duo are the only two left in Hollywood who can actually get a picture made, and, upon release, turn a profit.

By limiting the amount of shitty comedies, the bill is expected to save taxpayers between $3 to 5 billion a year in unnecessary ticket sales, DVD rentals, online surcharges and popcorn/soda purchases.

Critics of the bill say it limits the choices consumers will have in the marketplace. Those critics were Eddie Murphy, Owen Wilson and Adam Sandler.