University Presidents Admit: We Like Money More than Fairness In College Football

After years of controversy regarding the lack of a playoff system in NCAA Division I college football, a vast majority of university and college presidents have admitted they care more about making lots and lots of money than they do about deciding a national champion fair and square. "Yes," said a trusted colleague of the president of a major Southern California University, "we know there would be lots of money with a playoff system in football, but we're just not sure that all that money would end up. We know where the money is now. We have it. And we like it that way."

When twenty university and college presidents were asked why Division I college football doesn't have a playoff, when virtually every other college sport does, none of them could actually come up with an answer. But a top-level administrator in the office of the president of a leading Texas University said, "Of course we could have a playoff system. Are you telling me we can figure out how to do that in water polo and curling and horseshoes for crying out loud, but we can't figure it out for football? But why should we? Do we care that Utah is undefeated and they never had a shot at the national title? Do we care about their players and fans? Do we care about any players or fans? The answer of course is, no we don't, as long as they keep giving us their cheap labor, in the case of the players, and their hard earned cash, in the case of the fans."

E. Gordon Gee, president of Ohio State University, has voiced a position which many school presidents ascribe to, when he says that he is violently and irrationally opposed to a playoff system. "We will not cross that Maginot line and get onto the slippery slope -- the professional-ization of college football and a furthering of the arms race," he said in the Columbus Dispatch. "We simply have to say no. If we don't say no to this, the horse has left the barn totally. I will vote against it under any circumstance."

However, a source high up in E. G. Gee's office said,

Professionalization? Oh yeah, we had a big laugh over that one. 'Hello, I'm the pot, you're the kettle, and I'm calling you black!' Let's face it, the billion-dollar college football industry is built on finding the most talented labor possible. And if that means greasing palms and getting alumni to buy that talent, so be it. If that means getting kids booze and babes on recruiting trips, so be it. Because once they're our property, all we have to do is feed 'em and house 'em, make sure they don't get caught doing anything illegal, arrange so they don't have to go to any classes, and get their tutors to take their tests and write their papers. That's the beauty part, we don't actually have to even educate these kids. Just checked the graduation rates if you don't believe me. Then after we've squeezed everything we can out of 'em, we cut them loose, and they don't cost us another penny. Meanwhile the stadiums keep filling up, the merchandise keeps selling hand over fist, and the TV money keeps rolling in. Of course we don't want this to look like it's professionalized, because then we'd actually have to give these athletes a cut of the billions and billions of dollars they're responsible for bringing in, and by God, then where the hell would we be? I'm here to tell you that in order to get a playoff in NCAA Division I college football, they will have to get the necessary votes from the cold dead bony fingers of the rich white men who run colleges and universities in these great United States of America. Because I mean, seriously, what kind of geniuses would we be if we killed the cash cow that's laying golden eggs?

Comments

[O-yeah]

http://www.montgomeryadvertiser.com/article/20090111/SPORTS/901110334/1002/sports

[HeresJohnny]

I'm not surprised at the response of the Ohio State president, but I am a little surprised at his apparent lack of historical knowledge. The Maginot Line was supposed to be an impregnable defense against the Germans in case they decided to attack again. Of course, when the Nazis did attack, they cut through the Ardennes- and went right around the 'impregnable' defense. They ended up knocking France out of the war within a month. Thus, I'm not sure that's the image Gee should have been going for. Then again, he is the president at Ohio State, so I guess that's par for the course.

I also find it odd that a playoff has been in existence for many years at D-II, D-III, etc. Only a chasing after dollars could forestall the obvious conclusion. But if things go too far, the university presidents will hire Jim Mora as a PR guy ("Playoffs???!!!").

[BlackJAC]

Let's not forget that the colleges that usually end up in bowl games are all state schools and consequently funded through taxation. That's why they're always making TV commercials, unlike private schools such as Stanford or CalTech.

[TopProf]

I'm SHOCKED. SHOCKED that the big universities want the money. (and Gordie, how many metaphors can a person mix in one passage?)_

[fpie]

Maybe schools could make even more money by opening brothels. I mean think of all the great talent that is going to waste on campuses all over america. And I'm sure the partisipents would sustain far fewer life altering physical injuries than football players.
Hey I just had a thought. Maybe we could fund education the way the rest of the civilized world does. We could get rich people to pay taxes. Hmmm? Nah, I guess that would be too silly to contemplate.

[dannyo152]

Football, unlike other sports, is meant to be played with a one week cycle. All the other collegiate sports schedules have 2 or more contests every week. If playoffs were such a great idea, why doesn't any conference have a football playoff system as they do for basketball, water polo, baseball, etc.

Meanwhile, add two to three more games over five weeks to the end of the season for the top two teams and watch more promising athletes lose their post-collegiate career to injury.

All for a more certain number 1? Or for a possibility of more elite matchups? It's not worth it.

[Drummaboy]

Hogwash Bro...Div 1AA...Div 2...Div 3...every other sport and Division in NCAA (including football) has a playoff.

The argument about more games and injury is Bogus...if injury was a concern they would never play any game...because you can get injured on any play, at any time. The fact is that only 8 teams every year would have to play 1 more game in an 8 team playoff (1st round bowl games)... only 4 teams would have to play 2 games and only 2 teams would have to play 3. Thats 2 teams out of 119 Div 1A teams...that would have to play more games...for a championship..I don't think they'd mind.

Make every conference and team play 10 (reg season) games per year and a conference championship, which would finally force ND to join a conference. Most of these teams play 12-14 games per season...so it's more than do-able. And yes for fairness it is worth it. Why play a season if at the end of it, even if I am perfect...I have no way of being champion?

[dukeitout]

Excellent article. We need a Div. I football playoff system like all other legitimate sports. The playoff system would bring in huge amounts of money just like the current crummy system.It would be fairer, more sportsman-like, use the same "uneducated" ( the university establishments' word) athletes and eliminate all the frustration exhibited by the typical fan. The university hierarchy may look down on the athletes (they really do) but they may be surprised at the revenues a playoff would generate. I'm sure if the college coaches in the Pac 10, Big 10, SEC, Big East, Big 12, ACC, etc were asked what would be best for college sports they would unanimously support a playoff system.