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World Cup Predictions From an American Soccer Fanatic -- Group H: Spain, Chile, Honduras, Switzerland

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Spain is in theory the #1 team in the world. They are the odds-on favorite to win the World Cup. They have an absolutely gorgeous goalscoring machine in Fernando Torres. His cheeks are so rosy and his eyelashes are so long, he looks like a cheesecake pinup model. And he can flat out play. They have a bad boy defender with perhaps the worst haircut at this edition of the World Cup: Carlos Puyol. "Tarzan" from Barcelona sports a 'do that equal parts Conan the Barbarian, Prince Valiant, and trailer trash mullet. Many are predicting Spain will go all the way. I am not. While they have the capability of playing better than anyone, they have deep insecurities regarding their own national identity. They see themselves as the inferior cousins of Europe, and in the end they will fold like a house of cards, while falling apart like a cheap suit. Chile will make it through to the next round if for no other reason than their coach's nickname is "The Madman." Switzerland is much like a clock when it comes to soccer. They're not fast, they're not slow, they just keep on ticking. The good news is, they don't allow very many goals. The bad news is, they almost score even less. Honduras? They have two chances of making it through to the next round. Slim and none.
GROUP H: YES: Spain & Chile NO: Honduras, Switzerland

David Henry Sterry is, along with San Francisco literary legend Alan Black, author of The Glorious World Cup: A Fanatic's Guide. With contributions by Po Bronson, Irvine Welch, and Simon Kuiper

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