Eyes Right

Gotta feel sorry for right wing columnists and shock jocks. Well, I do anyway. Arguing a leftist/progressive viewpoint is easy. You just check out the facts of the case, and of course since facts have a liberal bias, the column or blog just writes itself. You sit there, at the keyboard, and the arguments make themselves, the facts fit into place, the conclusion draws itself. There, all done, a day's writing finished in time for morning coffee and cookies.

But if you are a right wing blogger the work must be excruciatingly hard. You have a topic in front of you -- global warming, immigrants, Iraq, gun laws, gay marriage, the economy -- but the words just won't come. Beads of sweat glisten on the forehead, and the finger nervously runs inside the shirt collar, trying to loosen it a little. Whichever way you try to begin the facts keep getting in the way.

And instead of being able to let those facts just write the article, every fact has to be pushed down, got out of the way, misrepresented, twisted, ignored, statistics used selectively, lies told. Even on a good day all that work must take you at least until lunchtime, perhaps even mid-afternoon, and you still haven't been able to start actually writing the piece.

But now, facts out of the way, the blog can begin. The globe is no longer warming, the surge is working, more guns are good for society, gay marriage will lead to bestiality, money trickles down from rich to poor if only the Paris Hilton tax cuts are big and permanent. Even so, it still doesn't write itself. Logic must be twisted, arguments turned upside down, other opinions ignored. And worst of all you have to constantly think up new insults for progressives even though everyone knows they are terrorist-loving panty-waisted latte-sipping gay atheist socialist traitors who want to arm the criminals and disarm the conservatives. Insults are hard, new insults even harder. You can check out what Bill and Sean and Ann and Michele are using, but if you just copy that they might take over your morning radio slot or NYT column, so you have to modify, add new adjectives, think of more outrageous descriptions of these traitors, in order to stay ahead of the pack of wolves.

I think, on an average day you would be lucky to finish all that in time to meet Karl or an Exxon executive for the weekly dinner. But you must meet them to get tomorrow's topic. And the next morning the whole process starts again.

Who says they are paid too much?

All love and no money on The Watermelon Blog, it's just too easy to write.

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Comments

[framante]

Numbers please. Country names please. I think David Horton got it right.

[Berettasskeeter]

I'm glad you realize that the globe is not warming, as we are in the midst of a cooling cycle, "liberal facts" notwithstanding.
Facts do not have a liberal slant. Feelings do. Facts are facts, regardless of how you may perceive them. Firearms save a tremendous number of lives every year, so more guns ARE good!
Unrestricted immigration is bad for the country! Ask the unemployed youth and blacks of this country how they feel about illegals taking all the jobs they used to have.
Gay marriage is a travesty of marriage, not something a sane society can condone, or welcome.
No slant there, just facts.
Semper fi

[framante]

You say facts are facts, and I agree. You then go on to cite some alleged facts ... but you either omit all the facts or you confuse your opinion with facts.

Your sarcasm about global cooling can be tested against the factual number of scientists who either agree or disagree with you. Factually, you are in the company of a distinct minority.

Perhaps firearms can be shown to save some lives each year, but they also take lives. I venture that the facts will reval far more taken -- and tragically so -- than saved.

Before you curtail immigration you should get the facts as to where your cheap produce, among other things, comes from. There is a positive factual side to the immigration issue.

Your comments on gay marriage are wholly your opinions. They are devoid of facts.

[Berettasskeeter]

The number of scientists, real scientists, who dispute global warming (or any man-made climate change, for that matter, is growing by leaps and bounds, so there is no distinct minority.
The problem with your "facts" on firearms is that, unlike deaths which cannot be hidden for long, the successful defense of oneself CAN be hidden from the authorities, for a number of reasons. Further, it is not in the interests of a Leftist media to publicize those defensive uses that do occur. So, I would posit that the number of defensive uses far, FAR outstrips the offensive uses of firearms.
As to our cheap produce, that is the same old strawman argument used over and over. Produce farmers will find labor, and prices may have to rise. However, take a look at the numbers of illegals in our jails and prisons, particularly in California and the southwest. The numbers are rising and illegals make up a majority of offenders. Take another look at the reintroduction of TB, leprosy, and other communicable diseases once thought dead in this country. Yeah, your beloved illegals.
As to gay marriage, no country in history has long survived such depravity. That's a fact!
Semper fi

[Querent]

Your problem, Berettass, is that you think the definition of a fact is whatever you want to be true. When you say these things, you only succeed in making a fool out of yourself.

[tcagle]

Conservatives indeed. Who would want to conserve this present situation????????

[framante]

How sensible and self-evident. I like the observation that facts have a liberal bias.

[jmpurser]

Yep. The media doesn't have a liberal bias. Reality does.