The sun has slowly set upon one of Hallmark's most profitable holidays.
President's Day week has now arrived.
There are no expectations laid on us for this celebration... we can be seen in public without a partner and not an eyebrow will be raised.
Wait, I tell a lie. We are expected to make numerous purchases of products offered us in honor of great presidents. Somehow, these historical figure's deals seem to extend for weeks.
However, I, for one, refuse to be rushed and want to reflect upon Valentine's Day so recently past.
Some of us had "dates" with members of the opposite or same sex. Others joined together in small groups and chatted while eating pizza, chocolate-covered strawberries and sipping cocktails.
Still, there were some who wandered the streets aimlessly, in search of I know not what; but I hope they found it!
As for my Valentine's night, I sat glued to the computer aimlessly moving from messaging to notifications, then back to returning new messages on Facebook. So hypnotized by the scintillating conversations and backlit display, not a morsel of sustenance or drop of water lovingly caressed my lips for nine hours.
And whose fault was this, I ask? Who can I blame? Not the unavailability of my girlfriend. I am currently without female consort. A situation I hope will soon be rectified.
I'd like to blame Amazon, because they missed their delivery date due to massive snow storms. No, they weren't delivering a "girlfriend" of sorts, if that's where your mind was wondering.
I did not receive my Olympia Deluxe typewriter ribbon. Had it arrived, I would have plopped down and typed more pages of my potentially Oscar-winning screenplay... the one I've been working on for eight years. Certainly a worthy replacement activity for lack of female companionship on this most romantic of all evenings.
The photo below is of my typewriter in better days!
But oh no, it wasn't to be. Life can be so cruel.
I could have been a contender. Next year, I might have been at the Oscars, accepting the dubious honor of "Best Original Screenplay" by a young author. I say dubious because it's a documented fact there is no one lower on the film industry's scale than a screenplay writer. After submitting his masterpiece he no longer exists. He is relegated to the ether. Some unkindly refer to him as the afterbirth of a movie production.
But it wasn't happening this evening. My lonely Olympia suffered as well... packed in its hermetically sealed case, perhaps gasping for breath. "Am I not a man, do I not breathe," it may have been clacking through oxygen deprived keys.
And I was insensitive. I did not take the Olympia out of its case for an airing. I ignored it. After all, I couldn't associate with a typewriter with a worn and torn ribbon. How could I?
I a Huffington Post blogger read by the tens of... well some people read my work. I have a reputation to maintain. After all, HuffPost is kind enough to publish many of my blogs. I couldn't defame or defile its reputation consorting with a less-than-perfect typewriter. It is upon the keys of this machine that I always compose the first draft of my HP writings.
I lovingly Blog for the Huffington Post because I believe it to be the very finest of online publications. When I write, I choose my words carefully, ensuring that I will bring no shame to Arianna Huffington or the rest of the staff. My articles are written with intent and purpose.
So surely, dear reader, you can understand why I would not consort with a typewriter in sub-standard condition as it were. It was worse than ribbonless... it housed a used worn and torn ribbon.
Composing on it would have been as perilous as re-using a condom. I'd risk impregnating the page with unintelligible and near illegible words. A few might easily have escaped the editor's meticulous proofing and ended up upon a display hosting HP's latest Mobile App. This, I could not let happen.
I take what I do very seriously. Hence, I ignored my typewriter and toyed with the affections of my laptop chatting with individuals from around the world. Feh! :(
So, though I regret not having enjoyed a satisfying Valentine's Day, one filled with love, sex and videotapes, the creation of great literature or a compelling HP article, I still rejoice in having lived up to my creed. After all, I was raised with purity and Beaver Cleaver Baby Boomer Values. They don't make 'em like us anymore.
I did not compose an article for HP on Valentine's Day, waiting agonizingly as the minutes turned to hours. But alas, I eventually caved and threw caution to the wind. At 12 a.m., I flexed my fingers and began to free associate and create on the laptop what you are now reading.
The point, dear reader, there is none. Just as Cehalalgia interferes with the act of sex, a decrepit, worn, light typewriter ribbon prevents the creative juices from flowing and my best work from bursting forth.
I missed the sensuous feel of the Olympia's Bakelite keys caressing my finger tips and sending seemingly electric messages to my brain.
Many moons have passed since we began this little chat. President's Day came and went, yet my typewriter ribbon never arrived. Alas all was composed on a modern day laptop. I confess, my Luddite personality rebelled. But time waits for no man, especially an HP blogger.
I salute George Washington and Abraham Lincoln this President's Day week and reflect fondly on the Valentine holiday so recently celebrated by the masses.
Thank you for reading this writer's unedited, stream of consciousness, self indulgent piece. Please be patient and I promise my next article shall have at least some iota of purpose and a few pithy observations.
I wish you an enjoyable President's Day week filled with savings galore on "must-have purchases" of holiday reduced items. Go forth and shop till you drop!
Hold on just a moment, I must share one more tidbit.
If you are one of the lucky people who has a Valentine in your life, don't wait until next year's holiday to show your love and commitment.
There are hundreds of ways you can pamper them the whole year through, without breaking a sweat... er, perhaps the most fun one might be an exception. Heck!. It's worth the extra shower. Anyhow, give it a thought and spread the love!