Best Of 2008: JOKES
Here's the year-end list you've all been waiting for: BEST JOKES OF 2008!
1. "Hey, it's really cold! I guess someone forgot to tell GLOBAL WARMING about that!"
2. "Hey, did you notice Hillary's pants? I guess they really SUIT her!"
3. "Why do chickens make better lovers? Because they NUGGET!" (pronounce "nugget" like "snuggle")
4. "Hey, the Olympics were in China! Does that mean everyone ate chinese food? Because does that mean they used chopsticks? Because gymnasts need to STICK their landings, so I bet that was great!"
5. "Why did the economy go to the psychologist? Because it was having DEPRESSION."
6. "I guess President Bush is really excited to leave office and go home; after all he's a real MOMMA'S BOY."
7. "What did Rev. Jeremiah Wright say when his car broke down? 'GODDAMN CAR!'"
8. "Hey, did you hear about Dick Cheney's blog? It's really creepy."
9. "What's the difference between MTV and VH1? Who knows, all I see is a bunch of weirdos jumping up and down!"
10. "I saw a really scary movie last night, positively spine-tingling; it was called THE ECONOMY."
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I thought jokes were supposed to be funny.
Seriously. I want my two minutes back.
Expect my cleaning bill for making me go wee wee in my pants.
Heckofa job David Rees.
Those jokes were awful. Horrible. I may never recover.
How about .. "Bi*tch is the new black!
The new President is black, bi*tch !"
I love the Jeremiah Wright joke and I want to thank you for helping to keep me sane the past seven years. You are a light and a very humorous chap. Keep up the good work in 2009. Happy New Year!!
Keith Overmouth says "who is Rev. Wright"
a toothless termite walks into a bar and asks "wheres the bar tender"?
A pun painful enough to make a crying man groan, bluesoul.
What did George Bush say to Dick Cheney at the Christamas party? Hey Dick! Pass me a piece of that YELLOW CAKE!
OMG if you guys don't think Reverend Wright saying g@dd@mn#ed car about a broken car is funny, then you are a bunch of humorless wankers.
That was the one which made me smile.
Have you ever noticed that you can't comment on Andy Borowitz's posts? Anyway the one he did today with his Facebook comments for 2009 was really funny. I couldn't say that there, so I thought I'd say it here.
Me too!
These are so incredibly unfunny that I'm forced to assume you were trying to satirize something.
I get your point, but not only are these not funny, and not even really jokes, but they were extremely painful to read. Thanks a lot.
So, this duck walks into a bar. And the bartender tells him, "Hey, your pants are down!"...
Joke #7 there is never a good time to use God's name in vain.
you're right.....
And it's also a bad idea to use other mythical creature names in vain such as Tinkerbell, Santa Claus, or the Easter Bunny.
God is just another misguided creation of Man. Some day we'll learn to create things which don't destroy the world and don't enslave the weak-minded and uneducated. I hope 2009 is the start of that.
When Jesus comes back, the last thing he wants to see is a cross, especially one with his likeness still hanging on it.
That's probably why He hasn't come back. He doesn't want to be reminded.
To "take god's name in vain" means to claim that you speak for him when you don't.
It's not about cussing.
Too goddamn right.
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