Excuse Me, But I Have Something To Say About the Reverend Wright Scandal
Excuse me, but I have something to say about the Reverend Wright scandal.
Hello? Maybe you didn't hear me: I said, I have something to say about the Reverend Wright scandal.
"Reverend Who," you ask? Reverend Wright. (Maybe they're not covering him in your media market?) He's a goofball who hops around and bangs on podiums and does celebrity impressions.
Anyway, he's involved in a scandal -- or, maybe he IS the scandal -- or, the scandal is that he wasn't saying anything about the scandal at first(?) but now he's saying something about it -- anyway, the whole thing is a scandal. And I have something to say about it.
COULD YOU PLEASE STOP TALKING AND LISTEN TO ME?
I really think it would help if you heard what I have to say about the Reverend Wright scandal.
Once you've heard what I have to say about the Reverend Wright scandal, you won't look at Reverend Wright, or his scandal, or what people have to say about his scandal, in the same way ever again. Because I have something NEW and ASTONISHING and ORIGINAL to say about the Reverend Wright scandal.
It's an analysis of the scandal, sure. . . but it's so much more than that: It's also a personal reflection on the scandal, but contained within that personal reflection is a broader theory about the scandal -- a theory that actually serves to illuminate some of my points about the lesson of the scandal. And those points about the lesson of the scandal are just a preamble to my multi-dimensional political projection about the fallout of the scandal. . . which is merely the vehicle I'll use to drive home my thesis about the historical ramifications of the media portrayal of the subtext of the ideological faultlines that run the risk of overtaking the scandal!!!
Not to mention the fact that I'm going to make a HILARIOUS PUN about the scandal!
Honestly? When all is said and done (which should take about fifteen hundred hours, according to my calculations), what I hope to offer is an award-worthy, goosebump-raising call to arms about the scandal.
What I'm going to say about the Reverend Wright scandal will change the way the game called "Saying Things About the Reverend Wright Scandal" is played. . . FOREVER. It's the equivalent of introducing entirely new letters into Scrabble, or allowing manatees and ping-pong paddles in chess matches.
Are you paying attention? Hello?
What do you mean, "you're listening to what somebody else has to say about the Reverend Wright scandal?" ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND??? This is me we're talking about, here: The man who literally has something to say about the Reverend Wright scandal! Who are you gonna listen to, if not me?
Jeez, I think you owe me as much. Why?
BECAUSE I AM TYPING ON MY COMPUTER KEYBOARD.
I mean, do you have any idea how important this scandal is? I'll give you a hint:
It's very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, important.
You've never seen that many back-to-back "very's" in one place, have you?
No, you haven't.
That's more than two hundred very's. That's a "very huge" amound of very's, in case you didn't know.
The Reverend Wright scandal is that important.
And I have something to say about it. But I'm not going to say it until everyone is listening to me.
Hello. . . I'm waiting. . .
(Goes out to check the mail; goes to the gym; watches four episodes of 'What Not To Wear')
Well, I'm back, and I've decided not to wait any longer: I simply have to say what I have to say about the Reverend Wright scan--
OH GOD.
YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!
I DON'T BELIEVE THIS. . .
See that guy over there, on the other side of the internet? See him? The guy looking all smart?
HE SAID WHAT I HAD TO SAY ABOUT THE REVEREND WRIGHT SCANDAL!
Life is unfair.
Life is unfair.
Life is unfair.
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Funny and original! Keep up the very very very very very very very good work Rees...
Short a few verys, Vic.
I can tell by your post you must be a Bob Barr supporter.
Brilliant!
finally a chuckle. thank you.
The post is 'conceptual' in the same way the 'scandal' is conceptual. Its a national scandal for *being* a national scandal. No actual content is required under these circumstances, in the same way banging an empty fifty gallon drum makes a louder noise than a full fifty gallon drum. Nobody REALLY gives a plug nickel for what Obama's aging pastor said during a long-winded sermon 4-5 years ago. What they care about is the Obama having a 'scandal' to contend with. If it wasn't about this it would've been about how much he pays to get his hair cut (sound familiar?)
I don't see how anyone could say it more thoroughly or eloquently
The best article I have read all day.....
The reason why the media won’t let it go is very simply. It's the equivalent of standing around the water cooler to bullshit - which is essentially what they are doing except it’s all day. It’s a bad case of A.D.D. gone into overdrive. It far more stimulating for them to gossip all day than do actual work and report on vague economic info, which fire is burning, the daily death tall from war or a shot baby bear born in a zoo as pathetic as that sounds.
It empowers them to belch their own personal opinion rather than have to push facts off a teleprompter. So this is what our mainstream media news has evolved into. Get used to it.
It does matter that you want to hear what our next president has to say. The media will tell you what they think you should know, when they think you should know it and even tell you how to interpret the information by injecting opinion, spin, lack of balanced facts, omission of facts, or all of the above.
The Middle eastern world it tis explodin',
violence flarin', bullets loadin',
you're old enough to kill but not for votin',
you don't believe in war, what's that gun you're totin',
and even the Jordan river has bodies floatin',
but you tell me over and over and over again my friend,
ah, you don't believe we're on the eve of destruction.
Don't you understand, what I'm trying to say?
Can't you see the fear that I'm feeling today?
If the button is pushed, there's no running away,
There'll be no one to save with the world in a grave,
take a look around you, boy, it's bound to scare you, boy,
but you tell me over and over and over again my friend,
ah, you don't believe we're on the eve of destruction.
Yeah, my blood's so mad, feels like coagulatin',
I'm sittin' here, just contemplatin',
I can't twist the truth, it knows no regulation,
handful of Senators don't pass legislation,
and you tell me over and over and over again my friend,
ah, you don't believe we're on the eve of destruction.
the poundin' of the drums, th pride and disgrace,
you can bury your army, but don't leave a trace,
hate your next-door-
and you tell me over and over and over and over again my friend,
ah, you don't believe we're on the eve of destruction.
Oh yeah? We'll I'll see your song lyrics and raise you an inspirational song from a dead saint!
Dumb all over Pt. 1
Whoever we are
Wherever were from
We shoulda noticed by now
Our behavior is dumb
And if our chances
Expect to improve
Its gonna take a lot more
Than tryin to remove
The other race
Or the other whatever
From the face
Of the planet altogether
They call it the earth
Which is a dumb kinda name
But they named it right
cause we behave the same...
We are dumb all over
Dumb all over,
Yes we are
Dumb all over,
Near n far
Dumb all over,
Black n white
People, we is not wrapped tight
Nurds on the left
Nurds on the right
Religous fanatics
On the air every night
Sayin the bible
Tells the story
Makes the details
Sound real gory
bout what to do
If the geeks over there
Dont believe in the book
We got over here
You cant run a race
Without no feet
n pretty soon
There wont be no street
For dummies to jog on
Or doggies to dog on
Religous fanatics
Can make it be all gone
(I mean it wont blow up
n disappear
Itll just look ugly
For a thousand years...)
PT.2
You cant run a country
By a book of religion
Not by a heap
Or a lump or a smidgeon
Of foolish rules
Of ancient date
Designed to make
You all feel great
While you fold, spindle
And mutilate
Those unbelievers
From a neighboring state
The good book says:
(it gotta be that way!)
But their book says:
Revenge the crusades..
With whips n chains
n hand grenades..
Two arms? two arms?
Have another and another
Our God says:
There aint no other!
Our God says
Its all okay!
Our God says
This is the way!
It says in the book:
Burn n destroy...
n repent, n redeem
n revenge, n deploy
n rumble thee forth
To the land of the unbelieving scum on the other side
cause they dont go for whats in the book
n that makes em bad
So verily we must choppeth them up
And stompeth them down
Or rent a nice french bomb
To poof them out of existance
While leaving their real estate just where we need it
To use again
For temples in which to praise our god
(cause he can really take care of business!)
Hey, we cant really be dumb
If were just following gods orders
Hey, lets get serious...
God knows what hes doin
He wrote this book
An the book says:
He made us all to be just like him,
So...
If were dumb...
Then God is dumb...
(an maybe even a little ugly on the side)
Kudos for demonstrating the fine art of saying nothing practiced daily by the MSM.
You're ready for the top spot at FOX, CBS, NBC, and should serve as the ONLY AUTHORITY at ABC and CNN simultaneously. If you're modest in your salary demands (say, $2 million a month) you can save hundreds of thousands of $$$ per minute for these stalwart stewards of communication. You will also contribute immediately to a massive reduction in hot air thereby improving environmental conditions worldwide to the great benefit of humanity.
Great, great, great, great job!
I pray this is the only the first installment of the Rev. Wright epic. I hope it will be a continuing series.
I need to hear lots and lots more.
Not only need, I DEMAND to hear some more.
What did Brother Wright have for breakfast this morning. Is anybody on that? Has all this traveling around caused him to be irregular?
They tried to distract me with Miley Cyrus' naked back, but I'm not buying it.
Great post! Put it in the NYT. I wonder why Robertson, Falwell, Hagee and others, are not included in the "scandal".
None of the others" Served their Country! You" know how Right Wing Zealots are, all mouth and no action. My" it sounds the same as the Bushes, Cheny's, Roves, and all of the little Bushites. Just plain "ol cowards. At least the good Reverend was,is always will be a United States Marine.
And that gives that "Man the right to speak on the Policies of his country, no matter what subject he speaks about or how he translates it.
They were to "Chicken" to serve their Country. Just as alot of the "cowards in the Present administration.
Its easy for those on the right to "shoot off their mouths, and have others fight their battles,than for themselves to stand and fight when they go out and create their private little wars.
Amen, ya'll.
Quite possibly one of the best, most penetrating commentaries on the Wright "scandal" I have had the pleasure of reading and, no, I have never seen that many verys in one place, though I've heard just about that many at one time from my six-year-old.
You forgot to insert Barack Obama's Pastor after every mention of Reverend Wright scandal...
Because I'm not sure who you're talking about without that.
Peace.
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