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David S. Simon
David began his writing career with exclusive contracts at Walt Disney Studios, Universal Studios and Columbia Television. He has been a writer/producer on the staffs of some of TV’s most popular sitcoms including Mad About You, The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air, Full House, Sister, Sister and My Two Dads. He co-created The Wayans Brothers. He just wrote and directed his first short comedy films for his New York based company The Wit Protection Program, You can see That’s News To Me starring refugees from the worlds of Woody Allen, Stephen Sondheim, The Onion Newscast, Spamalot and Newsies on the site Funny or Die and his latest comedy short can be seen at and at film festivals all over the world.

You can read David's VERY special and totally unique book of magical realism for the grown up woman by searching "My Own Personal Mermaid" on

David is currently working on his first play, "Grave Doubts" with director Peter Flynn. He has two features in development with DreamWorks and Todd Phillips/Warner Brothers and has recently re-teamed with his friend Paul Reiser and the Carson Company to create a Larry Sanders behind the scenes sitcom that takes aim at the Tonight Show in 1970 LA. Good idea right?

He recently wrote a pilot for Carrie Preston (Emmy award winner for The Good Wife) and his many feature scripts and pilots in all genres are being read thanks to his manager and producing partner, the legendary Alan Gasmer former Senior VP of WM.

He is the father of Max and Jake and calls himself “dadicated.”

The last thing he wrote are the words: the last thing he wrote.

Entries by David S. Simon

Stranger Things: Night Three of the RNC

(0) Comments | Posted July 22, 2016 | 3:57 PM

I have been watching the RNC for the past few nights, listening carefully to every single word that has been said and to my amazement, beyond the endless hyperbole, imbecilic accusations, head-spinning lies and the EPCOT moving sidewalk parade of immediate, cosmetically enhanced relatives of the candidate who are standing...

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A Confederacy Of Dunces

(0) Comments | Posted July 21, 2016 | 12:26 PM

"I don't know if Obama is dumb, he's a Muslim or he's a Muslim sympathizer, and I don't think he's dumb." - Chachi Arcola, cousin of the Fonz and Joanie admirer, who will be a featured speaker at the RNC

I don't think anyone who is covering the Ringling Brothers...

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(1) Comments | Posted July 20, 2016 | 3:16 PM

It is time for all the allied countries of the free world who are now profound potential victims of terrorism to mobilize and do one mass relentless military strike against ISIS hitting them from all sides imaginable.

Now that everyday street vehicles have become weapons of mass destruction, the risk...

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The Lady And The Trump

(2) Comments | Posted July 19, 2016 | 12:00 AM

Being the comedy writer by trade that I am, I try to seek out the funny as much as I can in order to produce those wonderful little gas bubbles of giggles in the gut of my audience with a light cologne splash of enlightenment whenever possible.

I was all...

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We Are A Democrazy And It's All Your Fault.

(0) Comments | Posted July 13, 2016 | 2:25 PM

Why is it we just sit around and allow Congress to do whatever the hell it wants despite the demands of the American people?

We are not a Democracy. We are not even a Republic---although that is exactly how we operate.

We are a Democrazy.

We sit back and...

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Trump And The Teslafication Of America

(1) Comments | Posted July 11, 2016 | 7:21 PM

The presumptive GOP candidate, Orange Julius Caesar, has turned us all into Teslas -- and by this I mean thanks to his divisive and often blatantly racist language, we have become a country of freewheeling autonomous killing machines, driven by the same kind of violent road rage that can be...

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Dear New York Tourists...

(0) Comments | Posted July 8, 2016 | 7:10 PM

First of all, I want to welcome you to New York. Despite what you may have heard, New Yorkers are the most generous, kind and passionate people on the planet earth and we are genuinely happy to have you experience us.

If you are lost: approach us and we...

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Once Upon A Boy Of Summer

(0) Comments | Posted July 7, 2016 | 9:17 AM

Summer has officially begun its reunion tour, performing at all the Tanglewood festivals of me and just like that the file drawer that houses my seasonal memories has been flung open and I am awash with memories of summer days gone by.

When I was little, my blue collar parents...

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The Answer, My Friend

(0) Comments | Posted July 5, 2016 | 7:57 AM

I have always been a fan of the wind.

There is something about its invisible yet sometimes forceful presence that deeply touches me.

It's like being a principal performer in the all singing, all dancing three ring production of the greatest show earth.

It's like seeing what is there...

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You'll Believe A Man Can Frey

(0) Comments | Posted July 1, 2016 | 8:25 AM

The legacy of the musician is swaddled in the indelible melodies that they leave behind like comet trails that loop and swoop around our hearts like childhood kites.

They are attached to our innermost longing which is the secret harmonic signature of who we really are.

Sometimes the only musical...

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Dating Your Heart

(0) Comments | Posted June 30, 2016 | 8:09 AM

I've been dating my heart now, on and off, for years, ever since the days before it came of age and so did I.

When you are little, your heart is every bit as wild and out of control as you are and for that brief blink of whimsy toddler...

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The Trumpire Strikes Out

(2) Comments | Posted June 29, 2016 | 12:31 PM

Last night, the Yankees, leading the Texas Rangers into the damp night 9th inning with one out, had a three-hour-plus rain delay and suffered an inexplicable loss that included three batters getting plunked like ducks in a shooting gallery.

The game itself was perilous because of the weather conditions which...

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How To Succeed At Failure

(0) Comments | Posted June 26, 2016 | 11:26 AM

With today's topic being failure and my personal relationship with that particular vengeful God, I have to note what happened right before I set upon writing this.

I simply could not connect my Bluetooth keyboard to my iPad and the message I kept getting was: 

"Your attempts at connecting...

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The Candydate

(1) Comments | Posted June 24, 2016 | 11:28 AM

Every day I silently declare that I will not write one more word about Orange Julius Caesar, aka Don Corleone Trump. All the free air and print time that we are lavishing him with is his version of a Super PAC which you and I are paying for with our...

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(1) Comments | Posted June 20, 2016 | 11:31 AM

You know why they call it breaking news?

Because it is broken.

Most of the time what your Wolfs and Foxes are yapping about is nothing more than the sound of their own yapping and yelping.

The actual information you get most of the time can fill maybe half a...

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The Tight News Around Our Necks

(0) Comments | Posted June 20, 2016 | 12:03 AM

You know why they call it breaking news?

Because it is broken.

Most of the time what your Wolfs and Foxes are yapping about is nothing more than the sound of their own yapping and yelping.

The actual information you get most of the time can fill maybe half a...

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My Dad Was Here

(0) Comments | Posted June 19, 2016 | 10:24 AM

My dad was here.

Long ago but not now.

He was, in his way, a once upon a time, most powerful and influential presence who enveloped my own shadow as if it was his own.

He quietly took great quality care of us as if he had been trained...

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(2) Comments | Posted June 11, 2016 | 10:45 AM

If we got to vote in terms of evolution, I would put in a request that in the future women come with tails.

No I do not mean that women are, in the Trump sense, dogs. No, no, no.

It's just that I honest to God have no idea what...

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(0) Comments | Posted June 5, 2016 | 10:48 AM

You know who is better than Trump? Every single one of us.

We know better but are being way too complacent and polite---which is the benchmark of being a Democrat.

Perhaps we are too damn civil for our own kind.

The internet being our weapon of choice...

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The Appresident

(0) Comments | Posted May 26, 2016 | 12:14 AM

Get ready for the red carpet, Cleveland, because now that Donald Trump has taken over the party that he was not invited to, the only way to put his indelible stamp on the upcoming GOP convention is to turn it into a glittering reality show with a parade of B-list...

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