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The Top 10 Ways of Knowing If You're Becoming a Groomzilla

10/28/2012 11:47 pm ET | Updated Dec 27, 2012
  • David Toussaint Four-Time Author, Longtime Writer, Professional Playwright, Actor, and Pug Lover.

As a gay wedding expert and author of The Gay Couple's Guide to Wedding Planning, I couldn't be happier for "Good Morning America" weatherman Sam Champion's upcoming nuptials to photographer Rubem Robierb. While I'm certain they're headed for a lifetime of fair weather, I thought this would be a great time to list my top 10 tips on how to avoid becoming a Groomzilla. (It's not just a female affliction anymore.) To Sam, Rubem, and all of you other engaged men out there, here are the best ways to keep your future spouse from wishing he was tying the knot with someone a little less interested in wedding planning -- like the Royal Family or one of the Bachelorettes.

You know you're becoming a Groomzilla if...

One: Your Facebook friends are "un-friending" you in scores because every update, photo, and link is about your nuptials, including vendor information, that video of how you met, honeymoon plans, and the name of your registries. Guys, it's your wedding, not Mardi Gras, and you need to keep in mind that other people have lives. Try not to end every social network comment with "P.S.: More engagement photos to come."

Two: You've picked 12 groomsmen, your Best Man, and your first-dance song, and you've been engaged for less than an hour. Once you make the decision to wed, take time to savor the moment. After you get back to reality you might find that asking your overbearing boss to be in the wedding party was a huge mistake, or that P!nk's "Blow Me (One Last Kiss)" does not an appropriate first-dance song make.

Three: You forgot to register to vote, but you've registered for gifts at three different places. As easy as it is to think otherwise, taking time to do things like vote is (almost) as important to the future of the world as your wedding.

Four: The last two movies you saw were "Father of the Bride" and "The Wedding Planner." When friends tell you to take a break and get out more, they mean take in a new movie, or hit a museum, or go away for the weekend. The only thing you need to do 24/7 is love the guy at your side.

Five: You've stopped working out...and you live in Chelsea. Fitness is imperative, not just for your long-term health, but to ease wedding stress and clear your head. You'll actually have more energy if you schedule regular exercise.

Six: You're so engrossed in the glamour of wedding gifts that you've registered for martini sets, china, cookware, even a toaster -- and you've lived in the same house with your fiancé for 20 years. Unless that home is a trailer with no amenities, avoid registering for wedding items you have no use for. Virtually everyone has a registry these days, which means your gift options are unlimited. If you don't want presents, you can give to charity or form a registry to donate to one of your favorite LGBT organizations.

Seven: You gave tonight's front-row Madonna tickets to a friend because you're in a tizzy over seated meal or buffet. No planning complication is so important that it can't wait a day. If your Best Man gets stranded in Hawaii the day before your Nebraska wedding, stop what you're doing and make adjustments. Otherwise, get up on the dance floor and have some fun.

Eight: Your mind goes blank when someone mentions the phrases "Honey Boo Boo," "binders full of women," or "What are your holiday plans?" While not understanding what that first phrase refers to might be a blessing in disguise, having no knowledge of current events is a sign that you're too self-absorbed. Read the paper, watch the news, and, most importantly, connect with your friends and loved ones in a way that does not involve your wedding. Make it about them for a change.

Nine: You've ordered an eight-tier cake -- and your guest list is 20. Face it, wedding stuff is fun, fun, fun. But don't go overboard: Once you know your budget, guest list, and formality, stay within those limits. Otherwise, you might end up with egg on your face and a lot of maxed out credit cards.

Ten: Your mother tells you she wishes your wedding was less stressful than some of the other ones she's planned -- like her own. In this case, Mother definitely knows best!

Congratulations, Sam and Rubem, and all you engaged men out there. May your days be sunny and bright!