More

Featuring fresh takes and real-time analysis from HuffPost's signature lineup of contributors
David Weinberger

David Weinberger

Posted: January 16, 2011 09:31 PM

The names of the top bands of the 1960s are so much a part of them that it's almost impossible to think of the names simply as names. But let's make the effort in order to evaluate how good their names were.

Of course, names can be good in many ways. They can be descriptive, ironic, memorably eccentric... But, it seems to me that some of the best bands had the worst names.

Here's an unordered and, of course, utterly subjective list, graded on a scale of 1-10, where 10 is best:

  • Jefferson Airplane: Retro + modern + meaningless = psychedelic. 8
  • Supremes : Cocky, but lived up to it. 8
  • Rolling Stones: Great name for itinerant minstrels. Terrible name for a rock band. 4
  • Fairport Convention: Appropriately rustic and archaic. If it didn't sound like the name of an obscure British peace treaty or forgotten dart rules, it'd be close to perfect. 8
  • Grateful Dead: Good hyperbolic name for a metal group. Totally inappropriate for a group as sunny as this. Points added because they were clearly tripping when they came up with it. 6
  • Mamas and Papas: Terrific name for a kiddy band. Meh name for a pop group. 5
  • Gladys Knight and the Pips: Pips? Really? Is this a British vaudeville group that comes out in boaters? All of this band's points go to the first half of its name: 3
  • The Beach Boys: Beach music sung by boys. Sounds frivolous, but then they sing. Frivolously. And then they do Pet Sounds. 9
  • Four Tops: There are four of them. They are the tops. The naming convention flags their genre. Well done, lads! 9
  • The Doors: An incredibly prosaic name that works ironically for their druggy music. Plus, it's an appropriate literary reference — which would be better if their worst songs weren't the ones that opened the doors of perception the widest. They shouldn't have invited The Lizard King to the naming discussion. 9
  • The Four Seasons: They have nothing to do with the seasons. They have nothing to do with Vivaldi. It's a bland, generic, misleading, slightly pretentious, placeholder of a name. Point added for the correct counting of band members. 2
  • Jerry and the Pacemakers: You know immediately what sort of band they are, unless you hear "pacemaker" as a medical device and think that they're going to show up in walkers and plaid pants buckled beneath their pot bellies. Gotta split the difference on this one: 4
  • Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention: The Mothers were men, plus you have the swear-word implication, plus they were actually inventive. All of which doesn't even matter. You had me at "Zappa." 10
  • The Byrds: Did they misspell it because "birds.com" was already taken? Oh, wait. They misspelled it to be cool. genericName + misspelling = genericName - 2. Final score: 1
  • Creem: Ironically refined food-based name. Sexual connotation. Bold statement that they were a super-group composed of the filtered extract of great other groups. The lack of a definite article makes it even cockier. 10
  • Sly and the Family Stone: You've got the slyness of "Sly" and the family-ness of "Family," but together with a straight-on drug reference. A totally wtf name for a wtf group. 9
  • Steppenwolf: Sounds vaguely and appropriately threatening and aggressive, despite the totally inappropriate literary reference. 7
  • Credence Clearwater Revival: The length of the name has a throwback quality, and the three words each independently says that this is a group about something simple and pure. It would have been a terribly pretentious name for a folk group, but it works better for a rock group. 5
  • Led Zeppelin: The winner in a contentious argument about what to name a psychedelicious band, if the band members were all 14 years old. For an adult band, it's just embarrassing. 3
  • The Beatles: See Led Zeppelin, but drop the band's age to 12. "Oooh, and we can spell it B-E-AT instead of B-E-E-T." Is it an accident that as far as I know, the Beatles never once used a beetle in their iconography? Terrible pun, terrible name. 2
 

Follow David Weinberger on Twitter: www.twitter.com/dweinberger

The names of the top bands of the 1960s are so much a part of them that it's almost impossible to think of the names simply as names. But let's make the effort in order to evaluate how good their name...
The names of the top bands of the 1960s are so much a part of them that it's almost impossible to think of the names simply as names. But let's make the effort in order to evaluate how good their name...
 
 
  • Comments
  • 14
  • Pending Comments
  • 0
  • View FAQ
Comments are closed for this entry
View All
Favorites
Recency  | 
Popularity
12:11 PM on 01/22/2011
CrEEm???? Who were they??? Guess that spelling makes them cooler than the BEAtles.
photo
americawasgreatonce
Life is not fair, get used to it.
09:23 AM on 01/17/2011
Hmmm...Lets find a name for an American president post 9/11... how 'bout Obama!

A name is just a name, it's the beef between the buns that counts.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Demitasse
Ars longa, vita brevis
02:48 AM on 01/17/2011
Ok, The Beatles may be a terrible name, but it's better than The Monkees. Jimmy Page & the boys may have picked Led Zeppelin because the much more awesome Iron Butterfly was already taken. Gladys Knight & the Pips makes more sense (at least pip is in the dictionary) than Martha & the Vandellas (vandella, is that a female vandal?) or Archie Bell & the Drells (a drell, is that a cousin of Forbidden Planet's Krell?). Jefferson Airplane but no Moby Grape? And then there's Black Sabbath, Buffalo Springfield, Lovin' Spoonful, & The Guess Who.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Rogan
07:49 AM on 01/17/2011
The New Yardbirds changed their name to Led Zeppelin, because while they were playing the demos for their friends, Keith Moon said, "this band is going to go over like a Led Zeppelin" (I'm paraphrasing).

They spelled it Led, because they figured the American kids they wanted to sell records to, might be dumb enough to mispronounce it, if they spelled it "lead."

I always think: well, it may not be a great name for a band, Led Zeppelin... but at least it's a step up, from The New Yardbirds.
photo
Dave TN
work, work work!
02:23 AM on 01/17/2011
This one hornets nest for David Weinberger to wade into, more so than politics.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
donnyraindog
Hi Mom!
12:43 AM on 01/17/2011
I hit at least 150 dead shows the band was a lot of things sunny was not one of them.How in a piece about band names do you leave out moby grape, the 1910 fruitgum company,the zombies or quick silver messanger service to name a few.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
whizkid
12:29 AM on 01/17/2011
Roxy Music. Great name.
Always liked Blue Oyster Cult too.
12:12 AM on 01/17/2011
The Supremes' name was apt; it should be rated "10" by any standard. With Diana Ross at the helm, the group charted consistently and had the final #1 record of the decade.

"Jerry and the Pacemakers" must have been prescient and, predicting you wouldn't like that name, they became known, officially, as "Gerry and the Pacemakers"and seemed to do okay.
garystartswithg
el sueno de la razon produce republicans
11:15 PM on 01/16/2011
and then they became a starship and built cities on rock and roll.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Fred Ricardo
The white hat, Truth, Justices and theAmerican way
10:59 PM on 01/16/2011
Better names are Yard Birds, The Beach boys (unless you rate them in the '50s), The box tops,Buffalo springsteen, Deep Purple, The Kinks, Moody Blues

Fun Fact, Many of the same Artists played together in different bands.
12:48 PM on 01/17/2011
I didn't know Bruce Springsteen played with Buffalo Springfield. I must have been much higher than I thought in the 60's.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
John Nail
35 yr. vet in benefits & health industry
10:38 PM on 01/16/2011
Yet the "Beatles" are the largest cultural phenomena in US if not world history as well as billionaires...

So Google, Amazon, Twitter, Apple are all 'lousy" names as well?
12:49 PM on 01/17/2011
Only Paul McCartney reached billionaire status. The others didn't even come close. Look it up.
10:38 PM on 01/16/2011
The legend is that the Beatles were so-named in homage to Buddy Holly and the Crickets and they threw the A in there because John dug the Beats. Don't know how true any of that is, but it sounds good. My personal all-time favorite band name came from a relatively obscure British psychedelic group who called themselves "Hap Stash & the Colored Coat, the Human Host and the Heavy Metal Kids."