07/25/2009 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

Ten Small Steps We Can Take To Save Our Planet

I believe that to save our planet, there's no need to make big changes in our lifestyles. For example, I happen to be able to fall asleep only in the passenger seat of an idling Hummer. So shoot me. I like to think I more than make up for it with the small steps I take every day to save energy and end pollution:

I wear a solar-powered watch, saving close to 0.0006 millivolts every week.

Whenever possible, I jump into the same revolving door segment as the person ahead of me, resulting in a vast savings in the exchange of inside air for outside.

Combined shampoo-conditioner saves gallons of water every day. But don't forget: Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

House rule: When the bedroom air conditioner is on, you must take off one of your blankets. No exceptions!

When I leave my computer on overnight, I make sure that it's showing some non-intensive page, such as the Wikipedia entry for Jerry Lewis, as opposed to the Wikipedia page about the Large Hadron Collider, whatever that is!

I cut down on carbon emissions by taking two in-breaths for every out-breath.

Now when I dream I can fly, I no longer leave contrails.

I'm not a "tree hugger." That's silly. Much better: I carve key lines of "The Secret" into them.

Save water! Shower with a friend! For twice as long!

I route my "gray water" directly from the kitchen out into the garden. TIP: To show your support of the environment, do what I do: I dye that dingy water a pleasant green.