Top 10 Reasons Sarah Palin Cancels the Debate

10. Suspicious Russian tourists spotted across the Bering strait in Dezhnevo

9. Wrasslin' a bear

8. Learns Tina Fey will be watching

7. When taken on tour of White House by McCain handlers, is "inadvertently" locked in Cheney's man-sized safe

6. Schedule for memorizing state capitals thrown off by need for new schedule to memorize states

5. Speechless after finally looking up what "MILF" stands for

4. On deadline to finish her book, Namin' Your Baby the Alaskan Way

3. Needs more time to really nail those hilarious hair-plug zingers

2. No matter how hard she scrubs, she can't get Kissinger's moral stank off of her

1. Stuck in traffic on the Bridge to Nowhere

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Comments

[sloreader]

I would amend #10 to:

10. Has to travel to Nome to resolve international incident involving Boris & Natasha's request for a permit to hunt Bullwinkle J. Moose.

[LiarLiarIraqsOnFire]

*~* WHAT'S YOUR SARAH PALIN NAME? *~*

Find out here: http://politsk.blogspot.com/2008/09/sarah_13.html

[Barticus]

Palin's not going to the debate. Tina Fey is going to fill in for her. Let's see if anyone notices.

[Bubba in Okeechobee]

They might. Tina Fey starts off with much, much, much more inate intelligence.

[mspye]

# 1, 6 and 9 are absolutely classic!

But wouldn't it be "wrastlin" a bear? Just wondering cause I frequently use that term to seduce my boyfriend...as in "you wanna do some wrastlin?"

Works every time....who can resist?

[DragonBuddha06]

She wanted to attend, but couldn't remember where it was that she read the time & date

[kevinmcd]

I was hoping to get a laugh out of one of your ten.

[DangitRuss]

You're taking this too seriously then

[wfalda]

She can't get out of her cave. There is a vicious dinosaur outside trying to eat her.

[gaysofla]

My Top Ten

10. Wasilla Assembly of God’s yearly Holy Spirit Revival starts the same night.
09. She gets pissed off when it’s revealed that Alaska won’t get any of the 700 billion dollar Wall Street bailout.
08. Palin seriously injured while trying to put lipstick on a pit-bull.
07. Alaska succeeds from the Union and Palin realizes she doesn’t have to wait for McCain to kick the bucket-She can be President of her own country.
06. Dammit, that’s the same day Alaska Caribou Season opens.
05. A previous book burning commitment outside the Wasilla Public Library.
04. Didn’t want to miss First Dude Todd’s regional snowboarding meet in Fairbanks.
03. She just can’t take anymore of the ‘gotcha journalism’ practiced by the liberal media.
02. Can’t nail down the pronunciation of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
01. Television appearance conflict-didn’t want to follow McCain’s example and piss off David Letterman.

Thanks,
David L. Wylie

[The Impartial]

In #7 you meant , "Alaska secedes from..." Right?
Well, it's what she and her husband wanted.

[gaysofla]

Thanks Impartial.­..Succeed, secede, Potato Potatoe...

At least I was able to go back and correct it on my blog.

[gaysofla]

GaySoFla.com readers have come up with their own Top Ten Reasons Why Palin will be a no show on Thursday:

10. Wasilla Assembly of God’s yearly Holy Spirit Revival starts the same night.
09. She gets pissed off when it’s revealed that Alaska won’t get any of the 700 billion dollar Wall Street bailout.
08. Palin seriously injured while trying to put lipstick on a pit-bull.
07. Alaska succeeds from the Union and Palin realizes she doesn’t have to wait for McCain to kick the bucket-She can be President of her own country.
06. Dammit, that’s the same day Alaska Caribou Season opens.
05. A previous book burning commitment outside the Wasilla Public Library.
04. Didn’t want to miss First Dude Todd’s regional snowboarding meet in Fairbanks.
03. She just can’t take anymore of the ‘gotcha journalism’ practiced by the liberal media.
02. Can’t nail down the pronunciation of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
01. Television appearance conflict-didn’t want to follow McCain’s example and piss off David Letterman.

Thanks,
David L. Wylie, Senior Editor
www.gaysofla.com

[ThirdSection]

109. I... um... the American people deserve... and job creation!

[godsbreath64]

Top 10 Reasons Sarah Palin Cancels the Debate

106. Someone wispers "nastrovia"

>: = /

[ThirdSection]

13) Hospitalized after attempting to put lipstick on a pit-bull

[godsbreath64]

Again !!

[winnieviola]

Ooh, ooh, how about she needed to field dress the moose she hit on the freeway within the time frame allowed by the road kill law.

[Passenger57]

See,she was on driving on the Road To The Bridge To Nowhere,but she was so busy trying to retain the information she soaked up during the marathon cram session for the debate that she forgot she said "No Thanks" to the actual bridge.
Unfortunately,she was in mid-air when she remembered this,so then her 4X4 came to a dead stop,she looked down,looked at the camera, and dropped into the water.

[vizbit]

Wildest & funniest entries in a long while, lol.
Thanks, guys.
Comic relief, that's what we need to get through
these wild and crazy times.

And as for the sad commentary, the one that touts
the prowess of the mighty ruler from Alaska...

Why would anyone of such calibre fall prey,
succumb to being force-fed,
cram to the point of falling asleep, eyes wide open,
regurgitate the unfamiliar in random fashion?

Energizer Bunny, go beyond cancelling... bail out

[WasteNJ]

That was pretty damn good.

[courageunderfire]

Damn good indeed! Sometimes you just need to escape the reality of things.....just for a moment anyway.....