Top 10 Reasons Sarah Palin Cancels the Debate
10. Suspicious Russian tourists spotted across the Bering strait in Dezhnevo
9. Wrasslin' a bear
8. Learns Tina Fey will be watching
7. When taken on tour of White House by McCain handlers, is "inadvertently" locked in Cheney's man-sized safe
6. Schedule for memorizing state capitals thrown off by need for new schedule to memorize states
5. Speechless after finally looking up what "MILF" stands for
4. On deadline to finish her book, Namin' Your Baby the Alaskan Way
3. Needs more time to really nail those hilarious hair-plug zingers
2. No matter how hard she scrubs, she can't get Kissinger's moral stank off of her
1. Stuck in traffic on the Bridge to Nowhere
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I think this is beneath the seriousness of a presidential campaign. Can we keep our eye on the ball? Four weeks is an eternity in pres politics. This race is still a virtual tie and we all know what the GOP is capable of in close elections. If you want to do an article on something, interview the executives at Diebold and figure out how the voting machines have been updated and revised to prevent voter fraud this time!
If we don't inject a little humor into this we will all go stark raving nuts! Lighten up. There are 30+ days to go.
Oh, God! After 8 years of balling like a baby, in fetal position, feeling the pain, always more pain, I caaaaan finally laugh a little!
What is stuck up your butt? Wow. 99.9% of Huffington Post is serious. Can't readers have a little fun every once in awhile? Nobody has forgotten the seriousness of this election.
Also, if you don't like it, don't visit the site. I commented earlier that I only found 2 of the top 10 slightly humorous, but I still appreciate the contribution by the author.
One bonus for you -- with that attitude, Palin may just choose you as her future running mate! After all, McCain only has a 1 in 4 chance of surviving a second term.
I'd like to think that America is smart enough not to vote for the McCain/Palin ticket, but given our mistakes during the past two elections, I have to brace for the reality that McCain may end up in the White House. I will, however, cast my vote to try and make sure he isn't.
I beg to differ, the election is deadly serious but the McCampaign's tactics deserve lampooning. His clueless true believers have flip flopped more than Jimmy Buffett in the last few weeks and their idiotic meanderings deserve to be called out publicly. Enough said?
Scary thought! Sarah Palin must be smarter than the average McCain / Palin voter.
12) Schedualing conflict: She must be in Lake Woebegon, MN to tape an episode of Guy Noir, Private Eye, and Thursday is the only time Garrison Keillor has free. When Keillor wants you to play a damsel in distress, you just can't blink, ya know!.
By the way...where is Joe Biden? I do not hear much from him these days. Let's hope he is not taking this deabte "for granted". Joe, do not rest on your laurels, please prepare and do not fall through the Roveian trap door!
Joe was asked about the debate preparations: his reply was a signal with both hands, palms pointing down, lowering them together slowly, indicating mellow, mellow. Let Palin do all the talkn'. He's totally on board with the right strategy.
As good as Letterman, great job, needed the laugh.
12. Had to keep order in Alaska as "The Rapturers" arrived following the US financial meltdown.
Well if Joe Biden agrees to wear a swimsuit and we can have a contest for who looks best in one then Sarah should bebate him she would have a big advantage. However, if the interviews we have been seeing with Sarah Palin in the news is any kind of preview of the debate then expect some tears and sexism accusations to rap the debate up because she is in for a rude awakening. Real politicians with experience in public office doing what she claims to do in Alaska will be hard to bluff. Her foreign policy statements alone would make an enemy of the USA become emboldened to attack us somewhere just to see if she noticed them 'flying overhead.'
11. Witch doctor placed a spell on her to enable her to pronounce "nuclear" correctly, and now she reverses all her consonants.
the woman is incompetent. Joe Biden should just do his thing, focus on the facts and let her implode as she is likely to do.
Ask the mayor she unseated, ask the republicans she exposed and ran out of office for corruption if she is incompetent. While you are at it, ask the oil companys that fork over money to the residents of Alaska, 3500.00 each, if she is incompetent. The goverment in Alaska works better the Captial Hill crowd could ever dream of.
Some good points, but big fish, small pond. My virtually unknown city in Los Angeles County, Torrance, has around 200,000 people at night and over 1 million on average during the day. More than the entire state of Alaska.
Palen was a big fish in a small pond.
Biden is a big fish in a big pond.
Are you deaf? Live in a cave?
Qualitytime -Palens- Qualitytime!!
Qualitytime -Palens- Qualitytime!!
Qualitytime -Palens- Qualitytime!!
If this debate is cancelled Sarah might have a chance on "Are you smarter then a 5th grader".
That's an insult to most fifth graders.
Those kids are way smarter than Palin.
Qualitytime -Palens- Qualitytime !!!!
Qualitytime -Palens- Qualitytime !!!!
Qualitytime -Palens- Qualitytime !!!!
Qualitytime -Palens- Qualitytime !!!!
I'm sure most 5th graders can name one or two newspapers.
Very nice.
Yes, she will be well-coached to not speak outside narrow limits, she will have her talking points on all the probable questions and how to deal with unexpected ones, she will come armed with a few snappy comebacks, and be coached on what not to say based on practice debates in which her gut reactions will be examined and her responses changed. She may stumble two or three times, but no major gaffes and the press will have her as performing "better than expected" and "wow! she almost sounded as good as Biden!"
This will then be claimed as a victory for her by Fox and the Limbaugh-Hannity crowd, and the Brokaw-Stephanopolous crowd will give her a passing grade. Olbermann, Maher, and Stewart will be more critical, but they will be preaching to the choir anyway.
And it all won't matter much since the economy will sink McBush in November.
Exactly, and the witch doc...,I mean spin doctors, already have their post debate talking points on her performance written.
So, since we ALL know the script by now, what are we each doing to make sure that we get the end of the movie right?
Please...the jokes help quell this horrible, nagging feeling that we are in utter collapse (and I'm a Republican). I can't wait to get my "My Parrot is Smarter Then Sarah Palin" bumper sticker tomorrow.
while it is very funny and the fact remains that a trailer is still a trailer no matter which park it resides in, this is better suited to Letterman as opposed the HP.
While I did laugh, this just adds more fuel to the fire for the neocons to further drive the wedge issue of class.
Keep it up!
Idealogues have fed the lower expectations for Palin. Consequently, when she faces Biden [remember him? ] she will look good in comparison.
Biden is already a loose cannon and a laughingstock who isn't taken seriously. He even said Obama wasn't qualified to be President and McCain was.
Reese Whitherspoon in Legally Blond,, could run circles around Palin,,,, on a bad day.
All Joe Biden needs to do is show up and be the gentleman HE IS and Palin will be seen for the poor choice of desperation and Evangelical PANDERING,,, SHE IS.
This is NOT a gender thing. Most girl seniors in High School could dust her clock with their brains fried from Spring Break!
Palin doesn’t even know the Bible,,, For Gosh Sakes,,,, let alone principles of Strategic Limited Warfare, History, Civics, or even basic issues of National Security.
All Joe needs to do is,,,,,, LET HER TALK!
Sarah Palin will do the rest,,,, herself.
Oh and on National Security,,, the last time I checked,,, Canada has no plans to invade the United States,, and Putin is NOT the President of Russia!
JMO
All the best
Knute Neo-LIB
I love this response. My daughter, who just recently graduated high school, was on the debate team. She said she and her friends (both Dem and Rep) who had debated watched her as she gave her 'speech' and her interviews. Basic consensus from debaters is she couldn't talk her way out of a paper sack without an ear piece telling her what to do....
Soon to be Vice President Palin will mesmerize you with your intelligence. At least, those of you who have a modicum of it. Just watch.
Our country is sorely in need of someone of her character, integetry, morality, and capablity; *unlike* the NoBama, Bye Bye Biden ticket.
Folks, folks, it's called 'reverse psych' with Palin. Make her the underdog with the press and on blogg's and anything she does even marginally well will look fantastic! Don't fall for it. Let's raise the bar for her! Let's all give her kudo's on how well she will do and then let's see if she meets it. Dont' fall for the oldest trick in the book. The build up to this debate with SNL parodies and news pundits claiming it will be a disaster will probably backfire and not because she will do better than marginally, but because of the pundits hoping she will fall flat on her face. There will then be no other way to see it as lots better than it actually is. We are all playing into the Repugnant's hands by continually trashing her BEFORE the debate. They want us to...get it?
I agree that with all of us expecting the worst, when she puts in a simply bad performance come debate night it will look better then expected and possibly boost the ill-informed Republican base's view of her. She will lose the debate but if we're all expecting an implosion of catastrophic extents, her mild implosion will pale in comparison.
Huh?
Oh,, I see!
10. Drafting new legislation to ban birth control as Blasphemy.
9. Meeting with the Taliban to share strategies on developing Morality Police, and new methods of enforcement.
8. Reviewing lists of younger prospective Supreme Court justices that can pass the Senate review by pretending to understand the Constitution the meaning of Human Rights.
7. Drafting her next speech to be given on Fox News.
6. Spending long hours in seclusion preparing even more Gotcha, Evil Doer, Journalists questions.
5 Practicing with her Speech Coach to say the word,, Nuclear.
4. Committing to even more time with the same Speech Coach to not sound Canadian.
3. Learning why Ben Franklin is on our money and was never really a President and how Susan B. Anthony got there too.
2. Discovering that counting by 2s is Binary and equating it to the story of Noah showing that Computers and Gods wisdoms share common origins.
1. Preparing for Global Thermal Nuclear War and the Rapture when the other 5.8 bullions of us,, will be OH so sorry.
All the best
Knute Neo-LIB
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