Top 10 Reasons Sarah Palin Cancels the Debate

10. Suspicious Russian tourists spotted across the Bering strait in Dezhnevo

9. Wrasslin' a bear

8. Learns Tina Fey will be watching

7. When taken on tour of White House by McCain handlers, is "inadvertently" locked in Cheney's man-sized safe

6. Schedule for memorizing state capitals thrown off by need for new schedule to memorize states

5. Speechless after finally looking up what "MILF" stands for

4. On deadline to finish her book, Namin' Your Baby the Alaskan Way

3. Needs more time to really nail those hilarious hair-plug zingers

2. No matter how hard she scrubs, she can't get Kissinger's moral stank off of her

1. Stuck in traffic on the Bridge to Nowhere

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Comments

[LAB11]

No. 100: Still looking for those specific things Mac did to "regulate" during his 26 years in the swamp

[RoonToon]

Our cowboy president will rescue the damsel in distress having triggered a series of events that will 'force' W into declaring a 'temporary' state of emergency.

[maidenofdforest]

It is very possible this new strategy is to test the waters on how Palin will fare to prep ratings since the downward spiral. They need to get the numbers up and gauge some sort of expectations.

But, no one has ever thought of the possibility that the McCain campaign will stage a little 'freak accident' on Sarah Palin not to let her go on Thursday's debate.

Possibly...blame the Russians!

[CtJean]

Quite likely - nothing deters these re - pukes

[freedomfighter1]

11. Has to stand in as a makeup artist for John McCain.(hey, who knew the $5,000 chick would quit after MCCain screamed,"More #30! I don't look presidential enough!"

[Yohomegirl]

#? Planning a wedding/baby shower

[Pacojam]

12. Too busy reading the long thank-you note from Dan Quale

13. Not able to unruffle her feathers in time.

14. McCain had a temper tantrum in the green room, physically barring her from going on stage.

[HeevenSteven]

"8. Learns Tina Fey will be watching"

--With the volume turned off.

[RobinSeattle]

"6. Schedule for memorizing state capitals thrown off by need for new schedule to memorize states"

That reminds me of an episode of Married with Children where airheaded Kelly Bundy has to answer some quiz questions on a tv show. She spends the weeks leading up to it cramming for it, but then learns a new fact right before the quiz and it completely messes her up and she loses.

So is that what Palin is? Governor Kelly Bundy? Funny and sad at the same time.

[wingman1]

25. Thrown under the bus by McCain campaign on Monday

[mysterygirl18]

11. Couldn't find the debate's location on the map.

12. Has an ear infection from the microphone that would be used to prompt her during the debate

13. Couldn't find her witch doctor to take along on the trip.

14. being chased by a bunch of wolves who want justice

[MBryant]

21. Furious because Joe Biden's sparring partner Jennifer Granholm finished higher in her beauty contest in San Carlos, CA and is governor of a bigger state. - she was also Phi Beta Kappa - was on the dating game (Sarah always wanted to be on dating game - well there was Todd...) and now she weighs less! (that's the worst part)

22. Amazing - somebody chose Tuesday for Bristol's wedding! I guess sarah will be too busy for debating - can't have a wedding without the mother of the bride!

23. Moose hunting season opens on Tuesday - it's usually another day - but the governor's office picked Tuesday.. annual tradition that - being out for the first day of Moose hunting.

24. Scouting for undisclosed locations with good snowmobiling, hunting and more... Very important Vice President thing to have a good undisclosed location...

[MellowDrama]

11. Vision blurred from not blinking.

12. Witch doctor cast invisibility spell.

13. Bad moose sandwich.

14. Woke up on an undisclosed planet.

[Hawaii4Obama]

15. got lost in "debate camp" on McCain's Arizona property
16. realizes she has brain freeze when she has to pronounce the word "nuclear" (nuculear)
17. designer outfit doesn't fit
18. has visions of "Katie Couric" dancing through her "airspace" and breaks down when anyone smiles while asking her a question
19. can't stop the singing of "Bomb, bomb Iran" no matter how many times she tries to block it
20. doesn't get any sleep the night before because she dreams that Tina Fey shows up instead of her and then realizes it isn't a dream!

[huffingOff]

11.1 Brain thrown into a perpetual state of paralysis due to confusion between the meanings of the terms "blinking" and "thinking"

[normathumb]

McCain's cheap stunt in "suspending" his campaign was an attempt to set up cancelling the VP debate. The ploy was to cancel the first presidential debate and offer to reschedule it in St Louis in stead of the VP debate. They are terrified of what will happen when she opens her mouth. There is no "there"' there and even Republicans are talking out loud about it. She is so far off the cultural grid, they can't pretend anything else. Maybe they are just too weary after all these years of trying to make W look better then stupid.
Of course, McCain didn't do anything like suspend his campaign. He didn't pull any ads. He shuffled his schedule a bit and went to DC pretending to be a leader, adding nothing of substance because he knows about as much about the economy as he knows about brain surgery. It was an attempted photo op, at best. His 'bull in a china shop' intrusion nearly scuttled the whole thing. Did he really think that his presense could be unpolitical? There are no time outs in politics, certainly not this close to an election. He has benn impetuous, impulsive and manipulative in a most ham fisted way.
He is a maverick al right, an old underpowered discontinued heap of rust.

[obamadeus]

Perhaps they'll pretend Bristol has a medical emergency with her baby?

[vulvina]

Palin better learn that if it is a choice between doing something urgently needed by her country, the kid will have to wait.

Are we crazy enough to think Mommyhood comes first? Seriously, someone should pose that question directly to her.

[VoteforPedro]

Todd Plain refuses to miss his nookie night.

Come on censors, it's funny.

[VoteforPedro]

Or Sarah announces that she's pregnant again and morning sickness won't allow her to debate.

[plebeianswillrevolt]

No, that is not funny. Maybe Todd can borrow your burrow. Now that's funny pedrool.

[VoteforPedro]

I beg to differ. It's very funny.