07/04/2009 09:04 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Top Ten Reasons Sarah Palin Resigned

10. Put on red campaign suit, had an unstoppable urge to call a press conference, and, well, had to announce something.

9. Part of careful plan to capture the White House by convincing Americans she's the leading incoherent, out-of-control Republican.

8. She can see crazy from her backyard.

7. That'll show the world McCain made a great choice in picking her! Yeah!

6. Only way to exorcise those awful chain-rattling Ghosts of Machine-Gunned Moose Past.

5. Bridge to Nowhere, meet Leaper.

4. Michael Jackson so needed to be knocked out of first place on Twitter.

3. You don't understand? You'll have to wait for Mark Sanford's next press conference.

2. Face it: Alaska's a dump. [Hey, these are her reasons, not mine!]

1. Desperate bid to be mocked by Tina Fey one last time.