Top Ten Reasons Sarah Palin Resigned

10. Put on red campaign suit, had an unstoppable urge to call a press conference, and, well, had to announce something.

9. Part of careful plan to capture the White House by convincing Americans she's the leading incoherent, out-of-control Republican.

8. She can see crazy from her backyard.

7. That'll show the world McCain made a great choice in picking her! Yeah!

6. Only way to exorcise those awful chain-rattling Ghosts of Machine-Gunned Moose Past.

5. Bridge to Nowhere, meet Leaper.

4. Michael Jackson so needed to be knocked out of first place on Twitter.

3. You don't understand? You'll have to wait for Mark Sanford's next press conference.

2. Face it: Alaska's a dump. [Hey, these are her reasons, not mine!]

1. Desperate bid to be mocked by Tina Fey one last time.

Follow David Weinberger on Twitter: www.twitter.com/dweinberger

Comments

[yuenzzzz]

Excellent list David, I like # the best. Don't know if anyone caught David Letterman's comment in respone to her resigning, but I like to think that he caused her to quit. Anyone can post their own top ten list to our site http://www.toptentopten.com/. The coolest feature is you can let other people vote on the rankings of your list.

[johnnygoodwud]

ah ha,,,,,,,,­,,,accordi­ng to one blog i just read, the windows, trim, flooring in the sports complex are the same that was used in her house. perhaps, they overbilled the sports complex, and gave todd and family free supplies, which were actually billed to the sports complex.

my father and some friends built my childhood home. it took alot longer than 'a couple months'. what i know about construction, a builder would have a tough time finishing a house like palins in a couple months, let along todd and a couple buddies.

something smells fishy in alaska.

[Ozarks]

You left out that she is applying to be an Air line stewardess consistent with Letterman's comments about her dress and attitude

[MikeDu]

I just finished listening to a full hour NPR discussion about Palin's resignation. The funny thing was, the 'experts opinions' sounded no more valid than this top ten list! The Sarah supporters made up 'noble' reasons out of whole cloth in her defense, the Sarah naysayers had their own list of 'venal' reasons. It was interesting that the people who actually covered her a governor tended more towards the 'venal'.

[magecat]

Remind me. How many colleges did she attend before she graduated? It was six I think.

If she elected president, would she drop out if the work was too hard for her?

There are some countries that still hate us.

Opps, there she goes again. Quitting when people disagree with her

[RobinSeattle]

I blame it on the bossa nova.

[OtayPanky]

#1 Reason: Jesus told her the Rapture was coming.

[JamesA1102]

10. Joining the Alaska Independence Party. They promised to make her Queen.

9. Starring in a remake of ‘Dumb & Dumber’ with Elizabeth Hasslebeck.

8. RNC accidently emailed her the speech meant for Mark Sanford.

7. Plotting revenge against Letterman is a full time job.

6. Wanted to knock all the Michael Jackson coverage off of cable news.

5. Premiering this fall: “Regis & Sarah”.

4. Finally decided to study up for the Katie Couric interview.

3. Heard Biden had left the country and is hoping to be considered for the VP job again.

2. Distraught about Al Franken becoming a Senator and just can’t go on.

1. Joining cast of Saturday Night Live as a Tina Fey impersonator.

[valkyrie607]

I like yours better.

[bowthai]

Number 8 is good, although Sanford is looking mighty sane to me after this weekend. And at least he speaks English.

[bdaved]

Taking time off to join O.J. in the search for the real killer.

[MNKen]

I like #9. I would go to see the movie in the theater to watch the right wing-nuts in the seats around me. They would think it was a documentary!

[erinaceus]

Truly funny. #8 and #1 are my favorites. Thanks for sharing your wit.

[har5125]

The number one reason reason yet to come:

Did an embezzlement scandal force Sarah Palin to resign?


http://thinkprogress.org/2009/07/03/palin-hockey-arena-scandal/#comments

http://www.bradblog.com/?p=7280

http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2009-07-03/did-a-scandal-sink-the-uss-palin/?cid=hp:mainpromo2

[greatblue]

Here's our list.

http://vagreatblueheron.wordpress.com/2009/07/04/top-ten-reasons-palin-resigned/

[WayneFrancis]

From my blog at TPM:

Why did Palin quit?

1. She wants to start her own theme park: Sarahwood. The park will feature a rollercoaster with one giant free fall, and a helicopter ride that lets you shoot wolves from a safe distance. Bring the camera for when you reach the top of the Ferris wheel; you can see Russia.

2. She accepted a new, secret mission. And remember, Sarah declared that she was "wired in a way of being so committed to the mission, the mission that we're on, that you can't blink." So this new mission must not be the mission she accepted when she promised Alaska's voters to responsibly govern their state for four years. There must be a more important mission that now requires her attention. Perhaps Ahmadinejad wants a VP?

3. She needs a break. Remember that Sarah is a self-proclaimed "pit bull with lipstick," and pit bulls generally avoid confrontations and challenges.

4. She wants to spread Down syndrome. When, earlier today, Sarah expressed a desire for more "Trigs" in the world, I could not have agreed more, because Down syndrome is just too cute to be reserved for 1 in 800 births.

5. She's tired of being in the media. Sarah needs a break from the intense media spotlight that comes from governing one of the least populated states that sits several hundred miles from the continental US.

More here:

http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/blogs/waynefrancis/

[dessertsfirst]

Wayne, #1 Sarahwood has already been built by her, it is the Wasilla Sports Center that the town really didn't want nor could they afford it.

[akindependent]

Kinda like those fighter jets the pentagon doesn't really want. Maybe she's congressional material.

[Banji81]

LOL. Esp. at # 4. What can I say, that woman's middle name must be Fodder!

[MsYellowDog]

ALASKA AND THE REST OF AMERICA___Message from Sarah Palin: YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME!

[AgnesBankhead]

in light of recent developments
and in anticipation of the Palin's political coronation on Fox News
this 10 minute video, by Harry Hanbury, is definitely worth a second look

SARAH PALIN'S APOCALYPSE

http://americannewsproject.com/videos/anp-investigation-sarah-palins-apocalypse

[loggr1050]

In reference to Sarah Palin - Well I think one, everything became a bit overwhelming. Less than a year ago, no one had heard of her (well I did but that's my job.)So she has had to deal with a lot in the last year -- including giving birth at 44 yrs old to a special needs child. One of the biggest issues, is the absolute baseless ethics charges against her for misusing state funds. She as done more to clean up wasteful spending, cut her own travel budget by two thirds and they sent her through this litigation that put her hundreds of thousands of dollars in personal debt to defend herself. Absolute outrage. Frankly, when she called politics no longer public service but a blood sport, she's not kidding. I think she wants to get out of the craziness, and make money to pay off the debt and support her family. Good for her. And screw those people up the %*# for putting personal hatred of her above the public good. I hope they get theirs in the end - big time.

[valkyrie607]

She couldn't take the heat--thank goodness she's getting out of the kitchen.

People who defend her baffle me. She brought it on herself.

[JRsNana]

RUFKM? Palin-lovers just crack me up. They listen to things come out of her mouth and then they spew them out as if they were the actual truth. Your first few sentences actually made sense. She did indeed have a lot on her plate when she was introduced to the lower 48. She really should have thought of that before she stepped into the national spotlight don't you think? She was completely ignorant if she didn't think all her vindicitiveness and retaliatory incidents wouldn't come out in her situation. She felt able to put her personal hatred of Barack Obama on display in front of thousands of people every single day during the campaign, going so far as to rile up her right-wing sheeple to screaming "kill him" and "terrorist". Why then are people crucified by people like you for not liking that she did so? She can dish it out but most certainly cannot take it and if she's that thin-skinned then she should DEFINITELY not be in politics. The "craziness" belongs to her. And other people are raising the money to pay off her debt. What's her f*&^ing problem NOW?

[sabrinatee]

Best quote: "putting personal hatred of her above the public good." So, by that logic, if we don't hate her, our lives will somehow get *better?* What if we only really really dislike her? How about those who are indifferent to her? Will they suffer and "get theirs in the end - big time" too?

Palin's Bizarro World, indeed.

[realitychecks]

Loggr,hmmm­m......you­r wood is getting in the way of REALITY

[Lolly]

So, I assume you were outraged at the 75 million wasted on the endless search to find something-­-anything-­-on the Clinton's?

[mlaiuppa]

0. Needs to beat Michelle Bachmann for Republican Whackjob of the Year, also too.