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David Weiner

David Weiner

Posted February 3, 2009 | 07:08 PM (EST)

Star Trek Cologne: The Next Generation of Nerdom


As Hollywood has co-opted (and arguably corrupted) so much of the geek canon in recent years, the line between true-nerd and faux-nerd has become blurred to the point of illegibility. Throw in the rise of Hipsters -- many of whom were geeks or "misunderstood" in high school -- as the new coxswains of culture, and you've got yourself an upside down world that would make any member of Lambda Lambda Lambda proud (or disgusted, depending on their nerd pride).

The mass excitement for the new Star Trek movie originally looked to be yet another strike against nerd sanctity, after all it stars multiple up-and-coming Hollywood hotties and is being helmed by the king of Hollywood/nerd crossover, JJ Abrams. Could Star Trek, essentially the definition of nerd interests, really go completely mainstream? Would the film, like so many superhero and comic book ones, be taken seriously not only by its niche demographic but the world at large? Would it finally be cool again for kids to go as members of Star Fleet for Halloween?

For all three, the answer still remains, "perhaps." But for those hardcore Star Trek fans fearing the loss of their identity (a fear that we'll go the way of the Borg and lose all individuality and personal interests), allow me to introduce Star Trek cologne.

Oh yes. GenkiWear is apparently developing three Star Trek-themed fragrances to be released in the spring. For those looking to engage another carbon-based lifeform and boldly go where -- nah, forget it, I'm not going to sit here and use lame Star Trek lines as tired sexual euphemisms. I'm above that. So I'll just say that true nerds can rejoice in their complete devotion to one of the world's nerdiest creations as they spray some "Tiberius" on their wrists. I just hope nobody seriously thinks a scent called "Pon Farr" or "Red Shirt" will help them beam a chick off the bridge and into their bed (it was just too easy!).