Dick Cheney: Could the Worst Vice President Ever Become the Best American Idol Judge Ever?

I don't watch American Idol. You'd be surprised how much time it frees up -- like almost enough for an actual life. Not that my hands are completely clean, America -- I confess that I was Taylor Hicks' ghostwriter. That book was called "Heart Full of Soul" -- not to be confused with Soul on Fire by Eldridge Cleaver who I believe led a slightly different Soul Patrol.

Still try as you might, you can't avoid Idol entirely. For instance, I just read that the ratings for the show have been down. I also heard that there was some debate raging about whether Kara DioGuardi will return as the fourth judge. I have absolutely nothing against Kara -- I quite enjoy some of her work as a songwriter and have seen enough to definitively declare that she is, in fact, way hot. But all this overheard Idol news got me thinking: what fourth judge could American Idol possibly add that might bring something really new and exciting to the party?

My choice: Dick Cheney. Could the worst Vice President ever become the best "American Idol" judge ever? Imagine introducing waterboarding and other forms of morally responsible torture to the American Idol rundown -- and not just for the "talent," mind you, but for the other judges and Ryan too. Just think about what introducing the element of danger and a dash of outright sadism might would do to kick things up a notch? Sure, Dick's WAY out of the demo, but he sure seems to be on TV a lot these days anyway.

So I've my choice, America. Now it's time for you to make yours. And here's hoping that it's not to late for American Idol: Guantanamo Bay Week.

Comments

[oldschoololdsoul]

The only good that could come of this is that it might open the door for masculine males to be allowed on the show.

[David Wild - Huffpost Blogger]

I've never met one of these "masculine males," but they sound intriguing

[Della Lee]

I refused to watch ANY show on which Dick Cheney appears. Eight years of him and W was anough for en antire lifetime.

[David Wild - Huffpost Blogger]

You have a point -- I can't believe they got a second season -- much less a second term.

[aznurse]

Great Idea!! When someone is really terrible he can put on a red checkered hunting hat and slowly reach under the desk. When they're just lousy he can just glare at them and not speak. If they strike his fancy, he can just do that wheezy, snorty chuckle and give them a billion dollar contract.

[David Wild - Huffpost Blogger]

Now that's good television!

[Milash]

Isn't watching American Idol torture enough?

[David Wild - Huffpost Blogger]

You make a fine point

[ragz2008]

Maybe he should be a contestant. When Simon is through with him, he'll be weeping like a little baby...

[David Wild - Huffpost Blogger]

Agreed

[andybear3]

yes he could, and i am trying to get a public party in a park in every big city, on a sunday after church lets out of...the local police putting on a display with their cops of torture..t­hen all kids and church goers could decide if their city could be submitted to Dick for review on American idol..