I would like to take the opportunity to claim that I wrote Coldplay's "Viva La Vida." In fact, I wrote "Viva La Vida" just about an hour ago after hearing the news that my pal Yusuf -- the artist formerly known as Cat Stevens -- feels that the undeniable Coldplay smash is too close for comfort to one section of his "Foreigner Suite" from his 1973 album "The Foreigner."
So to be honest here, I'm not exactly sure if I actually stole "Viva La Vida" from Coldplay, from Cat Stevens, from Joe Satriani or from some obscure band called the Creaky Boards who actually called their version of our collective hit "The Songs I Didn't Write."
But rather than waste any time haggling and trying to figure out who's actually right here, let me make a very modest proposal to keep get this peace train back on the rails. Why don't we all just split the royalties for "Viva La Vida" equally among the five of us? It's only fair, right?
Heck, because the stock market went up today, I'll sweeten the pot a little and declare right here in the Huffington Post that if Coldplay agrees to my plan by midnight Friday night, I will personally treat the entire extended "Viva La Vida" writing team to dinner at a participating Red Lobster to be mutually agreed upon -- assuming someone can spot me an advance on my royalties.
"Viva La Vida" indeed!