Sending Off Somebody's Brother -- Thoughts from Backstage at the Staples Center

I come from the world of journalism, but in recent years I've fallen into television and I can't get up. But when my friend Ken Ehrlich, who I've worked with on the Grammy Awards for many years, called and asked me to help put together today's Michael Jackson Memorial at the Staples Center along with Kenny Ortega, Randy Phillips and first and foremost the Jackson family, I had absolutely no idea what to expect -- which was okay because too often in television you know exactly what to expect, and you end up being right.

I had spent the previous few days helping Rolling Stone with the special Michael Jackson tribute issue that just came out. Speaking to Stevie Wonder, Smokey Robinson, Lionel Richie and yes, Donny Osmond on behalf of the magazine reminded me of something that journalism often makes us forget: that there are actual people on the other side of what we write about and what we do. Imperfect and even deeply flawed people, sure -- do you know any other kind? All of these men knew Michael, and they loved him not as a king but as a man.

But spending some time these past few days with Michael's brother Randy Jackson and the other Jacksons really brought home the truth of this very human experience to me. See I have an older brother too, and together this year we buried our beloved father. My loss didn't make headlines, but he was my first idol -- our personal King of Pop.

Unlike celebrity, death is real. Celebrity -- which Michael Jackson experienced in its purest and perhaps most dangerous form -- may be the dominant religion of our times, but it is one that openly sells false gods and offers little lasting solace. Celebrity helps sell lots of magazines and commercial time, but celebrity does not trump blood. Michael Jackson was not just a great artist. He was somebody's brother, and as such, he deserved a proper send-off.

Comments

[Parsifals]

Thanks for reminding us of our humanness and filial attachments. I hope that in the case of Michael Jackson's back story less is more and his children are spared some of the "need to know" headlines.

[josephXY]

It is a topic that would merit some sort of media history. The way media is dealing with such
topics over a period of time. It was not always so.
Unrelated to Michael Jackson the British Guardian ran an article some time ago about how
different newspapers were in 1984. A surprising comparison. They didn't have these angry finger -
jabbers, no commentariat, none of this hysteria, none of these failed pundits. They were much calmer.
"So much news but so little comment"
http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2009/may/18/newspaper-industry

[puzzle49]

Expressing your love for someone should be done while they are LIVING - you shouldn't wait until someone is DEAD - it is toooo late for the person who has died. Maybe if all of you and us had expressed the same things while Michael was alive, he might not be dead today.

MEMORIALS ARE FOR THE LIVING - NOT THE DEAD.

Michael Jackson died ALONE - and evidently was in a good deal of personal pain. While we may admire all the fame and wealth, it seems that the glitterati lead miserable lives that most of us can't imagine. Monroe, Ledger, Presley and now Jackson - all died alone and because of abusing medications / drugs. They were abusing medications / drugs because they couldn't sleep / too much pain, etc.

I hope that Michael is now at peace. He worked from the time he was a child, was verbally abused by his father and used by his father for financial / personal gain. His father was still hawking his business shortly after Michael's death. Evidently, Michael was surrounded by people who used him for their own financial / personal gain and he was very much aware of it.

My heart breaks for Michael - even in death.

[IndyReader]

Did they really have a Christian service for this avowed Jehovah's Witness?

[puzzle49]

What difference does religious affiliation make at this point ?

[TooKim]

The Jackson Family are music industry/e­ntertainme­nt Royalty (to the public) and have been for decades! They conducted themselves no less on that day. It was a flawless event for the public and fans around the world. The spirit of the event was never loss to celebrity or fanfare.Our heartfelt sympathy to the Jackson Family for their personal loss. Thank you for the dignified service you shared with the world of your love one Michael Jackson. God bless you.

[TooKim]

Good article! What a dignified Memorial it was. All who had hands on planning Mr. Jackson's public farewell get an A+ for excellence, class, integrity, good judgement & execution. Everything was perfect with the exception of Mariah Carey's attire. Quite inappropriate for a morning event to wear to a funeral in front of the Jackson matriarch & children. The service following was done in such good taste that you forgot how shocked and disgusted you were at Mrs. Nick Cannon's attire. Every detail was thoughtful, respectful and didn't lose sight that this was not only an "event" for a world famous celebrity, but a member of a family that loved him (A son, brother & father). Producer Ken Ehrlich, The Jacksons, all involved did an absolutely superb job!!! This presentation elevated so very, very high above that awful, downright embarassing BET Award segment honoring Michael Jackson. The church mirrors, music selections, brothers escorting the casket to the seating of family, friends (personal, professional & guests) ; the Jackson Patriarch and brothers humbly greeting & embracing speakers & singers; CLASS! CLASS! CLASS! That added a human/personal touch showing a family that cares!!! Whatever they do in their personal life they have publicly represented their family with honor & style. They gave their SUPERSTAR family member a dignified farewell just as I hoped a celebrity family of their status would.

[hollybork]

Well written, David. The Jackson "Memorial" yesterday was tasteful and had enough really high calibre performances to reward viewers whether fans of Michael or not. The testimonials were tasteful, fine and seemed heart felt.

I agree with you that there is a understandable desire to lionize the deceased on the eve of his burial, when his family is gathered around him and is grieving. That is humane and understandable.

What I am tired of is the excessiveness of the coverage. How to explain this? So much of it is sordid and seedy. Apparently the bizarre angles beg to be covered - sex and sexlessness, family both real and synthesized, law, business, entertainment, pop history, drug laws and drug abuses, affect of various drugs, chronic illness, surrogate parenting - the list goes on. The Jackson saga gives every news room 1000 ideas to follow. They tumble around us like bits of construction debris in a hurricane, and how to make anything of them. The press descends into a king of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, retreating with glee from its sober news responsibilties like indulgence on summer vacation. The fact gathering falls away, replaced by a continuing drivel of hyperbole, extenuation, innuedo, extrapolation, speculation and navel gazing. This is necessary why?

I will be glad when the media comes to its senses

[kathy001]

Thank you for sharing this lovely, human thought with us. It's very nice to see someone write about Michael Jackson, the human being, instead of the performer or the celebrity.

[lilguy]

I too, was offended, by the sensationalyzing. The new shocking details of his Death. Thank you,(NOT) Anderson Cooper. The story wasnt even new. I will wait for the coroners report. That way I will know,that I am getting the truth, and not tabloid foder from someone who wont even reveal their name, or, their authority to speak on the subject!

[Jennifer Jones 1]

Thank you for the work you and the family did to put this service together. Today on Huff Post several others have leaped to their usual perch to judge M.J as a monster, as someone that should only be remembered for whatever accusation he faced or for their judgment of him as weird. It is amazing that there are people that can not reconcile that Michael Jackson was never one thing, he was many. He was a humanitarian but also a troubled soul, who isn't?

I was deeply touched by the memorial because it was obvious to anyone that a lot of thought and love went into the service. It wasn't a gaudy showcase for other musicians. It was a classy and fitting send off for a father, brother and friend. The critics want his friends and family to basically spit on his coffin and call him a freak, they want all of us to see M.J as some monster. It's revolving to read the articls that have been posted on this site by "journalists" and "celeb bloggers like Steven Webber that seem to think it's impossible to honor the good and bad of someone. We're all aware of Michale's complex life and legacy. But the memorial wasn't re-writing history, it was a display of love and much diserved repsect for another human being.

[murly]

Mr. Wild, thank you for this article and for your part in putting together the memorial. I was worried that it would come off as commercial and pandering, but it was sincerely beautiful. I cried a lot and laughed a little (Brooke and Michael accidently spying on a sleeping Elizabeth Taylor, Magic Johnson eating KFC with Michael, Marlon recognizing a disguised Michael in a record store) and marvelled at the wonderful songs and videos that Michael left for us. He was a talent like no other whose loss has left a hole in the world. My deepest sympathies to his parents, his siblings, and especially his beautiful children.

[msdarrla]

The Michael Jackson memorial was beautiful. I watched it with some good friends and there were many tears. I re-watched it last night to enjoy the tributes one more time. Thank you and Mr Ortega & Mr Ehrlich for a wonderful celebration of his life.

[sueno]

Well said
and a great job done,
thanks......

[Emerald1943]

I just wish that after that beautiful memorial service, we could let MJ rest in peace now. But this morning, on CNN, "shocking new details" about his death are being aired. It seems that when the MSM reports on Michael, there are ALWAYS "shocking new details". The cult of celebrity is just to tantalizing to be put away! They gotta' get those ratings!

MJ was certainly eccentric but he became fodder for the tabloids. I am sorry that his family, especially the children, will be exposed to every "detail" ad nauseum! Let's remember Michael and the joy he brought to so many...and leave off the rest.

[SunnyDay]

My sentiments exactly. CNN is no longer a news station but rather some sort of tabloid milking celebrity doings every night over and over. I feel like poor Michael Jackson, the man, is being ripped to scredds in front of our eyes by those who continue to exploit. I fear that his poor children will be hounded by the poparatsy until they have to go live in isolation somewhere. As his brother said "maybe now they'll leave you alone" but I fear not. There are too many people still hanging on his shirt tails. Why would anyone want to be famous anymore?

[702diva]

If you think CNN is bad (which they are), steer clear of MSNBC, Faux News, and HLN. Those "news station" coverage of MJ has been 10 times worse!

Look at it this way, CNN, MSNBC, etc. now have a VESTED interest in continuing the Wacko Jacko Storyline that they help create. They are going to be working feverishly to rescue their scandalizing reputations from the trash heaps were they belong; because (unfortunately for them) EVERY person who gets in front of a microphone with ANYTHING to say about Michael Jackson had nothing but positive things to say about this great man.

Thus, these "news stations" now have to prove that their so-called reporting and opinions were right about Michael jackson and all the glowing, kind, and positive things said about Michael by his family, friends and fans were wrong.

One thing's for sure, it's going to be interesting watching them twist themselves into knots to get around all the lies, misleading innuendo and inaccuracies that they have pushed about Michael.

[miranda2060]

It was a fine and fitting tribute, very moving.