3 Reasons Hollywood Is For Dreaming - Not For Dating

04/07/2015 05:02 pm ET | Updated Jun 06, 2015

A friend and I were talking this morning. He'd set up a date a couple weeks back and I was curious about where they were going but he told me, "It's going to be tomorrow night instead. She texted me a reschedule."

Isn't that always the way it goes in Los Angeles?

He looked at me, laughed and said, "Now I realize why we didn't connect in the first place. She kept rescheduling."

If any of you are dreaming about moving to the warm, beautiful sunshine of Los Angeles, filled with homes that look like movie sets, people that look like international models and summers that never end, think again.

1. L.A. is A Shark Tank

I want to warn you the dating pool in Los Angeles is literally a shark tank.

The flaking, out here is unbelievable. Boy meets girl, boy texts girl, girl texts boy back, three weeks later, at 1:51pm, they finally meet for a date. Doesn't sound like any of the romance movies you've seen, does it?

When you finally go on the date, three weeks and a day later, you have no idea why the hell you're sitting across from them, other than the fact that they're nice to look at. The magic was once there has been replaced by all of frustration it took to get together in the first place. Everybody in Los Angeles has an agenda, a schedule, and it shows up in dating like never before.

Just to have a phone call in Los Angeles is ridiculous.

Boy meets girl, girl meets boy, girl wants the boy to talk, to be on Tinder or something else, three weeks and one day later, they have a phone conversation. Three weeks. That's the average. So why is it so hard to get a date, a good date, in Los Angeles?

2. The Culture is Vanity and Narcissism

So many people are here to find themselves. Whatever that means. They came to LA to be a star, (movies, music, anything really), now they are the star of their own world. Yoga, spin, gym, shrink (or life coach), massage... repeat.

Sounds great for a vacation but as a lifestyle... it has created a culture of narcissism. People spend millions to fix every imperfection. They obsess over their wardrobe. Men and women a like spend more time, money, and effort on having the right look than developing as a human being.

Sure, everyone wants to have a beautiful person on his or her arm. Everyone wants to be beautiful. The pursuit of beauty is nothing to be ashamed of, but letting it rule every aspect of your life makes you boring.

Have you ever tried to hold a conversation with someone who only thinks about his or her looks? It's not fun and there's no way you could date them seriously.

3. Availability and Proximity

Hollywood is a work-obsessed town.

People move from all over the world to this spot to compete for a limited number of jobs. Everyone wants to be in the entertainment business, a producer, a director, a writer...

This isn't an exaggeration it's real life. It's so difficult, everyone is always off to another job, with a different schedule, it's insane. Then there's location. No matter where you live, unless you're dating your next door neighbor, they're geographically challenged.

Just to get from the beach of Marina Del Ray to the other side of Lincoln sometimes can take 15 minutes. Look at the distance on the map. Everything here is frustrating. Driving here is frustrating, no matter what time of day it is. You think you've seen traffic before, but I promise you it doesn't compare to driving in Los Angeles.

Then factor in the 'genius' skateboarders that skate in the middle of the road. Bicyclists that think they're cars, and take up the entire road. Gigantic SUV's making illegal U-turns anywhere and everywhere.

And of course... nobody uses a blinker. Ever.

In Los Angeles when you buy a car at any LA car dealership, you can get $1,000 dollars off the sticker price by getting rid of the directional signals. It's an option in Los Angeles. Check it out when you go buy a car.

There's so many variables here making dating a complete nightmare. I remember when I was actively dating, finding someone I liked, and then not going out with her for weeks. I couldn't even remember the ridiculous excuses they gave me. The excuses are unreal here.

In most of the civilized world cancellation policy is a 24-hour window before you get charged. In Los Angeles, flaking on a date is a 24 second window. You're allowed to cancel 24 seconds before the date is supposed to start.

If you're coming to L.A. for work, welcome. If you're coming looking for love I'd think you better move on. To find out how and WHERE to find true love, head over to