THE BLOG

3 Reasons Why Dating Is a Nightmare

03/26/2015 06:37 pm ET | Updated May 26, 2015
Martin Barraud via Getty Images

I want to bring you back to the good old days. Let me take you back to the days when men had enough nerve to approach a woman. Men had the courage to think of something clever, walk over to a woman, and flirt with her in the middle of the day.

Women were open to adventure and dating guys they didn't know. Remember, this was before Google.

Men and women exchange phone numbers, and what happens next is that the man is forced to call a woman on the phone.

He has to talk to her, communicate with her. No shortcuts. No texting or emailing or anything. They decide on a date. Women used to get dressed up, and were happy to do it. In the good old days, to get into a relationship with a suitable partner seemed an impossible task unless you had model good looks or a large bank account.

Nowadays our endless amount of choices, make us feel like there's so many options, we can't even commit to a date. We're always looking for the next best thing. Today's society is as confused as ever.

Choice is just an illusion.

1. Online dating is A Paradox of Choice

You can swipe for a date on Tinder. You can be matched via Hinge. You can go to OK Cupid, match.com, or any one of the other sites and find a million different people who could be the one. You could be flirting with five to 10 different people at a time.

But in reality, that's just the paradox of choice; you think you have a choice you usually end up picking the wrong person to date. You finally make a decision because you want to date. You accept the person that's right there at the moment.

In the future don't give into the pressure of choice. There's no rule against dating multiple people at the same time. Soon the right person will reveal themself to you. You wont have to make a decision, you'll just know.

2. The Bigger Better Deal

We believe we have options and get caught up in the bigger better deal of dating. We're constantly looking for a better-looking, more successful, person. It's not enough to have a funny guy you want the funniest guy. You want the guy who makes the most money. You want a better boyfriend than your girlfriend's boyfriend.

You're letting great people go because you think someone better is going to fall into your lap. This is where the paradox of choice screws you up. We don't have much choice. At the end of the day, the majority of people that reach out to us online are people that we would have never ever met in the first place.

They're people that we shouldn't even be cross-pollinating with. They're not even people that we should be dating, and most people have trouble choosing because the options are limitless.

3. Choices Make Getting to the Date Complicated

Trying to figure out whom we should choose, of all the potential suitors we should date, and then we end up having no time to go out on a date. We're constantly inundated with messages. When we do go out on a date, we're curious if somebody better is in our inbox. So we're constantly being bombarded by mixed messages.

When we meet somebody really great we might blow it because we have so many other potential choices. Men and women are doing it left and right. We've become a society that can't make decisions.

Just like in marketing and advertising we're constantly getting messages. Whenever you watch TV there are commercials trying to convince you to buy products you don't need.

Pop up adds. There are ads on the side of your Facebook page. This is where it gets confusing. In online dating there are messages coming at us nonstop. How can we possibly pick somebody great when we're constantly having another message thrown our way?

I strongly suggest you pick one of the ways to meet people and stick with it. Become more social, flirt, out and about, decide one dating site is enough. Also start meeting some of the people that actually intrigue you right away. In dating, just like in life, momentum is everything.

The longer you wait to meet somebody the more choices that comes in. The more choices you have, the more the illusion there's better people out there, clouds your thinking. Don't give into the lie. Meet people around you. Narrow your field of view and pick a date.

Boy finding love has gotten complicated, hasn't it?