During a relationship -- be it with a man or a woman, your husband or your wife or your brother, your sister, your mother, your father -- there are three things you can do every single day that will save the relationship from impending doom.
These are three simple things. So simple in fact that we forget to do them. We did these things effortlessly in the beginning, when we were pursuing a romantic relationship. Like I said, this will work in any relationship but let's stick with the romantic side of things first.
1. Tell Your Partner Three Things You Love About Them
I was watching a movie and I believe in any movie, you could pick up something that will really help you in your life. Movies are designed that way to inspire, to help you connect better to yourself and to give you hope.
It was a dumb movie, some Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymore or Jennifer Aniston thing; can't even remember the name of it. But there was this scene, where Nicole Kidman and her husband, Dave Matthews, were talking about their relationship. Nicole Kidman went up to Jennifer Aniston's character and said:
"I love my husband, and the reason why we have such a great relationship because every day we make sure we tell each other three things that we admire about each other, three things that make us happy about being around the other person."
2. Stop Focusing on the Negative
Relationships, when conflict is present, tend to go on these out of control spirals, where we're constantly nagging. We complain we're not getting our needs and desires met. We're constantly angry with the other person, picking fights, instead of appreciating the other person.
I want you to think about this. In life, you get more with sugar and honey than you do with anger and venom. We all come with baggage. There is no perfect person. There is no one who doesn't come with negatives, including you.
In the beginning of your relationship you were willing to forgive every little thing your partner did that annoyed you. You ignored it because what they were bringing to table was so much better.
If you want to keep your relationship strong and healthy you have to let go of the idea that your partner will change. Your partner will change, but in ways that'll surprise you. They'll change in ways that are not convenient for you and your relationship.
Accept your partner's baggage and pray they accept yours. It's the only way your relationships will survive.
3. Be More Physical in Your Love
I'm not talking about sex. Sex is vital to a healthy relationship, but when sex is gone we feel it instantly. A lack of sex is a giant red flag that things are not right. Today we're talking about the little things. The kind of physicality I'm talking about is snuggling and hugging. Touching.
Once we get settled into a serious relationship often there are less hugs, less I love you, less holding hands. We tend to think of these traits, as puppy love deemed appropriate for high school students with crushes, but they're the foundation to any healthy relationship.
Touch can be healing. Touch can be soothing. Touch let's your partner know you missed them. It tells them you were thinking about them while they were away. It's a simple, silent way to assure your partner you love them and you are here for them.
There you have it -- three things you can do every single day to make sure that your relationship works. Tell your partner the three things that you love about them that day, show them your love through physical touch, and forget about the negatives.
It works like magic.
Think about how you feel when you receive a compliment. It's a reminder of how special you are. All of a sudden, all the things that you thought were bad aren't as bad as they seemed.
More at DavidWygant.com