I was reading online yesterday that Sandra Bullock, America's new darling and Oscar winning star of The Blind Side, has been cheated on by her husband Jesse James. Apparently Jesse James (who I still think has the coolest name in the world) had an eleven month affair while she was on the set of The Blind Side.
It's funny. I read the article out loud to my girlfriend. Her response was, "Ugh, he's unbelievable! What an idiot to have cheated on her. What a fool. With all the money they have, he could've gone back and forth and visited her on the set."
It is so interesting that when a story like this breaks, that women will immediately unleash their claws and say something like, "How could he do this? How could he ruin the marriage like that?" In a cheating situation, women immediately will blame the man. Men will just kind of shrug their shoulders and say absolutely nothing.
Did you know more married women cheat than married men? So why do women blame the man immediately upon hearing a story like this? Do we know what's going on behind-the-scenes in their sex life?
We have no idea what their intimacy was like before and during the time he cheated on her. Maybe she's awful in bed. Maybe she has intimacy issues. Maybe she is not a loving person. Maybe despite the fact that they talked a thousand times, she never opened up to him so he went elsewhere.
Who knows what was going on in their relationship that led to Jesse James' infidelity? People cheat for so many different reasons besides just sex. When a woman hears that a man cheated, though, she automatically assumes it was all about sex and that the man just couldn't get enough sex. Women assume that the man just did everything wrong.
In reality, men cheat for the same reasons that women cheat. They cheat for emotional reasons and physical reasons. There are a lot of reason that people cheat other than that they were not getting sex at home.
So the next time you hear that a man is cheating on a woman, consider that there are two sides to every story before you jump to conclusions and put 100% of the blame on the man. For every man who cheats on a woman, there is a woman out there who is emotionally or physically unavailable to a man. Maybe a woman is totally about her kids and is not at all about her man anymore. Who knows?
The next time you jump to the conclusion that all men are sleaze because you hear about a guy cheating on his woman, realize that there are two people involved in that relationship. Those two people are probably disconnected in so many ways.
If someone is happy, they are not cheating. And happiness is something that is created by both people in a relationship. No matter whether it's the man or the woman in a relationship who cheats, it is the person who is lacking something in that relationship who will cheat first. A person in a great relationship - full of love, sex and great conversation -- is not going anywhere and is not cheating.
So when we hear about cheating in a relationship, let's stop automatically blaming the man and thinking that the poor defenseless woman has nothing to do with it. The truth is that she was half the cause of it.
When a woman cheats on a man, do we think "Ugh, women just can't keep their pants on!" No, we don't say that. We just think that there must have been something really wrong in the relationship.
You always hear about a double standard when it comes to sex. It seems to me, however, that there is a double standard when it comes to cheating. When it comes to cheating, whenever a man cheats it is always his fault. Think about it, and take a look at what other double standards you may have in life and how you judge people because of them.