I rarely flip on the television during the day. I had a bad night's sleep the other night and needed a break from work though, so I sat down to watch television in the middle of the afternoon.
As I was flipping through the channels, I reacquainted myself with the beauty of daytime television. I remember being addicted to General Hospital when I was in high school and college. I remember Luke, Laura, Robert Scorpio and all the amazing things about Port Charles.
So after flipping through the channels, I ended up watching Oprah. She was interviewing Jenny McCarthy, someone whom I don't know a lot about other than that she has an autistic kid and that she's always been super hot.
As I was listening to the interview, Jenny McCarthy said something really interesting. Oprah asked Jenny McCarthy why she broke up with Jim Carey. Now there are rumors that Jim Carey is depressed among other things, but those were not the reasons she said she broke up with him. She looked at Oprah point blank and said that the relationship stopped being fun.
It stopped being fun. When I heard her say that, it really triggered something inside of me.
How many of you are still in fun relationships? As far as I'm concerned, I agree with her 100%. If my relationship isn't fun, it's over.
Why do you need to continue to torture one another? Why do you need to stay together for the sake of kids, when two people can't have fun anymore?
How many of you are in relationships that are no longer fun? How many of you are just staying together because you think the kids need you together?
In reality, kids always know when people aren't having fun because they are good at reading non-verbal body language. They see two parents sitting in a restaurant, not smiling and not talking. The kid isn't talking either. What do you think he's doing? He's evaluating what is going on between his parents, and he knows deep down his parents don't enjoy each other anymore.
I'm a product of a divorced home, and I knew my mom and my dad had issues the whole time I was growing up. I remember my mom used to say, "Kids, we're going upstairs." Three minutes later, the door would be open after they had some quick sex.
I knew they weren't connected because I felt it and I saw it. When the door would open, my dad would go on one side of the bed while my mom would be in the bathroom washing up. There was no feeling, no passion, no touching -- nothing ever between them.
We have one shot in life. I truly believe that you need to do things that you enjoy. You need to do things that you love.
You need to be an active participant in your life. You should not be a slave to your life.
You should not be a slave to your children. Your children should not run, manipulate or control your life.
When you stay in a relationship that is not fun anymore, you are just staying in something that is eventually going to blow up. You don't need to be a slave to your significant other -- being at their beck and call. That is really not fun.
Life is short. Life can end at any moment.
With that being the case, why are so many of us so stuck in mediocrity? Why are so many of us stuck not having fun and living this way?
I've had a really amazing life. I've had a lot of fun, and I agree with what Jenny McCarthy says. Whenever I have stopped having fun in relationships, I was done. It was over.
Now, I'm sure a lot of you are thinking that I don't know the word "commitment," let alone know what it means. To me, though, commitment was never about staying in hell or staying with someone even if you are miserable.
Now, for all the people who are very religious and don't believe in divorce and so forth, here's what I say to you. This is the 21st century. It's time you stopped believing in old religious practices and old moral standards, and really get an accountability of your own life. Don't blame the church, your parents or anyone else if your relationship isn't working or is no longer fun. The only person to blame for staying in your relationship is you.
Hopefully today's post really got people thinking. I know I'm going to get a lot of comments about all the reasons people HAVE to stay in their current relationships (like kids, finances etc). Those are just excuses.
Life is full of excuses. You can always find an excuse for something, and embrace that excuse until you turn it into a reality.
I'm about living a life that has no excuses and no fear. I am about embracing every challenge and living a fun life.
Does anyone want to join me on this wonderful ride called life? Let me know.
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