05/17/2010 02:33 pm ET Updated Nov 17, 2011

My Love of Cougars

Practically every day online, you see a list in US magazine or People magazine of the "10 Hottest" or "10 Sexiest" women over the age of 40 (or 50). Is it really such a shock that there are hot women over the age of 40 (and 50)?

I mean, I'm in my 40's and must be honest with you. I love to look at women in their 20's. They're cute. They're sexy.

To tell you the truth, though, I have no interest in them. I don't want to relive my past.

I don't want to relive lessons I learned twenty years ago. I don't want to listen to young women's dreams that may or may not happen. I prefer to deal with people who have as much life experience as I have. That's what makes a woman sexy.

So many men in their 40's and 50's spend all their time chasing their youth. They get divorced and all of a sudden they buy a sports car. What do they desire next? They want a young hottie. All they end up looking like is a middle-aged, out-of-shape man with a woman who could be his daughter.

What is it with these men? Why do they so badly want to relive their past?

I loved my past. I loved every moment of my 20's. It was fun. It was disappointing at times. It was terrifying at times. It was amazing.

It was my first foray into adulthood. When I got out of college at age 22, I thought I knew everything. When I dated during that time, I knew nothing. Women played games with me -- liking me one minute and not liking me the next. The women I was with sexually tended to have childhood guilt issues and weren't very free.

As I got older and started meeting and being in relationships with women in my age range, I realized they shared a lot of things with me. Maybe their bodies weren't as tight as a 22 year old's would be. I'll tell you something though. The women I've met over the age of 40 and 50 have been beautiful women inside and out.

Their bodies were amazing because they took care of themselves in such a different way. They weren't relying on their naturally youthful body anymore. They actually created their body and treated it like their temple. They took good care of it.

The women in these age groups were also very responsive emotionally and sexually, because there were no games anymore. They learned their lessons.

So for the men out there who really feel the need to date women 20 years their junior, I would ask them this: Why do you want to relive some of the most painful and difficult life lessons?

After the age of 40, you're at the time of your life when you know yourself. Now that I'm in my 40's, I know who I am and what I want.

Women in my age range are amazing. They're beautiful, and I relate to them. We don't argue over things that I used to argue about ten or fifteen years ago.

For all the men out there who truly want substantially younger women, don't expect to be emotionally satisfied. Don't also expect that dating these young women will help you recapture what you've already missed. The past is the past.

Embrace the women in your age group. I walk around all day long, and I see hundreds of beautiful women over the age of 40. My list of the hottest or sexiest women over the age of 40 for one of those magazines would be hundreds of women long.

When you look at so many women over the age of 40, you not only see beautiful and sexy women on the outside, but you also see amazing women on the inside. You see women who have embraced life's experiences, and with whom you relate to a deep level. So many young women are not ready for a deep connection.

So women, don't get frustrated when you see men in their 40's dating 22-year-old women. Realize that those women will never emotionally satisfy those men.

For you men who only look for beauty on the outside, it is time to start looking deeper. Life goes by really quickly, and by ignoring women over 40 you are missing some of the most beautiful women in the world.

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