I have posted a blog about Tiger Woods cheating on his wife and what I thought about it. I have also posted a blog about Jesse James (who I still think has the coolest cheater name in the world) and what I thought about it. Jesse James is now supposedly following in the footsteps of Tiger Woods and David Duchovny, who followed in the footsteps of former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer.
Jesse James is supposedly going into rehab. He is not going into drug rehab or alcohol rehab. No, he is apparently going into a whole new form of rehab: sex rehab. Sex rehab -- 21 days without sex in a beautiful place on a mountainside (or maybe on the ocean).
Let me tell you something. I live in Los Angeles, and these celebrity rehab places are some of the best places you've ever seen in your entire life. They're beautiful.
Let me ask all of you a question: Have you ever gone on sexual rehab? Say you go on vacation with a bunch of friends. You go out and you are sure you are going to have some great sex, and nothing happens. How many of you have gone with your significant other on what you thought was going to be a really romantic trip, and you ended up fighting the whole time and having no sex?
Aren't these trips going to sex rehab also? If you are on those vacations finding out that sex with your significant other might not be working, then aren't you going through some kind of rehab?
There of course is drug and alcohol rehab (which, by the way, I think are wonderful things). It's funny, though, how in this society we seem to have a rehab for everything. If you sneeze too much, you go to 21 day anti-sneeze rehab. Now we have all these celebrities going to sex rehab.
We especially feel okay to judge celebrities and their sex lives. We think celebrities' lives are ours to judge, because we somehow feel we know them from seeing them on television or the movie screen. In reality, we don't know them. We only know them as the characters they play.
Let's take the example we've all been talking so much about: Jesse James cheating on Sandra Bullock. So many people look at them and think, "How can Jesse James cheat on Sandra Bullock? Doesn't he believe in monogamy?"
Maybe he doesn't. Then again, maybe monogamy isn't even the right way to go. If you go back to the ancient Greeks and the ancient Romans, they were having sex all over the place with multiple partners. Most animals have multiple partners.
As humans, though, we should be monogamous at all times? We should meet someone at 25 years old who should be the only person with whom we have sex for the next 50 years? Monogamy isn't for everyone.
So before we go wanting to send everyone who cheats off to sex rehab, maybe we should consider that the bottom line is that person doesn't believe in monogamy. Maybe they fell in love with the idea of marriage and thought they could be monogamous, but in reality they are someone who can't be monogamous.
As a society, however, we feel the need to judge someone who can't or won't be monogamous. We have decided as a society that monogamy is something we should all be doing. In reality, though, monogamy doesn't work for a lot of people and that's okay. We're not all the same.
We're not all going to like the same things. It would be like everyone in the world driving the same car. Can you imagine how boring it would be if everyone drove a silver Volkswagen Jetta for example? We are not all the same, and that is great.
So with that in mind, we need to stop judging people. We need to stop looking at other people's lives, and making their lives our lives.
The consensus among the public is that Jessie James has a sexual problem. The consensus is that he is a bad person because of his infidelity. The truth may be that he just doesn't believe in monogamy. Now, if that is the case then he should not have gotten married.
Please don't mistake my position that monogamy isn't for anyone as a free pass for adultery. I think that if Jesse James is a person who can't or won't be monogamous, then he should never have entered into a marriage commitment. But if he doesn't believe in monogamy and as an unmarried man decides he wants to have multiple partners throughout his life, that is his prerogative and we shouldn't judge it.
Why do want everyone to be the same? Monogamy does not work for everyone and it never will, so respect that.
If you are someone for whom monogamy doesn't work, be honest with yourself and don't try to change. You are with someone you think is fantastic so you tell yourself you can be monogamous, but you can't. If you convince yourself otherwise, then you are lying and you should never take that other person down that road with you.
Embrace who you are and what you're really all about, and stop judging other people for living life based on who they are and what they are all about. Otherwise, we are all bound for rehab of one kind or another.
I paint too much, so I'm going to paint rehab. I talk too much, so I'm going to talker rehab. I blog way too much, so I'm going to blog rehab. Instead of all this rehab, maybe we need to just start looking deep inside ourselves.
A new "Visit Hollywood 2010" program has launched to celebrate; all the unique attraction that make both visitors and Los Angelenos want to go Hollywood.
Celebrities invite personal scrutiny through discussion of their personal lives, use of twitter, and media contacted interviews.
Rehabs have been promoting themselves since the 50's, and using both psych and non-psych means to promote.
I keep saying ... 60K for 45 days when the only benefit is to learn to be, "accountable." A good therapist will help deal with issues of a deeper nature, privately.