THE BLOG

Single Mothers Are Yummy... If You're the Right Kind of Man

10/19/2010 05:39 pm ET | Updated Nov 17, 2011

Single mothers are yummy. They are, and they deserve love. The thing is, that it really takes a certain kind of man to date a single mother.

Most of the time when you're dating a single mother, you're not the number one thing in her life. Her children are number one in her life.

As men, we always want to be number one in the life of the woman we're dating. It's important, especially in the beginning of a relationship when you're building a foundation, to feel like you are number one in her life.

So let's talk about dating single mothers.

Single mothers have less available time. Technically, you're going to be on her schedule and not yours. So you've got to be very open to working within her schedule if you are going to date a single mother.

You've also have to deal with the single father when you're dating a single mother. He might be that crazy guy who is behind the scenes feeling threatened by you hanging out with his ex-wife and kids.

A lot of single fathers are great fathers, but there are just as many deadbeat dads out there. There are just as many fathers who only show up sometimes and are unreliable.

Sometimes the children themselves are a challenge when you're dating a single mother. A lot of my clients have emailed me in the past, and told me how they fallen in love with a woman but that her kid is a nightmare. The kid challenged them in every situation, and saw every guy who came around as a threat.

You're going to have to befriend the child very slowly, and have a lot of patience. If you like this woman, it is a combination package. The woman comes with the kid, and there is no way around that.

Another thing about dating single mothers is their geographical inflexibility. If you meet a single mother who shares custody with her ex, then she is not going anywhere. If you have a dream of moving anywhere but there, it's not going to happen (at least not with this woman).

So these are things you need to think about before you date a single mother. It's really important.

Another issue is whether she wants more children. Some single mothers will feel like they have already had their share of children, and they don't want anymore.

So if you desire to have children of your own, you may be out of luck if you date a single mother. You can't convince someone to have kids, and it's not your right to convince anyone to do so.

Single mothers are fantastic, but you have to understand all the things that go along with dating them. I personally have tried dating single mothers in the past, and it never worked for me because I found the kids to be too much of a challenge.

I never really wanted to be a step-dad, and I also didn't want to deal with some of the drama that came up with the ex-husbands. Some of those men were not exactly the most well-behaved men in the world.

So before you date a single mother, think about it. There are lots of great ones out there, but you need to see if you're ready for it.