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The Real Los Angeles Nightmare: Dating

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There's nothing worse than getting on the 405 at any time of the day and being stuck in a logjam.

There are times that I've gotten on the ramp that connects the 10 to the 405, and sat there for hours, just to finally get on the 405 and sit in more traffic. Like being in your own not-so-epic movie with no satisfying conclusion.

But the real issue in Los Angeles is not the traffic -- it's the dating.

I've been living in Los Angeles for 14 years, and I have found this city to be one of the most non-committal cities in the entire world.

You meet somebody here on a Wednesday and you get all excited. But by the time Saturday or Sunday rolls around, either they have not called you back, you played an unbelievable amount of text games, or -- the most typical Los Angeles dating scenario -- you can't find the time to meet them.

Time is at a premium here due to the traffic, due to everybody's schedule, due to people being busier than in most cities.

Los Angeles is a town where people love being busy. It's funny. I've traveled the world. Dating is my business. I just spent a couple weeks in London. I actually saw more people in London socially than I do in Los Angeles in a month.

Why?

Well, for one, it's easier. You've got the tube, which makes it fast and simple to get around. But it's really about commitment -- people are more committed to getting to know you than in Los Angeles.

Los Angeles is the most isolated place I've ever lived. I don't even know my neighbors in my building.

People walk down the street here and barely ever say hello.

But especially when it comes down to dating in L.A., nobody wants to make an effort.

For example, let's say you meet somebody interesting. You live in Santa Monica and they live downtown. You want to meet them at 6:30 at night?

Forget about it. You can't because of the traffic. So, you just blow it off. You don't see them. And eventually you forget about them. They may be 10 miles away but that could be four hours.

Los Angeles is one of the loneliest places I've ever lived. There are so many wonderful people living here, with so many different personalities from so many different nationalities.

But unless you live within a one-mile radius of them and you can get to them without pulling your hair out in traffic, you'll never see them.

How do we fix this?

Well, we will never be able to fix the traffic problem in Los Angeles, so let's throw that out. If you meet somebody interesting in Studio City, and you live in Marina Del Rey, you're going to have to make an effort.

And that's what it usually comes down to -- desire, effort.

Think about all the people you've met over the last year. Think about the ones that really intrigued you. And then think about the reasons why you never followed up with them.

Sadly, it's usually a traffic related one. You guys just couldn't find the right time and you didn't want to sit in your car for two hours to meet somebody new and interesting that can actually add to your life.

Another thing was the Los Angeles busy-being-busy thing.

So many people here are chasing dreams, and that takes time.

When I'm in London or New York, everybody there is who he or she is. The stockbroker you meet is really a stockbroker, the banker is a banker, the advertising exec is an ad exec, and the restaurant manager actually manages a restaurant.

In London, it's the same way. People there are focused on who they are.

In Los Angeles, the cop who pulls you over for a ticket actually wants to be an agent. The stockbroker would rather play a stockbroker on the big screen.

The financial planner guy? Well, he loves financial planning, but he is only doing it to network wealthy clients so that he can produce his own movies.

The lure of the entertainment business in this city is very powerful. It is Los Angeles' biggest drug.

Everybody wants a part of it. Deep down, everybody would love to be famous, be on a reality show, be this incredible director, producer, actor, or writer, whatever it might be.

So you have a town full of people who have a job, but then have to go and pursue another job, at night, on the weekends, and during their free times.

Busy.

That is one of the biggest challenges with dating in Los Angeles, is finding somebody who is content with what they do and who they are.

You don't get that in other cities.

I'm tired of the entertainment dream. I am who I am. I am a dating consultant, dating expert/writer, and I love what I do. I'm always open to meeting new people, but it is just so hard to connect in this town because everybody is off in so many different directions. Throw in the worst traffic in the nation, and dating in Los Angeles becomes a challenge.

So with the next cool person you meet, make an effort, see what happens, see if your life changes... See if you meet somebody that absolutely blows you away.

Try it, MAKE AN EFFORT, and see what happens.