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Davis Sweet
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Blog Entries by Davis Sweet

Quit Fuming at the I.R.S.

0 Comments | Posted March 2, 2010 | 11:08 AM

We all know it sucks when the I.R.S. asks you to pony up for the stuff we, as citizens, collectively buy, like roads and armies and bailouts and bridges to nowhere. Makes a fella want to express strong emotions sometimes, and that's generally all right, as long as it stops...

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A Comedy Fan's Review: Pirate Radio

0 Comments | Posted November 15, 2009 | 6:11 PM

You know how sometimes you hear about a film that has so many good ingredients, it can't help but be the best thing since antibodies? Such a flick is Richard Curtis's Pirate Radio (known in its homeland as The Boat that Rocked).

It's very difficult to imagine a better...

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Simple Question for the Past Three Guys in the Big Chair in the White House

0 Comments | Posted March 27, 2009 | 6:13 PM

How do you think your life -- and society in general -- would have benefited if, during your admitted past drug use, you were subject to the same criminal penalties as other Americans?

(Or, if your fig leaf is "I was in England, man!," then replace the last two words...

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Thoughts on Hearing that America has Elected as President a Black Man with an African Name Who Refused to Wallow in the Mud with his Republican Opponents, Busting the Nuts Out of Virtually Every Nugget of Conventional Political Wisdom Around (Part 1 of 9)

0 Comments | Posted November 4, 2008 | 9:57 PM

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA HA HA...

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McCain (possibly stoned): We are not "Arresting the Dead" for Medical Marijuana

0 Comments | Posted October 1, 2007 | 10:38 AM

"Every town hall meeting I have, someone shows up and advocates for medical marijuana, and, by the way, in all due respect, alleges that we are arresting the dead and the dying, and I still have not seen any evidence of that," McCain told his questioner.

Good to know...

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Two Too Many Words

0 Comments | Posted September 14, 2007 | 6:33 PM

HuffPo headline today: "CIA Bans Use Of Water-Boarding During Interrogations"

So, what, now they can only use it during breaks between interrogations?

Ba-dump-bump-gurgle.

(And, yes, I see that at least one commenter beat me to the day's easiest one-liner. C'est la vie.)

I always wondered what different information you'd...

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Product Alert: A Disastrously Defective Bush

0 Comments | Posted January 28, 2007 | 9:57 PM

Dear Consumer,

We understand you have purchased or otherwise received a "George Bush, Commander-in-Chief" model 2.0a ("GB-CIC2.0a" or "Bush"). Recent media reports have brought to our attention several serious flaws in this product, so we are warning all owners to take urgent action to protect themselves and their families.

Potentially...

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Mathematics Extremists Must Become Tolerant

0 Comments | Posted January 8, 2007 | 4:15 PM

The religion of mathematics -- and, yes, it IS a religion -- and its hysterical defenders simply have to back off with their tiny-minded name-calling and embrace tolerance.

I don't do much math myself, but, like the majority of Americans and right-thinking people around the world, I support "moderate" mathematics....

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[DOWNLOAD] James Brown in Concert from NPR

0 Comments | Posted December 25, 2006 | 1:32 PM

From NPR's Live Concert 12/28/2006 show, "James Brown in Concert:"
"The Godfather of Soul reaches into his vast catalog of hit songs for a night of music, recorded live from the 9:30 Club in Washington, D.C."

The Hardest Working Man in Show Business is backed by the Soul...

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A New, New Way Forward in Iraq

0 Comments | Posted December 18, 2006 | 12:36 PM

Now that the decider has decided that a bigger, bloodier nut cluster is better than no nut cluster at all, it's time everybody in America gets behind a victory plan against whoever we're fighting in Iraq. Forget all this namby-pamby wrangling over whether we should add twenty thousand, thirty thousand,...

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Celebrate V-I Day!

0 Comments | Posted December 14, 2006 | 1:51 PM

(Having apparently failed in my attempt to offer myself up as a face-saving scapegoat for the entire Iraq SNAFU, I'm trying a different tack. This one, like the previous, is based on the only reality that the White House accepts: whatever they wish was true. -Dave)

Congratulations Mister Bush...

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Blame Dave

0 Comments | Posted November 24, 2006 | 10:19 PM

As the conventional wisdom on Iraq drifts from "there's no hope" to "there's no fucking hope in hell," it appears that the only thing keeping American troops in the line of fire is George Bush's unwillingness to accept blame for this colossal oopsie. So I have a simple solution...

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The Asshole Factor (Not About O'Reilly, Necessarily)

0 Comments | Posted November 15, 2006 | 4:03 PM

We're seeing a lot of analysis (or "anal-ysis") about the factors that led to last week's boot-up-the-derriere for a (w)hole lot of Republicans. The war, sure. Stem cells and scandals and surprisingly strong Democrats, of course. But I think we're ignoring the smelly elephant in the room: the asshole factor.

...
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Where Are My Manners?

0 Comments | Posted November 13, 2006 | 1:53 PM

In a couple of posts this year, I asked America to "Please, folks, vote these heartless, brainless, dickless pricks out of power."

I neglected, after last week's orderly, bloodless slaughter, to say, "Thank you." My humblest apologies for the oversight.

So, thank you.

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Our Manufactured Outrage Meets Theirs

0 Comments | Posted October 31, 2006 | 10:44 PM

What's the difference between John Kerry and Mark Foley?

Kerry only blew a page in his script.

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Every Review of a Richard Dawkins Book (slightly condensed)

0 Comments | Posted October 24, 2006 | 11:25 AM

The problem with all his logic and evidence and rationality is that he just doesn't understand how good nonsense feels.

Anyway, Bertrand Russell did it first.

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One Voter's Meat is the Same Voter's Poison

0 Comments | Posted October 18, 2006 | 5:03 PM

Brian: "You're all different!"
Crowd, in unison: "Yes! We are all different!"
- Monty Python's Life of Brian

Are we all easily herded suckers? Every political ad thinks so. Each has this message: "good people think X, obviously. The anti-X crowd, obviously, is just bad/stupid/gay." We see these...

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Your Invitation to the Christopher "Smear Man" Shays Sex Ring!

0 Comments | Posted October 13, 2006 | 8:25 PM

Congratulations! Because of your sexiness, you have been chosen to participate in the Connecticut Congressional Representative (!) Christopher Shays Sex Ring. Strip down and put someone's soiled panties over your face as we celebrate sensuality the GOP way!

This month, we're featuring an all-Abu Ghraib (sexy!) theme. Planned...

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Consti2tion

0 Comments | Posted September 29, 2006 | 9:23 PM

Now that the United States, or whatever the new incarnation will be called, has torched its inconvenient constitution specifically to please Osama bin Spookymonster, it'll probably need a new one. Just for looks, since we know constitutions are about as vital to a nation as celebrity memoirs.

The original constitution,...

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The George W. Bush-John McCain Celebration of Human Dignity

0 Comments | Posted September 27, 2006 | 5:45 PM

"This debate is occurring because of the Supreme Court's ruling that said that we must conduct ourselves under the Common Article III of the Geneva Convention. And that Common Article III says that there will be no outrages upon human dignity. It's very vague. What does that mean, 'outrages upon...

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