Daylle Deanna Schwartz

On the subway recently, a man near me rushed to sit when someone got up. I was a little taken aback, as I'm used to men giving up seats to women. Then a man boarding the train made a quick dash to sit down. This change in etiquette was surprising....

We make many bad choices when we're scared of being lonely. When I was a people pleaser, the idea of being alone for any period of time seemed like torture. Since I didn't like myself, I couldn't imagine being happy in just my own company, which drove me to make...

I was a vulnerable, insecure fifteen-year-old when a guy I'll call Marty said, "With your pretty face and hourglass shape, you'd be a knockout if only you lost a little weight." All I heard was that I wasn't good enough because I was too fat. That "if only" message haunted...

A friend who I'll call Brian crashed with me recently. He's been living abroad for a while since his business is handled entirely online and his cost of living is much lower there. He sees me buying things on sale and eating at inexpensive cafes. Knowing I'm a freelance writer...

I was getting coffee at a press briefing about Lung Cancer Profiles when a very familiar voice said, "Hi, I'm Kathy." I knew that actress Kathryn Joosten was scheduled to speak about her experience with lung cancer but was still stunned to see...

I was just talking to a guy about Valentine's Day and was surprised when he said he dreaded February 14th. There was no special woman in his life and he and his buddies would probably drown their sorrows about not having a girlfriend with beer. I was surprised, since I...

Someone had to drag me to a mirror and force me to look at myself to notice I have pretty green eyes -- not hazel, green. I didn't know it, just like I didn't recognize the beautiful smile others commented on. I was twenty-eight years old and didn't value myself...

"You're turning into a bitch," my friend said when I told her she couldn't drop her kids off so she could do errands because I was busy. I was so taken aback by those words that I offered to change my plans to accommodate her. I didn't like being called...

I think I was born with my hand extended, an offering to anyone who needed it. Growing up, my friends and I were taught that the nicer we were, the more people would like us. Since we were all pleasers, it was a more level playing field. We were just...

I admit it. I've exhibited yelling and threatening behavior on the phone with a customer service person. My frustration from dealing with an electronic voice asking me questions while I screamed "representative" into the phone over and over made the person who finally answered the target of my wrath. That...

September 19th was a special day for me, my birthday. While many people spend their birthdays looking wistfully back on the youth they believe they've left behind, I revert to the feelings I had as kid and enjoy myself completely. My attitude is, "Yippee, it's my birthday and I'm gonna...

I can't believe that 10 years have passed since the morning I turned on the radio and heard screaming that a plane just hit the World Trade Center. I got to the TV as the second tower was hit.

My apartment faces south and I saw smoke rising above...

In my last post, Why We Tolerate Jerks, I mentioned my book, All Men Are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise. Not surprisingly, I got questioned about the title being derogatory to men. It's not male bashing. I believe that all women are jerks until proven otherwise too. The...

We're not stupid. We know, at least deep down, when we don't like how someone is treating us. Most of us have been burned at some point and should be more alert to the signs. Yet we often don't learn and allow ourselves to be set up for disappointment again....

Everyone should want to succeed at what they do or say they want, right? After all, isn't that what we strive for? In theory, success is a positive goal, the result of the work you do. Yet it's common to also be scared of success--what will happen if you actually...

I rarely meet someone who is completely happy with his or her body. With the media setting higher and higher standards for perfection as celebrities get more procedures to improve their bodies, it's harder to feel satisfied with what we have.

Like many women, I used to see myself...

I was recently at a motivational event for women. The speaker asked people in the audience to share something special they'd done. One woman said she began to say "no" occasionally. Everyone applauded this feat. Women are known for being overly agreeable. I've encountered many guys who say they also...

Stores have markdown sales in order to move inventory or get rid of products that aren't selling. It's good business sense to do it at appropriate times. But the practice is self-defeating if you reduce your own value. Whether it's for business or pleasure, being a people-pleasing version of nice...

People who consider themselves nice moan, "Why do people use me?" And groan, "Why me?" And whine, "I'll never get what I want because_____." Fill in that blank with, "because I allow myself to be a victim." But this isn't nice! Or satisfying.

Victims blame other people for being...

Many people have misconceptions of what nice behavior is or call themselves nice for the wrong reasons. I want to clear up the most common ones up so that more nice people can finish first. Here are some myths about what nice people should or shouldn't do that aren't true.