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Daylle Deanna Schwartz
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Daylle Deanna Schwartz is a self-empowerment counselor, speaker, and author of 15 books, including Nice Girls Can Finish First and and All Men Are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise. She's also founder of The Self-Love Movement™ through which she's giving her 13th bookHow Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways away for free . Daylle writes the column, Lessons from a Recovering DoorMat. She has been on 500+ TV and radio shows, including Oprah and Good Morning America and quoted in dozens of publications, including The New York Times.

Entries by Daylle Deanna Schwartz

Why Women Need to Stop Punishing Men

(5) Comments | Posted June 18, 2014 | 5:15 PM

Years ago when I was in California, I had dinner with a friend who lived there. Lou sadly shared how miserable he was with his wife, who had evaded intimacy with him for years, by sleeping in a separate bedroom. She wanted nothing to do with Lou, so he was...

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Stop Being a Victim! Take Responsibility

(4) Comments | Posted May 1, 2014 | 6:26 PM

I had a good friend I'll call Tara. When she got a grant to get an advanced degree at a school far from New York, we promised to keep our friendship going long distance. At first, we talked on the phone and emailed a lot. When Tara asked me to...

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Accepting the Reality of People

(4) Comments | Posted March 31, 2014 | 2:23 PM

Many of us complain about people, often the same people over and over for doing the same thing over and over. I used to be the queen of complaining about the kinds of things I often hear from others:

• He takes me for granted.
• I hate that...

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From Stupid to Silly With Self-Love

(4) Comments | Posted January 17, 2014 | 11:00 AM

Do you talk nicely to yourself, like "Way to go!" or "I look great today." Or is your inner dialogue more commonly, "I'm an idiot for that," or "My stomach is disgustingly flabby." We know it's wrong to hurt someone we care about. Yet we do that to ourselves! Do...

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If You Want a Healthy Relationship, Get a Life!

(24) Comments | Posted October 5, 2013 | 1:24 PM

Click here to read an original op-ed from the TED speaker who inspired this post and watch the TEDTalk below.

At the beginning of my relationship with Tom, I had a very empowering moment. He called and sounded nervous as he told me a friend had...

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Marriage Is Not a Fairy Tale

(22) Comments | Posted September 26, 2013 | 5:18 PM

I was brought up believing that my main goal should be to get married. Like many girls, I read fairy tales that ended with a Prince sweeping the heroine off her feet and whisking her away to be married. My friends and I play-acted getting married. Back then we bought...

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Am I a Bitch in Sheep's Clothing?

(21) Comments | Posted July 26, 2013 | 2:26 PM

Years ago, I owned a summer day camp for kids. It was one of nine camps operating under the same name in different locations. I was the only woman that headed one. We had a new bus company one summer and a week before camp began, I went to the...

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'Pulling the Plug' on My Mom

(27) Comments | Posted April 30, 2013 | 2:24 PM

Mom was a vibrant, healthy 85-year-old when she had a fall that resulted in her head smashing into a wall. A few hours before it happened, she'd called from her home in Florida, breathlessly sharing: "I passed my stress test with flying colors and got a clean bill of health...

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Wanted: One Sperm Donor -- Must Be Financially Secure

(36) Comments | Posted March 11, 2013 | 12:19 PM

A woman I'm friendly with showed me her personal ad. I was surprised to read what she was looking for-- someone who wanted marriage and kids and who was financially secure enough to support her in an upscale lifestyle. I didn't see qualities beyond that, like intelligence, healthy and happy....

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Forget Resolutions! Commit to Yourself Instead

(0) Comments | Posted December 20, 2012 | 2:23 PM

I used to enjoy the thrill of making make New Year's resolutions every December. It was fun to declare all the things I wanted once the calendar changed. Sometimes, my friends and I would share them and get each other more excited. But it didn't feel good as the next...

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Why You Should View Men Like Cheesecake

(90) Comments | Posted November 26, 2012 | 9:20 AM

I used to view having a man as a necessity of life -- that I needed one to complete me -- and felt miserable when I wasn't in a relationship. My happiness rose and fell with every man I dated or stopped dating. Most of the women I knew were...

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From Fat to Hot Without Losing a Pound

(13) Comments | Posted November 1, 2012 | 3:30 PM

When I first heard comments about Lady Gaga gaining weight, I hoped she wouldn't let it get to her the way comments about my weight used to pummel my self-esteem. As founder of The Self-Love Movement™, I was delighted to watch her fight back. She let everyone who...

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Stop Trying to Fix Your Daughters!

(14) Comments | Posted September 7, 2012 | 2:09 PM

When I was on Oprah, we discussed how important it is for parents to be good role models for their children. Every time a mother expresses dissatisfaction with her weight, wrinkles, cellulite, breasts, etc., her daughters begin to scrutinize their own little bodies harshly. "Do as I say, not as...

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Are Nice Guys Really Unappealing?

(24) Comments | Posted July 2, 2012 | 6:15 PM

In my last post, "Changing Etiquette Between the Sexes," I discussed how many courtesies that have traditionally been extended from men to women should now be considered common courtesies. Both men and women should be courteous to each other. Several men commented that they try hard to...

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Changing Etiquette Between the Sexes

(227) Comments | Posted May 4, 2012 | 7:01 PM

On the subway recently, a man near me rushed to sit when someone got up. I was a little taken aback, as I'm used to men giving up seats to women. Then a man boarding the train made a quick dash to sit down. This change in etiquette was surprising....

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Turning 'Lonely' Into Happily Solo'

(12) Comments | Posted April 20, 2012 | 3:42 PM

We make many bad choices when we're scared of being lonely. When I was a people pleaser, the idea of being alone for any period of time seemed like torture. Since I didn't like myself, I couldn't imagine being happy in just my own company, which drove me to make...

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No, Slim Doesn't Mean Fat

(52) Comments | Posted April 2, 2012 | 12:50 PM

I was a vulnerable, insecure fifteen-year-old when a guy I'll call Marty said, "With your pretty face and hourglass shape, you'd be a knockout if only you lost a little weight." All I heard was that I wasn't good enough because I was too fat. That "if only" message haunted...

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Quality of Life: Does a Good Quality of Life Mean Money?

(2) Comments | Posted March 9, 2012 | 3:29 PM

A friend who I'll call Brian crashed with me recently. He's been living abroad for a while since his business is handled entirely online and his cost of living is much lower there. He sees me buying things on sale and eating at inexpensive cafes. Knowing I'm a freelance writer...

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Kathryn Joosten: Real-Life Mrs. McClusky Ain't No Desperate Housewife

(0) Comments | Posted February 20, 2012 | 3:16 PM

I was getting coffee at a press briefing about Lung Cancer Profiles when a very familiar voice said, "Hi, I'm Kathy." I knew that actress Kathryn Joosten was scheduled to speak about her experience with lung cancer but was still stunned to see...

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Be Your Own Valentine!

(1) Comments | Posted February 14, 2012 | 1:50 PM

I was just talking to a guy about Valentine's Day and was surprised when he said he dreaded February 14th. There was no special woman in his life and he and his buddies would probably drown their sorrows about not having a girlfriend with beer. I was surprised, since I...

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