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Dean Obeidallah

Dean Obeidallah

Posted: October 14, 2009 10:12 PM

The Muslims Are Coming!

What's Your Reaction:

Not only are Muslims coming -- but they want to take over America! At least that's what four Republican Members of Congress alleged today.

Representatives John Shadegg (Ariz.), Paul Broun (Ga.), Trent Franks (Ariz.) and Sue Myrick (N.C.) are alarmed because they found Muslims trying to lobby Congress. Can you believe that? Muslims-Americans actually want to have input into the American political system! Thank God (a/k/a Allah) that we have these four Congressional watch dogs on the job being paid with our tax dollars to warn of the Muslims dastardly plan to influence legislation.

These elected "officials" timed their allegation to coincide with the release of the book: Muslim Mafia: Inside the Secret Underworld that's Conspiring to Islamize America, written by Dave Gaubatz -- a man who claimed last year that a vote for "Hussein Obama is a vote for Sharia Law."

Now I want to digress for a moment to say that a "Muslim Mafia" does sound cool on some level. Americans love mafia shows so this "Muslim Mafia" could inspire the first show on US TV to star Muslims. Or maybe I like the term "Muslim Mafia" so much because my father is Muslim and my Mom is Sicilian. With this pedigree, I'm a shoe-in for a top position in the "Muslim Mafia."

Back to the real issue: Are Muslims really trying to take over America? Most estimates indicate that there are 3-4 million Muslims in the United States. In order for Muslims to take over, simple math says they have to be at least 50 percent of the 300 million Americans. As of now, Muslims are still about 147 million people short.

In an effort to speed up the Muslim take over of America -- which on some level would probably help my comedy career because I'll get even more bookings by Muslim groups -- my fellow Arab-American comedians Aron Kader and Maysoon Zayid went out to the streets of NYC with me to see if we could recruit Americans to Islam. (We did this a little while back when we first heard this allegation.) We offered prizes to people to convert to Islam, such as a toaster, a blender and even Sudoku. Here is a clip of our efforts to convert Americans!


 

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09:51 AM on 01/17/2010
The Muslimeen in America have a difficult task of staying Muslim; ward of the temptations that have compromised majority of Muslims living in America! Loyalty and obeying the law in the country that we Muslims live is correct! Many Muslims have resided in America for the wrong reasons and those reasons have gone against the hadiths and sunnah of the Prophet sws! The compromise is great in many of the Muslim America leadership where by they have become myopic in the worldly view and those views have gone against where the Muftis have given in fatwa time and time again! Those compromises are certain since you live in a country teeming with evil doings, fornication and nakedness to know end! Many America Muslims dont live near a masjid and rarely pray but they call themselves Muslim, in culture only! Muslimah American not finding mates have gone against the sunnah and married non Muslims! Islam in America is growing for sure but they have been compromised!
01:44 AM on 10/17/2009
In one of his comedy routines he states tha Muslims are the new "Black " in america ,and that makes us "cool" and now we get to be the "Black Mafia" too we''ll be so cool hijjab will sweap america in weeks
Americans will have to learn to say Asalaam alaikum and Wa alaikum asalaam just to stay hip . ROFL he has got to put some version of this in his next comedy routine
BTW if he happens to read this I am Thabit , american for 55 years but muslim for only 6 of those years and i offer my Asalaam alaikum to him

PS If Akhi Dean asks for it, huffpost , please give him my email addy
11:33 PM on 10/16/2009
Hey! This was funny!

I would convert for a digital camcorder.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Ira7
01:56 PM on 10/16/2009
I'm Jewish, so if I convert, do I get a better prize than a toaster?

The banks used to give you a toaster-oven for a $500 CD deposit...a color TV for a $2,500 CD...and a camcorder for $5,000.

You would think that a little Jewish prize like me would at least be worse a TV, even though I'm really an athiest.
07:26 AM on 10/16/2009
great blog . . .
10:17 PM on 10/15/2009
"In order for Muslims to take over, simple math says they have to be at least 50 percent of the 300 million Americans. As of now, Muslims are still about 147 million people short."

W how! That is almost all North Africa"
May be thay should learn from Jewish American. They took over America with lot less.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Ira7
01:57 PM on 10/16/2009
We did?

Someone must have forgotten to tell me.
08:13 PM on 10/15/2009
I don't think skewering Dave Gaubatz is much of a challenge really. A portion of his biogaraphy states:

"Dave received U.S. Government awards for identifying weapons of mass destruction sites in Iraq (2003). The sites were never excavated & now WMD is presumed to be in the hands of insurgent groups."(sic)

Hmmmm.
06:49 PM on 10/15/2009
"Representatives John Shadegg (Ariz.), Paul Broun (Ga.), Trent Franks (Ariz.) and Sue Myrick (N.C.) are alarmed because they found Muslims trying to lobby Congress. Can you believe that? Muslims-Americans actually want to have input into the American political system!"

"These elected "officials" timed their allegation to coincide with the release of the book: Muslim Mafia: Inside the Secret Underworld that's Conspiring to Islamize America, written by Dave Gaubatz -- a man who claimed last year that a vote for "Hussein Obama is a vote for Sharia Law."

I didn't think my opinion of the US Congress could sink any lower. Thanks for the laugh, Dean. You've got a new fan!
06:47 PM on 10/15/2009
they may not be trying to take over America but it is true that these Muslim groups mentioned are trying to influence American foreign and domestic policy in ways that are detrimental to our values. For example, they are trying to ban people from publishing books critical of Islam (Jewel of Medina) and threatening radio announcers with boycotts or worse if they speak out about the issue.
07:57 PM on 10/15/2009
You need to understand that Arab-Americans of all religions, Muslim & otherwise; as well as American Muslims of all ethnicities are part of the "we" & the "us" as well as the "our" in the good old USA, rather than as the very separate "they," as you designate. American Muslims need not justify their allegience to the secular state any more than Catholics, Jews or any other religion do. When you state, "our values" you can't exclude American Muslims, because you may or may not disapprove of their religion. But frankly, your response smacks of an axe to grind somewhere. Certainly, every American has the freedom to advocate for his viewpoint, regardless of his religion or lack of it. That's what being an American is all about. A growing community of American Muslims is making huge contributions to American society & culture, & yes, their political views will be expressed along with everyone else's.
09:24 PM on 10/15/2009
yeah they are trying shape ameica..... just like every evangelical snapper-head that i have to put up with, not to mention corporatists, unregulated capitalists, those who prefer to socialize losses and privatize profits (see wall street), wealthy tax cheats (who deprive america of the tax money needed by the government for the provision of services, infrastructure, military spending etc....) but yet i don't hear any concern for those groups EXERCISING THEIR RIGHTS you just seem to have an issue with muslims doing it.......methinks this smacks of racism....if it walks like a duck and it quacks like a duck.......
05:59 PM on 10/15/2009
Dean, you're going to be a lot more convincing to me if you can state publicly that you will permanently reject Sharia law in the US, even if 90% of the country is Muslim (just as the US has maintained secular democracy throughout its history with an overwhelming Christian majority).

It's easy to mock this concern with only 3 million Muslims in the US. Things get a little more tricky when you consider a future with a substantially greater percentage of Muslims. Will they ask for Sharia Law as in the UK? If the answer is no, say it now. If the answer is "... blah blah blah avoid the subject", then I will reserve my judgment on the fidelity of Muslim American citizens.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
Khirad
06:13 PM on 10/15/2009
No. Next?
06:31 PM on 10/15/2009
OK, next.

How do you know Sharia will not be requested if the US becomes a Muslim majority nation? I have spoken to Muslims who argue that once Muslims become a majority, the Islamic injunction to obey local laws changes, and it becomes a religious obligation to attempt to bring about rule by Sharia. Are they wrong?

And by the way, one word answers tell me that this is a discussion you want to avoid at all costs, so if you could elaborate it would be appreciated.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Dean Obeidallah
Comedian/Producer/Writer
06:24 PM on 10/15/2009
Just so i fully understand you - If I, Dean Obeidallah, a comedian, publicly state that I will permanently reject Sharia law being applied in the United States, that you - "VictorPurinton" - will then believe that all Muslims in America are faithful US citizens?

If that is all it takes then I do permanently and unequivocally reject the application of Sharia law in the United States.

Now in exchange I want you to go out a hug a Muslim! (Plus also agree to stop reading World Net Daily!) What do u say?
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piul05
Are you looking at my ears?! (Mo-om!!!)
06:35 PM on 10/15/2009
Zing!
06:45 PM on 10/15/2009
My point is this. I have come across many Muslims who espouse the sorts of progressive values we love around here. They believe in religious freedom - in the US. They believe in equal rights for men and women - in the US. But when I dig a little deeper, I find out that these beliefs are provisional, and reflect the Islamic injunction to obey local laws and play nice while Muslims are in the minority (a "position of weakness"). That changes when Muslims are in the majority.

So I'll ask the question again, more clearly: Do you believe that even if Muslims become a majority in the US, Sharia Law should never be enforced on US soil?

And by the way, I've hugged plenty of Muslims.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
Khirad
05:58 PM on 10/15/2009
Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant!!! By the way, Trent Franks should be made into the male Bachmann in my opinion, this guy is seriously messed up.

Honestly, the best remedy for the type of intolerant buffoonery displayed by these Talibangelicals (or whomever happens to be dishing it out, yes, even Muslims), is to mock them lightheartedly as the delusional children throwing tantrums they are.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
Khirad
06:13 PM on 10/15/2009
I forgot, the Kaliber was absolutely hilarious!
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piul05
Are you looking at my ears?! (Mo-om!!!)
05:49 PM on 10/15/2009
Very funny!

I particularly liked the line "...Or maybe I like the term "Muslim Mafia" so much because my father is Muslim and my Mom is Sicilian..."

Keep up the good work!
05:41 AM on 10/15/2009
Nice. Thanks! www.paulbrounjr.com
02:25 AM on 10/15/2009
The right wing nuts who feel they must spread the American version of democracy by the bayonet suddenly get nervous when Muslims try to exercise their rights as American citizens by lobbying for causes that express their concerns and desires.
12:50 AM on 10/15/2009
Where do I sign up to convert?? Cause Allah knows, if I have to align myself with any spiritual leader or deity, its NOT going to be the one described in the Christian Book of Fairy Tales.
01:14 AM on 10/15/2009
As they both follow the Abrahamic God (Allah is just the Arabic word for God, like Dio is the Spanish one), and since Jesus is still considered the second most important prophet after Mohammed himself, then Islam is probably not what you're looking for.

Perhaps a pagan faith, would suit your specs better?
01:21 AM on 10/15/2009
In reality, I'll stick to my Rational Pantheism, thanks
02:38 AM on 10/15/2009
How about the Muslim Book of Fairy Tales-you didn't talk about that did you PC boy!
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JohnFromCensornati
Free your mind and your ass will follow.
06:43 AM on 10/15/2009
Did you know that questions are supposed to end with question marks? Apparently not.