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You're Either Santorum or You're Against Him

Posted: 03/21/2012 4:06 pm

By Walter Kirn, GQ

"I live in a rather special world. I only know one person who voted for Nixon," the movie critic Pauline Kael once said, "Where they are I don't know. They're outside my ken. But sometimes when I'm in a theater I can feel them.'" (The way she's misquoted is more famous: "I can't believe Nixon won. I don't know anyone who voted for him.") This anecdote has been tossed around for decades as evidence of the liberal intelligentsia's alleged detachment from everyday life. To me, though, it demonstrates nothing of the sort, since Americans of all stripes, in my experience, like to curl up inside sealed opinion bubbles. (I'm sure that plenty of Nixon voters back then didn't know many McGovern lovers, either.) That's why I'm not embarrassed to admit that Rick Santorum baffles me, as does the success of his campaign. Despite living in a rural Montana county filled with conservative ranchers and small merchants, I've met only two individuals who back him, neither of whom went much further when we spoke than to laud their man for being "real" and disparage Romney as a slick phony. I'm sure that if I go out hunting this Sunday I can track down others of their persuasion. But even if they're better able to explain themselves I'll have a hard time believing they're not kidding.

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If this amounts to snobbery, then fine: The mind can't grasp what the mind can't grasp. Whenever I watch Santorum address a crowd, I'm struck anew by his brute ineptitude both as a speaker of ordinary English and an orchestrator of mass emotion. (Let's ignore his ideas for the time being.) Populist demagogues should strive for a certain music when they rave. But his cadences careen and strain and wander, randomly stressing words and clauses that can't take the pressure and break on impact. He's never more than a phrase away, it seems, from utterly losing track of his own point, forcing him to reach above his head and claw around for the next rung of his fraying rhetorical rope ladder. Again and again, he fails to gain a handhold and ends up tumbling through space ("A third of all the young people in America are not in America today because of abortion, because one in three pregnancies end in abortion." Gay marriage "is an issue just like 9/11." No wonder his candidacy confounds the experts. It confounds a lot of amateurs, too.


Santorum's appeal seems to demonstrate the success of Republican class-warfare, which has sliced up society to an extent that the Democrats have never managed, even though they're perpetually accused of trying. By pushing, and sometimes inventing, cultural controversies that correspond with economic divisions, the GOP's right wing has cordoned off a substantial number of white folks, many of them working-class believers valiantly struggling to raise young children, in a ghetto without walls. It's a voluntary exclusion zone whose occupants only seldom venture outside and which strangers have little reason to visit (unless they're slumming political reporters seeking to interview climate-change deniers and other fundamentalist exotics). Its boundaries are marked in the red paint of contempt. Those who've shut themselves up inside the compound are told that they're sneered at by the 'elites,' who are defined as pretty much everyone with more education or more efficient cars. The elites, who are secretly thrilled to be regarded as such, human vanity being what it is, are taught that those they supposedly despise find them doubly despicable in turn, primarily on moral grounds. Over the years and the course of many elections (as well as thousands of hours of grinding commentary by moonlighting party propagandists), this imputed contempt has turned into the real thing. Groups that might sometimes choose to live and let live, or even to unite around shared interests, have grown convinced that the country and the culture are too small and precarious to share. Yes, in the commercial world there's room for both McDonald's and Whole Foods, but in the realm of politics, we're told, it's either Filet-o-Fish or line-caught salmon, only one can prevail -- and which is up to you.


One result of this process of estrangement is that the other side's candidates -- even, sometimes, inside a single party -- may not only be objectionable but unknowable. It wasn't always like this. Years ago, when the two Pats were seeking the Republican nomination (Robertson and Buchanan), I found their pronouncements as loathsome as Santorum's, but their persons were relatively comprehensible, familiar both from literature and from life. Pat R. was either a cunning Elmer Gantry -- a fake-folksy salesman of spiritual soap -- or a Pentecostal epileptic who'd lapsed into an angel-haunted trance once and mistaken himself for Jeremiah. Pat B. was some sort of chuckling crypto-fascist riddled with eroticized racist fears and cured in oak barrels of bourbon-flavored nostalgia. Both men struck me as in on their own acts, especially when they were speaking most passionately. Prudence demanded that they be taken seriously, but instinct suggested that one was watching vaudeville.


But Rick Santorum, for me, comes out of nowhere. Our American roads don't intersect. He's a mall-store-attired chauvinist whose chuckleheadedness seems to confirm his authenticity for those who can imagine him being president, which I remain convinced they find impossible but are acting as if they don't as a kind of perverse performance art piece. Frankly, I don't understand his platform, either, mostly because to listen to him describe it seems like more attention than he deserves. He's against everything but war, correct? And smiting the wicked, of course, who we'll have more of thanks to a broader definition of evil.


Then again, a lot of Santorum's rosy-cheeked new followers aren't the pugnacious, combative Christian warriors who fell into line behind General Jerry Farwell and sought to purge Washington with a flaming sword. They're a gentler, more earnest, and optimistic contingent concerned with insulating their vulnerable families from insensitive secular exploitation, whether by carnal, grisly Hollywood or smug, self-serving teachers unions drilled in the latest feel-good conventional wisdom. It's safety they're after more than confrontation, and chiefly safety from casual cultural insults to a faith and a set of hopeful, constructive credos that have proved helpful to them in holding down their embattled, besieged domestic forts. They want to surround themselves with a zone of light that will push back against the creeping assault of consumerist narcissism and addictive, indebting, impulsive self-indulgence.

I do find it puzzling that Santorum Nation is so very afraid of having to bear the consequences of other people's sins. The Bible that he and his followers revere offers precious few examples of righteous folks being punished for neighbors' misdeeds (to the contrary: Noah was warned to build an Ark, Lot was told by an angel to flee Sodom, and Jesus, who temporarily bore the brunt of all the wrongdoing that ever was, was amply compensated with resurrection). Yet he and his followers seem terrified of strangers' sex acts, contraception practices, and other ostensibly unclean behaviors. One would think that the lesson they'd take from scripture is to continue in their holy ways and let corrupt America fall around them so they can have dominion over what's left. Or is it moral contagion that scares these people? Maybe, despite their efforts at homeschooling, firearms-education, and college-avoidance, Santorum and his constituents lack confidence in their ability to fend off Satan. As a matter of fact, it's clear they lack such confidence, or why would they look to legislation, to laws, to clear the national landscape of temptation, including, according to a recent Santorum speech, Internet pornography? It turns out they're fans of government after all. Indeed, they look to it for their salvation. In politics, ironically, they trust, but in God they merely believe.


They're not who they seem to be, Santorum's people. I honestly don't know who they are.


Do they?


Walter Kirn is the author, most recently, of a memoir, "Lost in the Meritocracy." His 2001 novel "Up in the Air" is the basis for the film of the same name. His column appears every Friday.

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By Walter Kirn, GQ "I live in a rather special world. I only know one person who voted for Nixon," the movie critic Pauline Kael once said, "Where they are I don't know. They're outside my ken. But s...
By Walter Kirn, GQ "I live in a rather special world. I only know one person who voted for Nixon," the movie critic Pauline Kael once said, "Where they are I don't know. They're outside my ken. But s...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
netzach
Voiding warranties for 42 years
09:13 PM on 03/21/2012
It's simple, no reason for confusion. Santorum was just at the end of the anybody-but-the-Mormon line. Nobody else to turn to at this point.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Enjay 1
Enjay in E MT
08:05 PM on 03/21/2012
I work for a couple Raging Red Republicans and
they may actually NOT vote if Santorum is the nominee.
They won't help President Obama, but they sure won't
check the Santorum box.

Keep telling them I haven't seen a Republican in the
race that is worth my vote.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
eddy joe
welcome to the machine
08:04 PM on 03/21/2012
It turns out they're fans of government after all. Indeed, they look to it for their salvation. In politics, ironically, they trust, but in God they merely believe.

They're not who they seem to be, Santorum's people. I honestly don't know who they are.

Do they?
Not only are they not fans of government, they are urged not to have anything to do with government. [we should obey God, rather than man.] But we have to work within the system we have, to protect our religious rights. Slow erosion, is still erosion. A slippery slope soon becomes a downhill plunge. Santorum's people know who they are. They are Christians.
AtlantaBluebelle
When nothing goes right, go left.
07:05 PM on 03/22/2012
I would call them Pharisees myself.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
eddy joe
welcome to the machine
07:59 PM on 03/21/2012
"That's why I'm not embarrassed to admit that Rick Santorum baffles me, as does the success of his campaign." ... You must be easily baffled. he is a christian, that lives by the laws of Christ. As the majority [about 80%] of americans consider themselves christians, what is more baffling , is why you say you are baffled.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Brandon Sweaterman Reese
NAME CALLING: The liberal's concession speech
07:35 PM on 03/21/2012
As a Santorum supporter I think you misunderstand the basic principles that we believe in, but worse you misunderstand the basic principles that YOU believe in. If one believes in God then that is the higher power he serves, if one does not believe in God then GOVERNMENT is the highest power you serve. Government is here to serve US... but more importantly than that, government is here to LEAVE US ALONE. Which is worse: Voting for a guy who says he will NOT support Gay marriage... and holds true to that, or voting for the guy who said he WOULD support it... but never does? (BTW I do support Civil Union Rights and increasing those to accomodate as necessary). Do you trust the guy who would just as soon fire you as look at you, or the guy who has been there working with you (figuratively speaking). Would you rather have a president that serves a higher power... or one that acts as though he IS the higher power? Do you trust the guy who has lived the principles he champions or do you trust the guy who changes his principles in an attempt to be champion? Most of us are all for everyone being able to worsjip who they choose, or be who they want to be, we just don't have to like it... or want to pay for it.
06:35 PM on 03/21/2012
Excellent article, except now i fear that right will demand that President Obama apologize for it.
HUFFPOST PUNDIT
xlntcat
06:34 PM on 03/21/2012
Well, MS is still looking for anyone who is willing to admit that they actually voted for Santorum and most deny knowing who he even is. The best explanation for his winning the state is the report of "voting irregualarities" at the multiple evangelical churches where the vote was held.
05:39 PM on 03/21/2012
Uh...I agree!
05:09 PM on 03/21/2012
It seems to me that the only emotion that Santorum displays is anger. Does he realize that before birth control became available in this country that tha average life expectancy for American women was 45 years?
05:06 PM on 03/21/2012
Very well said.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
mjclear
04:36 PM on 03/21/2012
The Santorum candidacy fills a void. The void is represented in the fears of millions of Americans who see their way of life disappearing and their values threatened.

It really IS all about guns, gays and god ( the old Lee Atwater GOP approach), and now its also about job loss and the decline of the American industrial sector. Most of the Santorum followers are not college grads, and their futures were predicated on industrial jobs that have flown to other countries. Their thinking: they took our jobs, now they want to take our faith, our guns and our way of life.

They react to this fear with an attraction to reactionary politicians: those who somehow hold out the promise of a return to "the good old days". Santorum, Gingrich, Cain, Bachmann, Perry....they all held out that promise. Santorum's ace card is his maniacal religious zeal, and it is the reason for his success.

Afraid of an uncertain future, fringe conservatives want to go back. To go back to a time before any one could conceive of a black President; go back to a time when gays were invisible; go back to a time when people worshiped god more than they worshipped the latest I pad.

Those days truly are gone. What we are left with is an uncertain future, and - for some- a knawing fear, a void waiting to be filled by the next political huckster who promises certainty in an uncertain world.

This year, its Santorum.
04:32 PM on 03/21/2012
Unlike the Phoenix he will not rise-up from his own ashes.