THE BLOG

Three Little Words You Should NEVER Say on a First Date

06/14/2013 12:19 pm ET | Updated Aug 14, 2013

Divorced or not, dating can be a daunting prospect in any circumstance. But there's one thing in particular that screams "RUN" that you should probably be aware of.

There are three little words that no woman (or man) wants to hear on the first date. (Besides the obvious three little words.)

When someone first said these three little words to me, I think I was more surprised than anything else. But the second, third, and fourth time it happened, it was just creepy.

What ARE these three little words?

"I Googled You."

On more than one occasion, someone has told me on a first (and last) date, "So! I Googled you! And you've been busy!" Ick.

I get it. You're curious. We're all curious. But telling someone that you Googled them on the first date gives them that icky creepy feeling that makes them want to run home and take a shower in bleach. Don't get me wrong, we all do it. We're curious about who this person is that we're about to have drinks or "break bread" with. We want to make damned sure that we're not about to rope ourselves into spending 2+ hours with freak of the century, so we do a little "research." No harm. No foul. It's almost a given in 2013. But don't TELL them that you Googled them!

Telling someone that you Googled them on a first date, makes them feel as though you went out of your way to read through their private diary, and at the first meeting, have information about them that they didn't personally give you. Don't get me wrong, I DO realize that what I post here and Lord knows where else online is accessible to any and everyone who dares to read it. Telling me that you've read it on say... the third or fourth date -- okay. By then I expect that you would have. But on the first date? Too much. Totally creepy. Wait 'til I'm certain that you're NOT an ax-murdering stalker to tell me that you did that. At that point, no problem. But right out of the gate? Nope. Bye.

I recently had a man with whom I'd spoken very briefly, but had never been on a date with, and who didn't even KNOW my last name, use what tiny (and I do mean tiny) bit of information he did have on me, to find me online, and creep my LinkedIn profile (on LinkedIn, you can sometimes see who looked at your profile). Being able to see that he did it, is just as bad as having him actually tell me that he did it. To make matters worse, the fact that he only had my first name and a very vague idea of my occupation to go by, TOTALLY freaked me. Do I even need to tell you that I'll NEVER go out with him?

Ladies AND Gentlemen; don't TELL someone that you Googled them, or researched them online on the first date. I don't care how well you think you're getting along. I'm not saying don't do it. I'm saying don't tell them. It's creepy.

Peace. xo

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