Tough Love: 10 Style Rules Your Friends Won't Tell You

Aren't friends supposed to provide love and acceptance? Who can we trust if our closest friends won't tell us the truth about how we look?
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A friend of mine maintained her hippie look -- think Janis Joplin-inspired glasses, wild, untamed hair and no makeup -- until she turned 50. Then her sister, who lived in another country and hadn't seen her for several years, came for a visit and matter of factly told her that she needed to update her look, color and condition her hair and buy new glasses. My friend took her sister's advice, made a few changes and now looks ten years younger. But her question to me was, "Why didn't you tell me?" She wondered why none of her friends let her know that a stylistic rehaul was long overdue. I had just assumed that she knew what she looked like, that she was making a choice not to wear makeup or dye or comb her hair -- and who was I to judge her? Aren't friends supposed to provide love and acceptance? And that got me wondering, who can we trust, if our closest friends won't tell us the truth about how we look?

It is one thing to go shopping with a friend and let her know what looks good on her. That is why we shop communally, and if we are alone, send photos to friends for their opinion, or even seek advice from strangers in dressing rooms. I personally have purchased at least two bathing suits based upon the opinions of total strangers. But would you really want your friends to vote thumbs up or down once you show up? Or sit you down and tell you your bangs have to go? And don't even think about telling a friend that she needs to lose a few pounds. I don't think there is any way a friendship can survive that.

You know you can't trust your spouse or significant other. Most learn really quickly that the ONLY acceptable answer to the question, "How does this look?" is an enthusiastic "Great!" and they know that points are deducted for every millisecond that they hesitate. Stacy and Clinton can only help one person a week on "What Not to Wear," and the fact that they are in their 9th season and going strong means there are a lot of people out there who need help, and whose friends haven't said a word. (Although nominating a friend for the show is a pretty unsubtle hint you think they look awful.) So since your friends won't tell you the truth, please let me share a few things that they would if they could:

  • 2. If you are 50, dying your hair bright red makes you look like a crazy 50-year-old, not like you are 30.
  • 3. Yoga pants are never appropriate outside of a yoga studio.
  • 4. Yes, you can fit into your teenage daughter's clothes, but no, you shouldn't wear them.
  • 5. If you can't see a thing when you take your glasses off, then you should not wear eyeliner.
  • 6. That back tattoo? Not a good idea. One day you will have children and they will want to go swimming and the other mothers will judge you.
  • 7. Just because you have been wearing it for decades doesn't make it good.
  • 8. Spraying something on a balding area looks like you have sprayed something on a balding area. It does not look like hair.
  • 9. No one's lips need to be artificially plumped. It is not sexy, it is just really, really sad.
  • 10. And yes, it DOES make you look fat.
  • Want more? Take a peek in our gallery below to see 22 stars wearing yoga pants... out of the house. Be sure to check out Stylelist on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr and Pinterest.

    Hilary Duff

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