Breaking Free

04/21/2014 12:31 pm ET | Updated Jun 18, 2014

Once upon a time there was a woman who believed that love could conquer all. Then one day, her husband left her for another and the man who then entered her life claiming to be her knight in shining armor turned out to be adept at deceit himself.

With her heart broken and the life she thought she had now only an illusion, she crawled into her tower and sought the meaning of something more important than life; she sought the meaning of herself.

That woman was me. I say "was" because I am no longer that woman.

As far back as I can remember, I was never without a boyfriend. Not that I was over the moon for all of them, but hey, they were someone to date. What I didn't realize at the time was I was selling myself short by settling for just a warm body. What was I afraid of?

Being in my tower, I was on a pilgrimage to find "me," to become self-actualized and to experience something I had never experienced before -- being free of a relationship in order to find myself.

If you want a "happily ever after" heed my advice. Take time off from dating in order to explore yourself, your world, and how you want to live in it. Redirect your life's path by deciding what is important to you. Don't settle for a warm body. So many of us settle even when our soul cries out for more. We don't push ourselves towards our inner goal because it feels too unfamiliar, painful, or fearful. It's too difficult, so we stop midway and settle. Give yourself a chance to feel free. Free from preconceived notions of how my life should have gone, what I thought I wanted in a man and a relationship and how I viewed myself, I realized relationships are not Disney. There are people in those costumes. Mickey is not Mickey. I still believe in Disney, I just readjusted my vision.

Don't be afraid to take some time for self discovery and step outside of your comfort zone. Transformation can be scary, but boy does it feel great to break free.