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Deborah King

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Mothers: The Tie That Binds

Posted: 05/04/2012 4:10 pm

Mothers. Without them, we wouldn't be here. Yet what travails we often have with our own mothers. It doesn't matter if she's alive or dead, if you were adopted or abandoned -- your relationship to your birth mother is still a major factor in your day-to-day life. That umbilical cord may have been cut at birth, but emotional cords tie you two together for life and beyond.

Reams of material have been written about mother-daughter and mother-son relationships, from the Oedipal to the "best friends" variety. We spend nine months (more or less) securely tucked into mother's womb, and we will never have such an extraordinarily intimate relationship with anyone else in our lives.

Of course, not all of us are filled with mother-child memories of warmth and comfort and apple pie. As I said in my book, Truth Heals (Hay House 2009), my mother resented my close relationship with my father and controlled my every move; her parenting was often downright cruel.

It took years of rebellion and decades of spiritual practice for me to be able to forgive my mother, to understand her fears and to love her. Now, in her old age, I visit her and help in whatever way I can during her health crises and hospitalizations. It's been a difficult and complicated relationship, but I can now see and appreciate the gifts I received from her, as the pain and suffering of my childhood provided the foundation for my present-day work as a wounded healer.

This Mother's Day, try to re-examine your relationship with the woman who gave birth to you, but through new eyes. Instead of seeing the old hurts, remembering the old pain of not getting the love you wanted or needed, or, on the other hand, being smothered with non-stop attention and attachment, try to see how that relationship influenced who you have become.

Are you able to feel love for your mother, no matter what happened between you? Have you cleared away the toxic residue of your past relationship within yourself, or do you still have deep dark pockets of pain regarding your mother? Do you parent your own children in the same way you were parented, or in a totally different way?

If you are carrying memories that still hurt, now is the time to bring them into light, to acknowledge whatever happened and to release what no longer serves you. Thank your mother for, at the very least, carrying you within her body and bringing you into incarnation. Journal, journal and journal some more about everything you feel regarding your mother. No matter how long she's been gone from your life, I guarantee you'll find plenty to write about.

So give yourself a gift this Mother's Day -- the gift of re-evaluating and re-examining your relationship with your mother. When you finally express the truth of that relationship -- the truth as you feel it, as you experienced it -- you will find reservoirs of love within you. Far more beautiful than a bouquet of roses, the sweet smell of truth will truly liberate you.

 

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Mothers. Without them, we wouldn't be here. Yet what travails we often have with our own mothers. It doesn't matter if she's alive or dead, if you were adopted or abandoned -- your relationship to you...
Mothers. Without them, we wouldn't be here. Yet what travails we often have with our own mothers. It doesn't matter if she's alive or dead, if you were adopted or abandoned -- your relationship to you...
 
 
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02:06 PM on 05/14/2012
My relationship with my mother was toxic and complicated for most of the relationship. She was critical, controlling, and didn't valued me as a person. She favored my brother, who was 11 months older. Over time I came to understand that my mother was deeply wounded from her childhood and her own relationship with her mother, and that she was critical and unable to value herself as well. As she got older we were able to relate better, and I was able to forgive her. Right before her death I came to the realization that she did love me very deeply in her own way- the only way she was able. That realization was very cathartic, and within days, she passed away. What word come to mind first when I think of my mother? LOVE.
04:05 AM on 05/11/2012
I was estranged from my mother for much of my adult life, I detached with love to protect myself and my child from abuse. I chose to renew contact with her several years before she died and as difficult as it was, it was healing in some ways and we were able to process things. I am glad that she knew I loved her and forgave her before she died and she knew that I remembered the good times and was thankful to her for many things. We went camping on one my last visits with her and I will always remember her joy in eating smores for the first time, surrounded by redwood trees.
01:28 PM on 05/10/2012
Thank you for this Deborah, it is inspiring to read and got me to sit and write a piece for a project that I had been putting off- the piece on my relationship with my mother. It is also wonderful to read the many experiences of 'being mothered' and how it affects us on such deep levels. I had the classic 'mommie dearest' with very little memories of childhood. It wasn't until I was pregnant with my daughter, when my mom broke down an apologized and was overcome with guilt that I learned more of what had transpired. Today we are close and I tell her often she was exactly what I needed to be who I am today and do what I do in healing arts. I hope someday she can really hear and understand that, she is still carrying a lot around it. And on some level, I know I am still healing, too, and all of it is perfect. The piece is called, The Perfect Mother. It may be posted on Mother's Day, it may never go out in it's full form... we'll see. It was healing to write it in any case.
Giving thanks for the many blessings of love, compassion, forgiveness, surrender, healing which have come from mom. Love her so much!! Jaia
11:55 AM on 05/10/2012
I had a wonderful relationship with my mom , even during my typical teenage rebellious stage. She was a beautiful free spirited woman who taught me , my sis and brother a lot about sharing ,caring, dreaming and the beauty of life. She showed us how to be our best even when faced with challenges . Millie was a wonderful soul and I miss her dearly
08:47 AM on 05/10/2012
I would like to thank you Deborah and all the wonderful people who shared your truths with such loving open-ness. I am a man who is 45 that had some resentment towards my mother for not accepting me as a gay man. There was resentment about being the oldest sibling trained to handle a lot of responsibilities early in my life which I thought robbed me of having a carefree childhood. Lastly, I was resentful for the strict parental behavior my mother always demonstrated.

As an adult, I can accept with gratitude the love and discipline my mother instilled in me. I realize that she was only guiding me to have the most wonderful experience of love. I have become a compassionate, creative and loving person because of the energy of gratitude my mother showed me. I am so glad that she did not let me go to certain parties or participate with people who did not have my best interest at hand.

She and I now have a much better relationship and we speak to each other with love, clarity and great respect. Because of her, I am joyous person who lives in Chicago and greets people with a smile. I meet people openly and have conversations like we have been friends for years without fear and judgment. I have been blessed with wonderful friendships in my life because I am a person who loves greeting people with "Hey Hey Hey".
06:14 PM on 05/09/2012
Deborah,thank you. I experienced truths while writing this. I had a mixed relationship with my mom. I see she took charge with us but didn't take charge in her life. I believe my dad had behaviors that hurt her and made her feel inadequate. She had me and didn't graduate 12th grade. I loved her cooking, sewing, cleaning and organizing. She loved my father and our family. I want her to forgive me and I forgive myself for for being self riotous, cutting up her wedding dress, talking about her belly, forgetting my 17th birthday.I'm sure she didn't but I had a fit anyway, not understanding her female illnesses, and dying on my birthday, It came to me in a dream. This year you will be able to go home for Christmas but it wont matter.I went home the last week of October. The dream had me startled she looked fine until I saw her back was black with chemo burn.I worked for a store. Christmas is GOD.November everyday panic stricken waiting for call. It will be today. November 29th, my birthday. I made it through the day. Returning from dinner, my daughter says from the back seat "Grandma died" silence. Then as we get out of the car, we hear the phone ringing in the garage. Mom had died. I and my kids are her. Strong. Don't ask for help. Be self sufficient. Much love to my family. LOVE, LIGHT AND ANGEL BLESSINGS TO ALL
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05:31 PM on 05/09/2012
My mother had a painful relationship with her own mother, which my 5 siblings and I witnessed. One of the results was that my mother was adamant about not wanting to try to control any of her own children, which sometimes felt as if she was distant. Now I appreciate her efforts and can look back and remember she never told me what to do. Mostly I appreciate that she, and her mother actually, encouraged me to dance, as they could see I loved it, even though I was gawky and a bit of an ugly duckling. I danced all through high school, paying for the lessons myself by assistant teaching. Now in middle age, my love of dance and the residual skill are some of the greatest blessings in my life, and, finally, I feel like a swan. So I am thankful to these women, and realize the importance of encouraging our children to pursue their passions in life, while at the same time, not telling them what to do.
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healthyboomer
Amazon international bestselling author of STOP Ba
01:38 PM on 05/09/2012
Thanks Deborah for this well written post. Most of us do not have that "Hallmark card" relationship with our Moms and as you have so eloquently pointed out, it's understanding how our Moms helped us to grow and become the persons we are now that's important.
My relationship with my mom was also very emotionally charged when I was growing up and I couldn't wait to get out of that house! But our relationship changed completely when I saw how she loved my children. And then again as she was preparing to leave her body and became more dependent on myself and my siblings, we were fortunate to see another side of her.
A fellow Shaman recently spoke to a group of us about how we can let those who have left this earth ahead of us know that we are ok, all is forgiven, everything is fine... Light a candle at night and say a prayer or remember a time when you and your mom were together. This sounds like the best way to honor my Mom on Mother's Day and every day!
HealthyBoomer
04:01 AM on 05/09/2012
I learned about unconditional love from my mom. Our relationship was far from perfect, and I know there were times we both wondered how the heck we landed in the same family. She wanted me so badly to be a teacher and I wanted to travel the world. She could never understand how I knew in my 20's that I would not have children, especially when she had five. There were so many differences, but I knew that despite making all of the choices she would not have made, she loved me unconditionally and told me how proud she was of me. My favorite memory was when I was 15 and very shut down, she would walk in my room and give me a hug. I loved those hugs, although I could not return them or let her know I loved them. And then she would say "I know you can't hug me back, but I want to hug you". The memory still makes me cry, although she's been gone for 12 years. I feel blessed to have that example of unconditional love in my life. Thank you Mom :)
07:37 PM on 05/08/2012
I was blessed to have a good relationship with my mother. Youngest of four, I was the 'little one' and was asked to 'stay five'!! I remember that!! Mum was always there for us but never a nag and somehow, we were all very well behaved children. I chatted to my siblings a few years ago about our childhood, and we all have good memories. We can't even remember getting into any real trouble!! The one significant thing I have to thank my Mum for, is for her persistence to make us speak properly. Being brought up in the South West of England, we could have grown up with a terribly strong West Country accent, but my Mum was from the North of England and she could not abide the 'Bath' accent, so she would often say: "there is a 't' on the end of thaT"!! We leared 'to speak proper' (haha) and for that I am eternally grateful!! I am also eternally grateful for the bond our whole family has - my sisters and brother and I have a great relationship even though we don't see each other very often as we live fairly far apart - them all in England, one of them quite far from our hometown, and me here in the USA. Whenever we get together, we pick up where we left off and always have a laugh. Mum at 86 has a giggle with us too. What a great family - all thanks to Mum!!
08:51 PM on 05/07/2012
This is my first Mother's Day without my Mom.
She was very nurturing and loving. She left her body 11 months ago.
When I read your post Deborah (and many others) I wanted to hug the little girl inside and tell her how much she is loved.
I have 3 siblings and when I think back we were all fighting for Mom's attention. I think my Mom put each one of us up on a pedestal. It made me feel like I was the special one and when she gave another attention it created this weird insecurity. Odd thing is I can see where I have created the same thing in my relationship with my two children. Thank you for helping us all tell our truth.
03:40 PM on 05/07/2012
I had a tumultuous relationship with my mother most of my life. I was the "difficult child" and I remember constantly writing letters of apology for acting out. Later on, after my father died, I had two years where my mother and I started to bond. I was alone with her when she took her last breath and died in the hospital. Before she slipped into a coma (it was New Year's Eve), her last words to me were "Go home, Barbara, you've been here all day." I felt in those last days that she knew I loved her. Your teaching has really helped me to dig deep and uncover the truth in both the relationship I had with my mother and the one I have with my own daughter. I am so grateful to you, Deborah, for your courage to speak the truth and pave the way for all of us to do the same. Thank you!
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Deborah King
01:56 PM on 05/08/2012
Beautiful story, Barbara!
09:32 AM on 05/07/2012
My mom is almost 91 now, and still going strong. She still doesn't "get" me, but is happy to have me around because it makes her feel safer since my dad died. I know my relationship with my kids is easier than the one with my mom, and my grandkids are pure joy, but I'm working on clearing up that primal relationship while I still have the chance. Thanks for your perspective on this...
08:29 PM on 05/06/2012
Deborah, this is excellent -- thanks. My mother was harsh and critical, and as a sensitive child I was afraid of her, not feeling safe around her at all. It took me years of avoiding her to move to intellectual understanding that she really did the best she could for me given her own difficult younger life, then finally to true compassion for her and to gratitude. She has had more influence on me than any other human, and I would not be who I am without her.
07:34 PM on 05/06/2012
Mother's Day is very special to me as a mother of four. I thank my mom for all that she has taught me always. I learned never to favor one child over the other because my mom favored my brother. I was never encouraged, so I have always encouraged my children to be the best that they can be and to do all that they are passionate about. With love I have taught them how to fly on their own!
Sadly, my mom has dementia now and is clueless as to who my children are and even who I am. Still, I remember the fears she carried throughout her life and in my own way I am happy that she does not even know of them any more because of her illness.
I wish all us a Happy Mother's Day because it is an honor to be a mother and we are very powerful as women and mothers and need to stay present and know that our children are always watching us, how we act and react. Thanks mom for teaching me so much about giving and caring...Linda Amato