Downgrading Divorce From Crisis To Process In The Workplace

Divorce or the breakdown of a relationship is an extremely emotional process. People are often confused, filled with fear and unsure of how to navigate the process. Their world is turned upside down, triggering unsettling and distressful emotions. The effects of the emotional distress in the workplace can be devastating.

Close to 50 percent of marriages in North America end in divorce. The divorce rate rises to a staggering 60 percent and higher for subsequent divorces by these same individuals. Clearly, we need to employ strategies that will get everyone, including those caught in the middle -- often the children -- off the "divorce-go-round" and on to a better life. We need to encourage healthy new beginnings, even when divorce looks like an end.

On a classic rating scale of stressful life events, divorce consistently ranks number two -- second only to the death of a spouse or child. People often feel overburdened and lack confidence, so it's not surprising many buckle under the pressure.

Divorce undoubtedly reduces a worker's productivity. According to John Curtis of Integrated Organizational Development in Waynesville, N.C., the cost per worker going through a divorce is about $8,300, assuming an average wage of $19.50 per hour and a 50 percent to 75 percent drop in productivity. That estimate also includes days missed as the worker takes time off to deal with the legal, financial and psychological issues related to divorce.

Curtis' research also takes into account a drop in productivity by the worker's supervisor, as a result of time spent dealing directly and indirectly with performance and productivity issues, and a loss in productivity and increased workload by some of the worker's peers.

If a critical executive is faced with separation or divorce, it can have an even more dramatic impact on the organization.

And concerns go beyond just financial ones -- including the potential for workplace violence related to the breakup or child custody issues.

When employers are able to help employees through this all-too-common but difficult and potentially distracting situation, it can pay dividends for both. When workers are distracted, they make more mistakes and work more slowly. If they're feeling depressed, their creativity will drop.

If they're feeling angry, they may project some of that anger at co-workers and customers. Employee well-being can be affected by extra stress, depression and anxiety brought on by the financial impacts of divorce, childcare responsibilities and loneliness. This can, in turn, impact safety, morale and retention.

Furthermore, senior personnel often find themselves trying to manage department personnel who are coping with the aftermath of divorce, but are unsure as to how to counsel them.

So what should you do when a worker breaks the bad news about trouble on the homefront?

Here are a few tips for managers and HR professionals:

• Be compassionate, empathetic and supportive -- do not act as a problem-solver.


• Once an employee shares his personal situation with you, direct him to appropriate resources, such as the employee assistance program (EAP) or other appropriate individuals or departments.


• Be a good listener: When an employee speaks about his or her personal issue, be respectful. Turn off the phone, turn away from your computer and listen. Show that you care. Avoid saying: "I've been through it too and I know what you are going through." Keep your distance and avoid becoming the go-to person for divorce issues. Maintain your role as manager and don't become the therapist. Avoid sharing personal details of your divorce and do not provide advice.


• Refocus the employee so he gets his information from the experts and proper resources -- not divorced colleagues or media reports.

For more information about managing divorce in the workplace, contact Deborah Moskovitch to find out more about The Smart Divorce® Resource ToolKit. By implementing The Smart Divorce Resource ToolKit, an organization can offer value added programs with a focus towards providing health and productivity solutions. Contact [e-mail]
Deborah Moskovitch is president and founder of The Smart Divorce and creator of the Smart Divorce Resource Toolkit for employers. She can be reached at [phone]. For more information, visit www.thesmartdivorce.com

 

 

 

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Comments

[tkns]

09:45 PM on 03/05/2012

Where does such a com passioante company exist in today's world??

[Deborah Moskovitch]

09:00 AM on 03/06/2012

I am working with companies in the private and public sectors -- through their Employee Assistance Program departments, providing divorce support programs. These organizations are providing their employees, free of charge, with The Smart Divorce ToolKit and other divorce support resources.

[qsfoxx]

09:49 AM on 03/05/2012

Just think of it as 'trading season' and hope for an upgrade. Also, keep in mind that your baggage will accompany you - just like carry-on.

[Deborah Moskovitch]

10:06 AM on 03/05/2012

The goal is to work through the baggage, so that over time, you can move from an oversized burden to a sleek little carry on, to something more minimal. With work, I it is possible to overcome the negativity, and move forward positively. You have choices, you can go through life feeling like a victim, or choose to move on.

[qsfoxx]

05:59 PM on 03/05/2012

And, most of all, you can choose to forgive because to forgive is to set a prisoner free and to later discover that the prisoner is you.

[frankc354]

07:16 AM on 03/05/2012

divorce is not a bad thing,putting a bad situation that was not working out to bed and being able to start fresh is good, just needs to be done in a civil manner,kept out of work place,and not involve the children

[Deborah Moskovitch]

02:19 PM on 03/02/2012

@Karissa..thank you.
I am working with many companies in the private and public sectors providing health and wellness solutions as employees navigate the challenging time during divorce. You might find The Smart Divorce Resource ToolKit of interest - http://blog.thesmartdivorce.com/2011/11/11/how-you-can-divorce-with-focus-hope-and-confidence/

[Karissa36]

08:41 PM on 03/01/2012

Excellent advice which applies to most difficult life situations employees face. Be compassionate, but keep it out of the workplace. Too many managers get sucked into employee's personal dramas, and the office becomes distracted hearing about the issues and giving advice.