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Debra Chasnoff

Debra Chasnoff

Posted April 7, 2009 | 02:51 PM (EST)

Break the Silence on Bullying


On Wednesday, 250 educators and students from Laramie, Wyoming opened the 10th Matthew Shepard Symposium for Social Justice by watching the film Straightlaced? How Gender's Got Us All Tied Up. Before the screening, a reporter asked me how today's climate has changed since Matthew's brutal murder in 1998. "It's deceptive," I said. "We see gay characters on TV regularly now, but after spending five years interviewing teenagers about their experiences with gender-based stereotypes, I've learned that popular culture doesn't necessarily translate into school climates improving around this issue."

When the film ended, I turned on my computer to check the news. I couldn't believe what I saw. A federal lawsuit had just been filed by the parents of Eric Mohat, a 17-year old student from Ohio who had committed suicide after being repeatedly harassed with anti-gay epithets such as "fag" and "homo." They are not asking for money, but want to know why administrators didn't intervene after witnessing his harassment, and why some teachers even joined in. After telling his mother, "I get picked on every day... I can't do this anymore," he locked himself in his room and shot himself. Shockingly, four others from his school have also committed suicide because of unabated bullying.

Eric didn't identify as gay, but it didn't matter. His good grades and involvement with art meant he veered away from what 'masculinity' allowed him to be, and his peers (and allegedly some teachers) sent him constant reminders with homophobic taunts and teasing. One student even told Eric in class, "Why don't you go home and shoot yourself, no one will miss you." With another young, promising life cut short, I revisited my earlier interview: How have times really changed since Matthew Shepard was left to die on a fence?

My work with Groundspark's educational outreach program, The Respect For All Project, taught me that the fear of being called 'gay' is constantly on the minds of youth across the country. "It is generally the ultimate insult," said one student, "a powerful tool for controlling someone," said another. As these teenagers jumped at the chance to finally discuss the big elephant in today's classrooms, it became clear that anti-gay taunts were being hurled at the slightest gender non-conformity: Wearing scarves, learning yoga, showing emotion, and participating in class were all transgressions. Eric's tragic experience is happening in thousands of schools, to millions of youth. He may have felt like an outcast, but was unfortunately he was the norm.

We began screening Straightlaced in classrooms with profound results. Hearing peers share common experiences opened a dialogue on a topic that teens previously felt unsafe to discuss, thus creating much needed change. I wondered what Eric would be doing today if his teachers would have stood up for him, challenged the stereotypes they heard, and incorporated a curriculum that challenges oppression and develops empathy, instead of moving desks around so students couldn't physically hit Eric without speaking a word on the underlying issues. Obviously, this strategy did not create a solution to the problem.

Matthew Shepard's murderers, like Eric's tormentors, were lashing out against an unknown fear that nobody ever encouraged them to understand, and their actions sent a powerful message to the entire country about the dangers of non-conformity. While it's comforting to think we've progressed over time, the same pressures that led to Matthew's murder are still being experienced in a pervasive and systemic way by teenagers today. I know it takes courage to stand up to these pressures, so I challenge every educator in this country to listen to the calls of Eric's parents, of the youth in Straightlaced, of every teen who knows what Eric went through, and break the silence about the hidden lessons youth are getting about being themselves. The lives of your students may depend on it.


Debra Chasnoff is an Academy Award-winning documentary filmmaker and the Executive Director of Groundspark, a non-profit organization creating visionary films and educational campaigns that move individuals and communities to take action for a more just world.

 
 
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TryToBeFlexible
MENSA, Gay, Atheist, Believer in justice, age 58
10:15 AM on 04/08/2009
Bullying is torture, plain and simple. It is carried out by psychopathic future criminals on anyone they feel is weak enough so that they can get away with it. Faculty and administrators could care less. The majority of parents stop being real parents if they find out their kids are gay. So, the kids are afraid to tell their parents, and risk being thrown out of the house (usually a death sentence), and if they tell school administrators, they risk being outed to their parents. Basically, it is open season on gay kids. Always has been. And then you have christian groups fighting any legislation that would curtail bullying. Which makes sense. If your religion believes in stoning unbelievers to death, then why would you want an anti-bullying law in effect? That just gets in the way of sucking up to the evil god you worship.
The ONLY thing that will stop this is if the school faculty and administrator's feel that they will be legally, and personally liable when they allow this to go on. And they know this goes on. And, if they are christian, they probably approve and encourage this to go on.
10:11 PM on 04/07/2009
*corrections

Parents have lost control over how their schools are run, and children are being victimized all across this nation, while schools alter required reports of VIOLENCE incidents in schools, by manipulating definitions of what constitutes an act of violence against a child.

Ask the children who are forced to live in toxic schools what their truth is - , not those who fail in their duty to protect them, while upholding TOXICITY in our public schools.

It's happening all across America while school officials look the other way. (Not all school officials - but enough, where the blood of our children is running thru the halls of our schools, while NOTHING CHANGES, and the same cycle of vicious insanity continues, where children across America can no longer bear the suffering they endure in the toxic hallways of our schools - and their final pleas for help are shed in acts of bloodshed that put an end to their torment, and in some cases, ends the lives of other children and teachers who are murdered in the bloodshed... until the next child falls prey to our failure to act in protecting their interests and upholding their RIGHT to a nurturing educational experience.....
10:04 PM on 04/07/2009
Parents have lost control over how their schools are run, and children are being victimized all across this nation, while schools alter required reports of VIOLENCE, by manipulation definitions of what constitutes an act of violence against a child.
Ask the children who are forced to live in toxic schools, not those who fail in their duty to protect them, while upholding TOXICITY in our public schools. It's happening all across America while school officials look the other way. (Not all school officials - but enough, where the blood of our children is running thru the halls of our schools, while NOTHING CHANGES, and the same cycle of vicious insanity continues while children across America can no longer bear the suffering they endure in the toxic hallways of our schools - and their final pleas for help are shed in acts of bloodshed they puts an end to their torment... until the next child falls prey to our failure to act in protecting their interests.
10:04 PM on 04/07/2009
One of the problems is that it costs over $250,000 to remove a TOXIC teacher...no less, a toxic school administrator who lies well to parents with claims like: "Nothing like this has ever happened before" (except it has ... repeatedly, while they keep burying the truth).

You can't fire toxic teachers, something that no one seems to want to talk with all the talks about unions. In fact, school administrators often protect toxic teachers - its' been written about quite a bit, and in some instances, school officials even lie for toxic teachers, and blame the victimized child for the failings of a toxic administration, and a toxic school environment.
Read: "And Words Can Hurt Forever".
It's an eyeful about what is happening in our public schools.

It's one of the reasons why unions are not working in our schools.
11:18 PM on 04/07/2009
And unfortunately, there's no price on getting rid of a thousand toxic kids who compromise the learning process for everyone involved and the toxic parents who not only through a contusion of hissy fits over why teachers can't babysit the very children that they refuse to discipline, but compound the problem with unreasonable demands and lack of support for the means to insure an orderly classroom environment.

For every toxic teacher, there's at least a hundred toxic students, administrators, and members of the local community who pose a far greater portion of the problem
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01:23 AM on 04/08/2009
Thank you!

Many excellent teachers have gotten out of teaching because parents and administrators will not stand behind them when students misbehave to the point of making learning impossible in the classroom..
09:37 PM on 04/07/2009
Sounds great, but maybe we can also break the hold that the munitions industry has on how the majority of us are forced to live our lives in the absence of gun control that could protect the majority from mentally ill individuals ( not the first time this has happened) gaining control of weapons in a horrific short period of time, only to gun down our children, our loved ones, our families, our friends.

When will the insanity end?
Where are our lawmakers and their duty to institute legislation to protect us from this insanity and violence that we are forced to live under while lobbyists for these munitions industries have forked over MILLIONS to OUR ELECTED LEADERS, in exchange for their duty to defend, protect and serve WE, THE PEOPLE, and what is in the BEST INTERESTS of OUR CHILDREN, OUR COMMUNITIES?
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Saxton
07:16 PM on 04/07/2009
Sadly when you really look at school administrators I'm afraid that the majority of these men and women are not really all that bright. These administrators are more interested in keeping the status quo and not challenging the community or the school board when it comes to dealing with bullying. It's one thing for a school to advertise zero tolerance when it comes to bullying but it's another thing to actively enforce the policy.
08:47 PM on 04/07/2009
Indeed. ALthough I feel the aforementioned lawsuit is certainly merited if teachers did indeed participate in the bullying, in the majority of cases, the teachers' hands are tied, and even those who would love to enact stricter standards for disciplining bullies, inlcuding zero-tolerance for physical assaults, can only influence so much when forbidden by the administration from doing so.
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quindy
If repubs don't drive you crazy you are not normal
07:04 PM on 04/07/2009
If parents don't step in and protect their children nobody will. I took my daughter out of the school and subsequently moved to another continent! I know that not everybody can do that, but just changing the school should be the first step. The next step might be a lawsuit against the school district. Lot of things have changed in this country because of the lawsuits. Bullying leaves lifelong scars and schools have no right to ignore it.
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01:40 PM on 04/08/2009
changing schools would be a great idea but sadly our country does not permit such a thing with our public schools. If we had vouchers then parents would have more control over how and what their children were taught as well as with whom but we have a powerful teachers union here that cares more about the status quo than about children.
04:43 PM on 04/07/2009
I'm not advocating this, or saying it would work for everyone, but it did work for me. I went to an all boys high school in the early seventies. The abuse was savage. I knew I wasn't going to be liked or accepted, and I knew I was probably in for hell...so I beat them to the punch. I channeled my inner Ziggy Stardust (it was 1972) and never looked back. Did they start on me? Oh, you bet they did. I never got confrontational and I NEVER acted scared. If someone pushed me as I passed I simply pushed back and went on my way. I conjured up some supreme self confidence that was more act than anything but it worked. It got to the point where I could march right down the middle of the hall and everyone got out of my way. They were terrified of me in a way they couldn't understand. The teachers were horrified, my mother heart-broken. But the bullies turned their attention to weaker prey. To this day I often wonder how I pulled it off, but I did.

But to the issue at hand. I blame the teachers and school administrators 100%. I remember the kids I went to school with who were bullied savage endured it in full view of the faculty. There's no excuse for that. None.
05:20 PM on 04/07/2009
Hurray for you! Alot of us had to deal with this growing up. When I was 16 we moved to another town and I knew I was in for it, but I had been in previous fights with bullies and I had gotten used to taking a hit so the first time I was surrounded and bullied I looked my agressor in the eye and said i wasn't going to fight, he didn't know what to do because I wasn't quaking in fear and crying and when he hit me I just looked him straight in the eye and stood there. This only happened one more time and then I got huge cred. for standing my ground and not fighting. But I can't see this working now days, the bullies have guns.
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06:27 PM on 04/07/2009
Yes, I am afraid that today both of you would just be beaten to a pulp or attacked elsewhere when you least expected it. I'm glad it worked for you then, though.
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Turtleluv6
12:59 PM on 04/08/2009
Administrators and Teachers are not to blame it's the parents who don't discipline their children. People need to quit blaming others for their children's actions. The teacher's aren't raising your kids you are. I you spew hatred about gays, blacks, mexican etc....then your kids spew the same. If a teacher takes action you idiots want to sue the school and the teachers. How many times does the teacher have to contact a parent before they take action in disciplining their child? How many parents take action? Of course their response is I didn't raise my child to be like that so I don't believe you.....Try putting blame on the parents of the children who act out cause 9 times out of ten the parent believes the kid before the school or administration. How many complaints were filed by this kids parents and what actions were taken before they filed suit?
10:46 AM on 04/13/2009
Great point, but it's both. We've seen bullying in our school and I agree there are parental issues that need to be accounted for, but we've seen when incidents happen that the administrators don't punish the perpetrator - they punish the victim! The victim ends up moving to a different school and the perpetrator continues on new prey. This is an issue of accountability on both the parents AND the administrators in that the administrators should be punishing those who are victimizing other students.
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WorkingClass
04:24 PM on 04/07/2009
Boys need men in their lives AND in their schools. American boys are raised, taught and supervised by women. They grow up to be good boys or bad boys. Most of them never become men.
05:17 PM on 04/07/2009
Working class - whats a man to you?
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06:29 PM on 04/07/2009
I agree that boys need positive male role models. If you are a man, I assume you are volunteering your spare time to work with fatherless boys?
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Turtleluv6
01:16 PM on 04/08/2009
Why is it someone else's responsibility to work with fatherless boys? Their mother's should have been more selective in the men they laid down with.
04:23 PM on 04/07/2009
Why don't teachers notice this behavior in schools? I can't believe they don't see. it. It's amazing it's been going on this long. I was a victim of bullies in a french elementary school because I had one english parent. I saw bullies pick on poor kids, whoever was "different". Any reason to pick on someone, and they'll do it. The tragedy of the 17 year-old in this article raises another issue besides gay kids being targeted too, is that something is equally wrong when teenagers can torment or even kill without any conscience.
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06:25 PM on 04/07/2009
Teachers do notice (see below) and many try to help. Without backup by administration, a clear anti-bullying policy that is enforced, and support from parents, this behavior will continue.
07:39 PM on 04/07/2009
This is an important issue, am going do educate myself on our municipal laws about this. Hope you see good results soon!
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03:54 PM on 04/07/2009
First, all administrators need to go through training on how to handle abusive situations in their schools. Without the backup of our administrators, teachers hands are tied.

Several years ago, I had a student who was constantly harassed in my classroom, in the halls, at lunch. . . I went to the Dean of students who had him moved to another of my classes. The harassment did not stop--the torch was just passed to a different group of abusive boys.

When I approached the dean again and asked if he would talk to these boys about NOT making the young man's life a living hell, this administrator said, "Well, just LOOK at him." Yeah, he was small, quiet, polite. . . who wouldn't want to hit him and verbally abuse him all day long.

Though I talked to the young man and offered him after-school tutoring, he still dropped out. I do not know what ever happened to him.

But that dean of students ended up as superintendent of the school district.
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04:58 PM on 04/07/2009
Well, it could certainly be argued that an openly-gay male student is "abusing" the male students surrounding him.

Is this person to be "not only 'permitted,' but 'protected by law' in doing this?" No.

"Your rights end where my child begins."
05:16 PM on 04/07/2009
How in the world can it be argued that somebody expressing themselves is an abuse to their peers? Affirming to the world who you are in a way that is non-violence is never harmful. And yes - law should protect vulnerable youth who are struggling.

Sundial - welcome to america. My rights never end, especially at your child.
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06:21 PM on 04/07/2009
Seriously?

Anyway, this kid was not "openly gay". He was just not very big and was not mean, crude, bullying, loud, obnoxious, disruptive, or any of those other "male" adjectives. He might not even have been gay. But he was perceived as such by the ruling bullies, and so was persecuted.

I cannot even imagine how his mere existence in the world threatened anybody.

I also cannot imagine how an "openly gay" person's existence threatens anyone. What about an "openly fat" child, or an "openly intelligent" one? These kids are permanent bully targets.

I believe that ALL children have the right to attend school un-bullied and unmolested--no matter what they look like or are perceived by others to be.
03:52 PM on 04/07/2009
I have to say that I am glad I'm not a highschool student now...I think, unfortunately, that it's going to get worse before it gets better. Homosexuality is being seen more on tv and in magazines...which will spark parents/preachers/peers to disparage anyone they think may be gay...The reverse of "out of sight, out of mind." Just like every minority, we have suffered, and we will continue to suffer for some time. Let's hope that the tide continues to change.
03:37 PM on 04/07/2009
And the American Heterosexual has the NERVE to condemn and demean Gay & Lesbian citizens???

Furthermore, since the American Heterosexual seems completely incapable of 'protecting the children' (their battle-cry against Gay & Lesbian people on a daily basis) from THEMSELVES how would we EVER expect them to protect the lives of Gay & Lesbian children, when they don't even protect the lives of those children they deem 'worthy?'

When will you realize that your silly Gods cost this world FAR too much.
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03:55 PM on 04/07/2009
I don't understand what this means.