More

Featuring fresh takes and real-time analysis from HuffPost's signature lineup of contributors
Deepak Chopra

GET UPDATES FROM Deepak Chopra
 

Modern Medicine and the Paradox of How We Die

Posted: 05/31/2011 9:27 am

Let me begin by reassuring you that this isn't going to be a grim post. But it begins in an area people are uncomfortable with. We all must die, yet this is one inevitability that almost nobody feels comfortable talking about. That includes doctors and nurses, as was discovered in a newly published study from King's College in London. It surveyed the staff that surrounded dying patients in hospices and found that they witness every common end-of-life experience (ELE). These fall into two types, and one of them will seem very strange.

The first type of ELE seeks final meaning. Near the time of death, people often want to be reconciled with family members who have become estranged, and this desire can be so strong that the moment of death is postponed until the estranged person visits. There is often a desire to put one's affairs in order and to right past wrongs. It is observed that patients who have been semi-conscious will have a moment of sudden lucidity in which they express their dying wishes before lapsing back. This whole category of ELE is psychologically intimate, and a significant number of doctors and nurses feel uncomfortable being present for it. Two inhibitions stand in the way. Doctors spend most of their energy trying to extend life, so learning about dying isn't part of their training. Secondly, it is still considered a sign of weakness for a doctor to feel emotional about death, which leads to distancing himself from the actual experience.

The second type of ELE is labeled transpersonal, although the common word for it would be spooky. Dying patients, far more often than is acknowledged, have highly mystical experiences. They get visions of departed ones who have come to take them away. They sense the transmission of light and love from other realities and can visit those realities. The study found that such ELEs could not be accounted for by the medical state or treatment of the person -- the ELE occurred in clear consciousness.

Yet probably the most uncomfortable ELE in this category was observed by the staff, including seeing something leave the body at the time of death, finding that a peculiar synchronicity occurred, such as the clock stopping at the moment of death. It's more common than you would suppose for relatives who were not present when the dying person passed away to have them appear at the moment of death. Needless to say, modern society is skeptical enough that ridicule and quick dismissal of these transpersonal experiences will arise, even though they have been reported continually in every culture since history has been recorded.

The study makes the point that ELEs, which of course do not occur with every dying person, bring comfort and consolation; they seem to be a natural mechanism that surrounds the climactic event of death. Which brings us to the paradox of how we die. In the 1930s, 80 percent of people still died at home; now more than 80 percent die in the impersonal setting of a hospital. Massive expense is involved in trying to cure the last disease each of us will have, the one we eventually die from. As medical technology shrouds the dying process, as people become more and more discomfited being around it, nature doesn't seem to care. Mind and spirit experience death the old-fashioned way. Happily, the paradox resolves itself in favor of death being much less scary than we imagine. There is every indication that we are meant to die at peace, and so we do.

The breakthrough book in this area was Elisabeth Kubler-Ross's "On Death and Dying," which appeared in 1969; we've had over 40 years to rid ourselves of the suppressed dread and panic that surrounds a natural process. The new London study should help pave the way for even greater clarity and hope about dying, but there is strong resistance still. Kubler-Ross herself, having enjoyed great acclaim for her book, went on to explore the mystical side of ELEs, the transpersonal kind. Her efforts were greeted with hostility by mainstream medicine and various brands of skepticism. In many ways it was a sad turnaround for a brave psychological researcher. Yet, in the end I think Kubler-Ross, whom I knew when she herself was dying in 2004, will be vindicated. There is much more to dying than lying in bed connected to tubes and praying that you will "go into the light." The real light we need to shine is here and now. What awaits a great many people is that mysterious thing, a good death, and we would do well to realize that.

Deepak Chopra on Intent.com
deepakchopra.com

 
 
 

Follow Deepak Chopra on Twitter: www.twitter.com/DeepakChopra

Let me begin by reassuring you that this isn't going to be a grim post. But it begins in an area people are uncomfortable with. We all must die, yet this is one inevitability that almost nobody feels ...
Let me begin by reassuring you that this isn't going to be a grim post. But it begins in an area people are uncomfortable with. We all must die, yet this is one inevitability that almost nobody feels ...
 
 
  • Comments
  • 146
  • Pending Comments
  • 0
  • View FAQ
Comments are closed for this entry
View All
Favorites
Bloggers
Recency  | 
Popularity
Page: 1 2 3  Next ›  Last »  (3 total)
03:17 AM on 07/12/2011
Death is easy. Everybody dies. The hard part is in the dying. Luckily I reside in one of two states where citizens voted on the right to choose a death. Anyone who is a resident in either state, if advised of a
terminal health condition by their M.D. can made a self-determination. Return with the written health
prognosis and ask an M.D. for lethal assistance. You'll recieve written and dated notice that a legal
process has been initiated. Wait 15 days and return to repeat request. You'll recieve written and dated notice that this process portion was completed. Then you take both official forms and find a drug store
that will make an easy death. When and where you die is up to you. Most who have completed this
have done so with family. I voted for this. I value my right of choice. I don't fear this last passage.
Feel free to drag your entire state kicking and screaming into these same legal circumstances.
02:17 AM on 06/04/2011
Death is an illusion.
photo
Michael Vollmer
And I am all out of bubblegum!
01:45 AM on 06/03/2011
While I often agree with Deepak, on the issue of how we die my experience is quite different.

From my extended time as a nursing home patient, where on multiple occasions I laid as quadriplegic just a few feet from room-mates during their final hours, to my own struggles to beat an unbeatable illness where I've brushed against my own finalllty too frequently, I do not see dying as a peaceful or mystical experience at all.

Most of the dying I've experienced involved pain, confusion and excrement. Instead of the appearance of loved ones the dying have around them a Nursing Assistant annoyed that this is going to cut into her smoking break and an Administrator worried about finding a warm body to put in the death-bed so the revenue keeps coming.

I do not fear death, I fear dying. A few years ago I would have said I wanted to meet death with my eyes wide open; but after the agony, chaos and sh*t, I now plead with God to call me home suddenly while I am asleep.

Be assured, I LOVE LIFE, that's why I know that if dyiing is extended while I am awake I'll fight for all I'm worth to keep life regardless of the pain, confusion and loss of bowels Not only have I witnessed it, I've been there, done that. And it sucks. Nothing peaceful or mystical about it, just pain, confusion and sh*t.
12:36 PM on 06/29/2011
Since my other reply was 'aborted', I'll try this way.
My best friend, just this morning, basically said the same thing. But then, my best friend
sees the world differently than I do. He divides everything, everything, in to two categories--
against him... for him. That's his perception of life. He also believes everyone is essentially
out to 'get him', foil his plans, knock him down, and that he is so important to the world that
people 'watch him'. He is also a 'product' of a Catholic upbringing, if that tells you anything.

One's beliefs will present them with the world they BELIEVE in.
If you don't like your world, change your beliefs about it. Its really that simple.
03:37 AM on 07/13/2011
My experience of death is totally at odds with your own, granted, more broad experience.

My husband passed here in Thailand over a year ago. He'd had liver cancer for a year and didn't know it. Mercifully an embulism put paid to any prolonged suffering and he lasted just 3 weeks after his diagnosis during which he barely spoke. I had him released from the hospital to pass in the peace and tranquility of our lovely home here.

One morning I heard him laughing and talking, in Thai, to someone unseen by me. I asked who he'd been speaking to but he merely looked at me as if I'd interrupted his conversation. I put on his favourite cd and he was tapping his foot along to it right up until he left, with the sweetest smile on his face. I could see 'he' was no longer there. And no, there was no shit.
11:32 AM on 06/02/2011
Selection bias anyone?
11:02 AM on 06/02/2011
When I was a kid, about 3 or 4 I would tell my mother, "When I was a policeman I used to arrest everyone in the whole wide world."
Well..evidently I was a cop in a former life and have broken a few laws in this one and now I've had to pay for them..
But there's an alternate theory which would probably hold up in court..I was a kid with a vivid imagination.
Now I'm not saying any of you didn't actually DIE, visit the Woo of Oz then come back to life to tell us about it or that 'some doctors" haven't observed some magic spirit leaving bodies then hopping right back in or even some people are just making stuff up to capitalize on it... No wait.. Hold on.. Yes, indeed that is exactly what I'm saying.
This whole afterlife thing is merely fear and imagination. Imagination when you're stressed is pretty powerful stuff. When you're walking through the house at night and it's pitch dark then you hear a strange noise so you grab the nearest used toilet paper roll to protect yourself from the boogieman... Well... Consider what your mind is conjuring up..
04:09 AM on 07/13/2011
And you're so very very sure ...
10:04 AM on 06/02/2011
Wow.. Jesus Christ has nothing on some of you nilly willies does he? He merely died and went straight on up to hevun, but YOU have died multiple times and mysteriously have come back to let us all know what the woo has in store..
Well! Why aren't you being followed by billions around the globe? Why didn't you take your cell phones and take pictures? I want to see what the woo looks like..
12:06 AM on 06/29/2011
You will, in due time.
03:26 AM on 07/12/2011
"...due time"?
Let's suppose this is a case that's overdue.
I like to see a penalty for time loss at check-out.
Like, advance notice or that light that's
supposed to be at the end of your tunnel.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
leorangerie
01:35 AM on 06/02/2011
I very much respect an intelligent discourse on the art and inevitability of dying. In our youth obsessed America, if we don't learn to die properly it will be our final regret. With no left to rectify it.
Star2000dancer
Pay it forward, the movie..
09:15 PM on 06/02/2011
Agree. I did not always feel that way though. But I was a seeker and picked up so many more thoughts and ideas as I traveled. I imagine it depends on what you're born into. Then it's up to you to find your own ideas.
11:13 PM on 06/01/2011
I feel like society tells us death is something to fear. That's why we try to milk every second of life we can with medical treatment when a terminal illness comes our way. I know that I will want to die in my home. Not some random room in a hospital.
Star2000dancer
Pay it forward, the movie..
09:15 PM on 06/02/2011
That was my Mom's only wish too.
photo
french queen13
my beloved is mine and I am his
10:48 PM on 06/01/2011
I truly hope the second ELE is what I have. I know my beloved is waiting for me and he's promised (not that he needed to) that he will be there come the time - I just hope I'm aware of him!
photo
PoliSci2008
Life Long Democrat
03:26 PM on 06/30/2011
You will, and he'll be there to welcome you home! (smile).
photo
CaroleK1970
I want my country forward
01:46 PM on 06/01/2011
http://www.nderf.org/

best resource for death, amazing reading under the 'CURRENT NDE's' tab
Star2000dancer
Pay it forward, the movie..
07:41 PM on 06/01/2011
You'd like Louisa L. Hay's works too.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Mother77
11:24 AM on 06/01/2011
In the last 30 years, much has been written on this subject starting with Raymond Moody's work and E. Kubler-Ross's. Then, came Stephen Levine's many books discussing death. His web site is:http://www.personaltransformation.com/Levine.html and it is worth reading. Thank you, Deepak, for the blog.
06:18 PM on 06/02/2011
In the 1970s, I used to live in southern California just a few miles from where Elizabeth Kübler-Ross became crazy involved with the "entities" cult that was involved with sexual exploitations. I have a lot of respect for her writings and support of the hospice movement but she was way out on the edge otherwise!
photo
PoliSci2008
Life Long Democrat
03:45 PM on 06/30/2011
F & F for knowing of Dr. Raymond Moody!
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
VJSleight
Tobacco Treatment Specialist
10:00 AM on 06/01/2011
Death--the most thrilling experience of all, that's why they save it for last.
www.stopsmokingstayquit.blogspot.com
Star2000dancer
Pay it forward, the movie..
06:25 PM on 06/01/2011
Fanned comment
photo
french queen13
my beloved is mine and I am his
10:49 PM on 06/01/2011
Great way of describing it! It's the start of the rest of life, to me. :)
Star2000dancer
Pay it forward, the movie..
09:17 PM on 06/02/2011
You betcha'! Great ava.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
ncyim
09:56 AM on 06/01/2011
I've died a few times and remember the experience of looking down at my corpse with indifference/ peace. The first time I was pushed back into my body by a rush of air coming from behind me. The second time I was shoved from behind back into this mangled bag of bones. These types of experiences taught me to leave my body during meditation - a very dangerous adventure for non-Shamans! I thought I was just imagining it all, but then during one of my trips out of my bedroom window and onto the Main St of my town, I found the police watching my apartment - I immediately curtailed my weed biz and prepared for the impending raid. Whew! That was close!

I think that Reiki and other energy practices are the best for connecting with the other dimensions and the spirit world. IMO: It is our responsibility as animals to fight for our lives, but death is ok, nothing to worry about.
Star2000dancer
Pay it forward, the movie..
06:42 PM on 06/01/2011
Both times my mom died she was in a hospital hovering over her body, and she saw the light.

She described everyone in the room, where they were standing, and what they said. She chose to go back. Strange that hospice finally got her, and she did not even want to go.

I had a friend who babbled in the dark arts. She also died twice, and both times saw a horrible demonic presense trying to grab her both times. The red one scared her the most.

When my mom was in hospice the 1st time, I saw a huge white, bright angel figure that covered the whole wall behind her. I pulled her out of hospice that time.. The 1st time I tore up the papers before they could give her the "cocktail".

I was amazed the proxies could sign her into hospice over a panic attack or a sciatic nerve. But,hospital personal are really not trained to fix those. They'd always put her in ICCU, then weeks of recovery
photo
Tykster
I'm beyond belief...
07:58 PM on 06/01/2011
Did you copy and paste this from The Onion, it's worthy.
06:58 AM on 06/01/2011
I like this message, but am skeptical that there are not also a good number of difficult deaths, people being what they are. The total lack of power may cause most to surrender, but many would resist, too. I think we're missing the other side of the story here, which would be helpful, because if we know what torments people on their deathbeds, perhaps we can prepare and avoid that.
Star2000dancer
Pay it forward, the movie..
06:44 PM on 06/01/2011
There are plenty, but apparently America is not ready to address those. Big Phara must make their profit.
04:49 AM on 06/01/2011
A beautiful piece. I have no doubt that Kubler-Ross will be vindicated as the gap between science and the spiritual becomes less and less.

I am so fortunate in that I have always felt my body a "vehicle" and have never doubted that it was only a vessel for my consciousness. As a Hindu convert some thirty years ago, I see the soul as a very real thing. I communicate with the dead as easily as the living. My Mom scolds me and urges me not to be so penurious. My Dad wipes away tears when they flow. I feel them everywhere.

I have no use for "religion" ... and only tolerate medicine for its original purpose ... which was NOT to extend pain and suffering .... not to use extreme methods to delay the inevitable ... painfully and without dignity. I have no need for false "rules" and "moralities" which seem to me so very strange. What merciful God requires these terrible extremes to extend physical life when the soul is so ready to join Him. Would He not encourage us to pass over peacefully and as painlessly as possible. Where is that mercy?
Star2000dancer
Pay it forward, the movie..
06:46 PM on 06/01/2011
Fanned comment. I wish I could explain that as beautifully as you did.
04:22 AM on 07/13/2011
+ 1
photo
french queen13
my beloved is mine and I am his
10:53 PM on 06/01/2011
Lovely way to put it. I follow no religion, but your comments speak for me, too.