The Maharishi Years - The Untold Story: Recollections of a Former Disciple

August 1, 1991 saw the publication of my book, Perfect Health, a popular guide to Ayurveda that came at the height of my involvement with Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. Although I had been meditating less than a decade in comparison with TM meditators who went back to the '60s, my association with Maharishi quickly became personal. He felt comfortable around other Indians and had a special regard for trained scientists and physicians. In return I had a deep fascination with enlightenment and the almost supernatural status of gurus. A few days before the book's publication, I was in Fairfield, Iowa, to participate in a meditation course. Maharishi was supposed to address the assembly on speaker phone from India, but the phone call didn't come through at the appointed time. We all dispersed.

A couple of hours later when I was in meditation I had a vision of Maharishi lying in a hospital bed with intravenous tubes in his body breathing on a respirator. I quickly got out of the meditation and phoned my parents in New Delhi. My mother picked up the phone and told me that Maharishi was very sick. "They think he's been poisoned. Come quickly," she said. I asked to speak to my father, who was a cardiologist. She said, "Your father isn't here. He's taking care of Maharishi." This began a journey that took me to the very heart of who the guru is and who he is expected to be. The two can be in jarring opposition.

I immediately left Fairfield for Chicago, where a wealthy TM donor had been kind enough to charter a plane for me. When I arrived in Delhi, it was past midnight. I first went home. My father was not there, and my mother told me he was still with Maharishi in a house in Golflinks, a private reserve in the city. One room had been converted into an intensive care unit presided over by my father and other doctors. I arrived at the house at 2:00 am, and when I entered the makeshift ICU I saw Maharishi lying unconscious in a bed with IV tubes and a respirator just as I had foreseen. My father informed me darkly that after drinking a glass of orange juice given to him by "a foreign disciple," Maharishi had suffered severe abdominal pain and inflammation of the pancreas, along with kidney failure followed by a heart attack. Poisoning was suspected. Over the next few days Maharishi's condition worsened. The pancreas and kidney functions continued to deteriorate, and his heart didn't improve. My father was of the opinion that Maharishi should be taken to England for a course of kidney dialysis. The Indian TM organization, centered around Maharishi's nephews, Prakash and Anand Shrivastava, were adamant that no one in the movement should find out that Maharishi was grievously ill. The rationale was that his followers would panic and lose faith.

I found myself torn, because Maharishi had long presented himself as being far from the typical Hindu guru. He did not assert his own divinity. He credited his entire career to his own master, Guru Dev. He seemed indifferent to the cult of personality and the aura of superstition surrounding gurus, which includes the notion that they have perfect control over mind and body and hold the secret of immortality. But deeper than that, Maharishi wasn't a religious figure. Although he had taken vows as a monk, he brought a technique to the West, Transcendental Meditation, that was entirely secular and even scientific. Indeed, his lasting memory will probably be that he convinced Westerners of the physical and mental benefits of a purely mechanical non-religious approach to consciousness. I was troubled that his falling ill had to be hidden essentially to preserve the image of a superhuman being who couldn't get sick like mere mortals.

There was one person the Indian inner circle chose to trust, however. He was Neil Paterson, a Canadian who had been chosen by Maharishi as chief spokesman and de facto head of the movement. Neil and I flew to England and made arrangements for Maharishi to be admitted to a private hospital on Harley Street. My father and two other doctors chartered a plane and brought Maharishi to London. I remember standing outside the London Heart Hospital, watching an ambulance navigate the snarled traffic, sirens wailing. Just before it arrived on the hospital's doorstep, one of the accompanying doctors ran up with the news that Maharishi had suddenly died. I rushed to the ambulance, picking Maharishi's body up -- he was frail and light by this time - and carrying him in my arms through London traffic.

I laid him on the floor inside the hospital's doors and called for a cardio assist. Within minutes he was revived and rushed to intensive care on a respirator and fitted with a pacemaker that took over his heartbeat. The attending physician felt that Maharishi was clinically dead. My father suggested that we keep him on life support, however, until the family gave permission to take him off. As fate would have it, after 24 to 36 hours the attending informed us that Maharishi was recovering miraculously. His kidney function was returning to normal, his heart was beating independent of the pacemaker, and he had started to breathe on his own. Within a few days he was sitting up in bed, drinking milk with honey. The doctor could not explain this recovery; everyone in the hospital, including his nurses, were awestruck, not just by the turn-around but by his presence, which induced a sense of peace in anyone who came near.

Let me pause here to reflect on the strange juxtapositions at work. I genuinely felt in the midst of the crisis that I was fulfilling a purpose beyond myself. A series of circumstances had brought me to the very moment when someone had to intervene to save Maharishi's life, and it was as if the universe had conspired to carry me to that moment. At the same time, he exhibited both the all-too-human qualities found in every holy man and other qualities one associates with the superhuman. I had the distinct sensation of standing on the border between two worlds, or should one say two versions of the human condition? It was easy to believe that other disciples in another time felt much the same in the presence of Jesus or Buddha.

Maharishi's complete recovery happened slowly. There was a point where the doctor informed us that he had severe anemia and needed a blood transfusion. When they typed and cross-matched Maharishi's blood, I turned out to be the only match - this, of course, only increased my sense of being a participant in a drama shaped by forces outside myself. When he was informed about the situation, however, Maharishi refused to accept my blood but would give no reason. Considering that much had been made of how he had studied physics in college and had insisted on the scientific validity of TM, this was a baffling decision. Then I had a sudden insight. He didn't want my blood because he didn't want my karma. After all, I had been a smoker, had indulged in alcohol and sex and had even experimented with LSD years before. I went to Maharishi and confronted him with my realization. I asked if he believed that karma could be transmitted in the blood. He responded reluctantly, "That's true." I told him that red blood cells do not have a nucleus and therefore contain no DNA. Without genetic information my blood would only be giving him the hemoglobin he needed without karmic infection. At first he was suspicious, but I had the hematologist explain to him that memory and information is not transferred through a red blood transfusion. Eventually he accepted my blood. As he regained strength, we removed him from the hospital, and he was brought to a London hotel to continue recuperating.
This began a period of increased intimacy between us. We would go for long walks in Hyde Park, which felt strange given the complete blackout of news to the TM movement, which was told that Maharishi had decided to go into silence for the time being. On one occasion, a stranger ran up to us in the park and asked, "Aren't you the guru of the Beatles?" My wife Rita, who had joined us that day, quickly interjected, "He's my father-in-law. Please leave him alone." In the end we felt that staying in London risked unnecessary publicity. So Maharishi was moved to a country home in the southwest of England where I spent hours personally nursing him. He took the occasion to give me deep insight and knowledge about Vedanta. He also gave me advanced meditation techniques. Those languid weeks and months alone with Maharishi, except for the servants who cooked and served his meals, were the most precious days of my life. I grew very fond of him and he evoked a love in me that I had never experienced before. In turn, I realized that he was also getting fond of me. We discussed just about every topic in the world from politics (on which he had very strong opinions) to human relationships (which he thought were full of melodrama) to the nature of consciousness (his favorite subject). Yet I still remained on the cusp of an uneasy truce between the physical frailty of an old man who at times could be fretful and worried and a guru whose mortality was like an admission of imperfection.

In all, Maharishi was out of circulation for almost a year; few in the TM movement knew where he was, and almost no one was willing to concede that he had been sick. After he was fully recovered we flew him via helicopter back to his chosen residence, which wasn't in either India or the U.S. but the obscure village of Vlodrop in Holland. It would be impossible to calculate how many disciples and even casual TM meditators would have given anything for personal time with Maharishi. Because of his mass appeal and his undeniable presence, there were many who cherished a moment with him as the most precious in their lives. Yet I was growing increasingly disturbed by contradictions I couldn't reconcile.

Maharishi had spent decades traveling the globe to promote TM; now he remained permanently in Vlodrop while I was sent, as one of his main emissaries, on a routine of almost constant jet travel. He aimed at ever-increasing expansion. Eastern Europe and the Soviet bloc were opened up to meditation. Gradually so was the Islamic world, which resisted TM in large part because the initiation ceremony included a picture of Maharishi's teacher sitting on an altar, which went against the Muslim prohibition over depicting God or holy men. Everywhere I went I was given the respect accorded to my guru, bringing with it a level of pomp and ceremony that verged on veneration. Not only did this make me uncomfortable personally, but I wondered why Maharishi, the first "modern" guru, allowed and encouraged it. It seemed inconsistent with Vedanta's central theme that the material world is illusion, not to mention the freedom from materialism that is expected of one who is enlightened.

Ironically, the respect shown to me in his name came to be my undoing. Maharishi started to give me the perception (perhaps that was my own projection) that he felt I was competing with him in a spiritual popularity contest. On more than one occasion, he casually mentioned that I was seeking adulation for myself. This was odd considering that he had been the one who thrust me forward in the first place, and who insisted on piling tributes on me that I had no choice but to accept whatever my embarrassment. The situation came to a head. In July, 1993, during the celebration of Guru Purnima, I went to see Maharishi in his private rooms to pay my respects. It was close to midnight after all the day's public ceremonies had ended. Rita and I entered the room in near darkness. Besides Maharishi, the only person present was a TM higher up, Benny Feldman, who kept silent as Maharishi said, "People are telling me that you are competing with me."

At that point I had only heard indirect reports about his displeasure; this was the first time, in fact, that Maharishi had shown anything but the highest trust in me. It was true that after his medical crisis he refused to discuss his health and took pains to indicate that where once I had been his physician, now I was to consider myself in the former position of disciple. Actually, I admired him for this. It would have been impertinent for me to take any other role. To be in the presence of someone like Maharishi is to realize an immense gulf in consciousness. His physical status continued to be amazingly strong considering what he had been through.

Here he was now, in my eyes, playing the part of an irascible, jealous old man whose pride had been hurt. For my part, I was dismayed that he might believe the rumors. Then he made a demand. "I want you to stop traveling and live here at the ashram with me." He also wanted me to stop writing books. After delivering what amounted to an ultimatum, I was given twenty-four hours to make up my mind.

It was a critical moment. Then and there I had to consider the entirety of the guru-disciple relationship. To anyone outside India, much misunderstanding surrounds the whole issue of taking on an enlightened teacher. To begin with, there is a Western predisposition to doubt that enlightenment could be real except as personified in Buddha or a limited number of saints and sages who existed centuries ago. There is also a sense in the West that following a guru is tantamount to surrendering your personal identity, your bank account, and your dignity. None of these issues concerned me, however. In the role of guru Maharishi was authentic, dignified, respectful, and accepting. In addition, he was personally lovable and a joy to be around (even if one had to suffer patiently through discourses that lasted many hours and that circled around the same basic points.) The dilemma I faced was more fundamental: Can a real guru be unfair, jealous, biased, and ultimately manipulative?

For a devotee, the answer is unquestionably yes. The role of a disciple isn't to question a guru, but the exact opposite: Whatever the guru says, however strange, capricious, or unfair, is taken to be truth. The disciple's role is to accommodate to the truth, and if it takes struggle and "ego death" to do that, the spiritual fruits of obedience are well worth it. A guru speaks for God and pure consciousness; therefore, his words are a direct communication from Brahman, who knows us better than we know ourselves. In essence the guru is like a superhuman parent who guides our steps until we can walk on our own. Was Maharishi doing that to me?

I never found out, because practical considerations loomed large at that moment. I had a family with children in school, a wife who decidedly did not want to live an ashram life, and no visible means of support if I stopped producing books and giving lectures. I told Maharishi that I didn't need twenty-four hours to make my decision. I would leave immediately and not return. With some surprise he asked me why. I told him that I had no ambitions to be a guru myself - the very idea appalled me. I was dismayed that he would believe such rumors. It was beyond my imagination for anyone to compare me to him or that I would have the gall to do the same.

It's only after his death that I feel free to divulge this final parting of ways. To outsiders it will seem like a tempest in a teapot, but in my leaving the TM movement it was widely rumored that I wanted to be the guru of my own movement. While the media casually refers to any spokesperson from the East as a guru, but that doesn't diminish the fact that Maharishi actually was a guru and great Rishi of the Vedic tradition, while I am a doctor who loved the philosophy of Vedanta and also loved articulating it for the man on the street. I said goodbye to Maharishi, took Rita's hand, and walked away. We drove from Vlodrop to Amsterdam in the middle of the night and took a plane to Boston. When we arrived home in Lincoln, Massachusetts, the phone was ringing. A contrite and forgiving Maharishi was on the line. He said, "You are my son, you will inherit all that I have created. Come back and all will be yours."

I replied that I didn't want what he was offering. I loved the knowledge of Vedanta and wanted to devote myself to it. By the end of the conversation, however, I relented and told him that I would think about it. In the ensuing months I was approached by medical institutions and universities to introduce Ayurveda and TM as part of their programs. However, when I contacted Maharishi and the movement with these promising prospects I was told that I shouldn't pursue these offers. At the same time decisions were made to raise the cost of TM astronomically, putting it out of reach for ordinary people. On January 12, 1994 I went back to Vlodrop for the annual New Year's celebration and told Maharishi that I was leaving permanently. I expressed my immeasurable gratitude to him and told him that I would love him forever. When we parted, he said, "Whatever you do will be the right decision for you. I will love you, but I will also be indifferent to you from now on."

At first his being indifferent felt very hurtful, but then I realized that Maharishi was offering love with detachment, the mark of a great sage. I remembered one of his favorite remarks, which he once directed to me: "I love you, but it's none of your business." What followed for me was the arc of a public career that became more acceptable to the outside world once I was no longer aligned with a guru. In some people's eyes I dropped Maharishi in order to launch myself. This perception has led to recriminations in the TM movement. One is faced with the sad spectacle of people striving to gain enlightenment while at the same vilifying anyone who dares to stray from the fold. Nothing I did after leaving Maharishi was premeditated. I later visited the Shankaracharya of Jyotir Math and told him about my situation. His response was sympathetic: he told me that I remained an exponent of Vedanta for the West and was therefore true to the tradition.

I believe that Maharishi would have been the first to agree. It's not possible to stray from the one reality, and if Maharishi the personality couldn't give his blessing, at a deeper level Maharishi the guru was doing his job of coaxing consciousness to expand. There was no way for me to reconcile the two opposites back then, but I have come to realize that I never needed to. All opposites are reconciled in unity consciousness, the state that Maharishi was in and the state I aspire to every day.

Comments

[108]

What is Chopra"s motivation to sell me his self-absorbed, self-serving, and self- promoting story at the delicate time of Maharishi"s passing. Why does he need an audience to hear him degrade Maharishi as a petty and jealous man, whose ego and pride feels competitive and threatened by Chopra, and at the same time promotes himself as the glorious hero. It sounds like Maharishi knew Chopra better than he knew himself after all.

Clearly in the simplest of terms, Chopra"s own heart and pride is being reflected back to him. This is what happens. He hints at it, but is unwilling to accept it. He instead blames it on Maharishi and leaves. For someone else with a different make up, their emotional baggage might come up for them too, but it would be different stuff according to who they are. For Chopra it was jealousy, pride, and ego. I have seen many "Chopras" come and go in the TM Movement. It is a difficult position. When you are close to Maharishi, you willingly step right into the fire of purification. In addition like Maharishi, your sole focus around the clock with unending hours and very little sleep is to serve humankind without any personal profit. There are only a handful of rare individuals that have continued to serve Maharishi in that kind of intense capacity.

It is interesting that Chopra voices concern about the opinion of millions of TM meditators who may think he "dropped Maharishi in order to launch himself" and at the same time calls them a "sad spectacle of people trying to gain enlightenment."

The only sad spectacle that I see is someone still stuck in their own crap of fifteen years ago and still blaming it on someone else.

To quote Maharishi: "The world is as we are."

[guyharvey108]

Dear Dr. Chopra,

I have just returned from India where I attended the final rites for Maharishi. The whole experience was beyond time and space and beyond words.

I just want to say on behalf of everyone in Maharishi's movement that we have profound love for you and appreciation of the service you provided to Maharishi and the movement.

I would also like to say that coming from the deepest levels of our hearts that we support you on your path and any feeling of separation between you and Maharishi's followers is purely an illusion.

I hope that all sides can drop the "he said, who said" discussions.

I will leave you with a beautiful quote from a Shankaracharya. It's for you and for all of us and maybe we all can take note the part about being "care-free".
Love and blessings to you Deepak.

"There is no time limit for self-realization. It could
happen quickly in minutes, or take as long as one
could take. Once mind is stilled and impurities
cleared, then one is near the goal. The time factor
depends on the level of Being.

The guru is always with the disciple. There is no
question of leaving him at all. The guru will never
leave him unless he sees the disciple reach his goal
of self-realization. Even death would not break the
relationship, so one should be carefree because the
help from the guru is assured.

As long as realization hasn't been achieved by the
disciple, a mental picture remains in the mind of the
self-realized man until the disciple has reached his
goal and they are united. One can be very sure of
being cared for." ~ Shantanand Saraswati

[guyharvey108]

I realize after making this post that I am not really in a position to speak on behalf of anyone in Maharishi's movement and this was an error in judgment on my part. I apologize for any inconvenience or offense this may have caused.
Blessings to you all, the journey continues.
Jai Guru Dev

[Tony108]

Dear Mr. Chopra,

I post an email I just receive and I'd like to hear you response.

Kind Regards,

Antonino

Dear Friends:
I am an Indian physician who was Maharishiji's personal physician at
the time that Dr Deepak Chopra was assisting Maharishiji in England ,
as per his article entitled "The Maharishi Years - the Untold
Story". I must inform you that his article is replete with untruths
and inaccuracies. I was at Maharishiji's side during the entire
incident. Some of the details of the article that I know to be
untrue are as follows:
*there was no blood transfusion from Dr Chopra;
*Maharishi was not on a ventilator and was not pronounced dead as
claimed;
*he did not have kidney failure at all at that time;
*Dr Chopra's father attended Maharishi in India , but not in London ;
*there was no helicopter involved;
*Dr Chopra did not carry Maharishiji in his arms into the hospital.

Dr Chopra was handsomely paid for his services by the movement. These
facts can be corroborated by Prakash and Kirti from the Indian TM
movement and Maharishiji's medical records would bear this out as
well. There were two other Indian physicians involved, both of whom
were instructed in TM by Farrokh. They can confirm the facts as well.

Dr G. M.
Please note that Dr G M is an outstanding Indian Governor responsible
for single-handedly creating the first group of 8,000 pundits in
India . He is a Maharishi-trained TM-Sidhi instructor and teacher of
Advanced Techniques.
Farrokh & Ruffina

[108]

What is Chopra"s need to publicly reconcile and justify the manner in which he left Maharishi? The meditators that I know could care less and they all wished him well on his own path.

Perhaps Chopra is haunted by his own past demons. Here"s what he chooses not to tell you in his ego-centric hero-story:

Chopra opens his story plugging his national #1 bestseller, Perfect Health which launched him into stardom. What he doesn"t say is that the book was co-authored by Maharishi"s Movement and uses Chopra"s voice to explain the principles of the then lost tradition of Ayurvedic Medicine. Maharishi"s followers around the country pre-bought the book in advance to launch it into an instant best-seller before a single copy was opened, making Ayurveda, Chopra, and anti-oxidants common household names. Maharishi"s followers did this with three of his books as I recall, two of which became best sellers. It was at this time of great public success as a national best-selling author, catapulted by Maharishi and his Movement, that Chopra left Maharishi and pursued his own personal fame and fortune. He opened up successful clinics selling his own ripped off version of Maharishi Ayurvedic herbs, products, and treatments at costs that he criticizes Maharishi for.

When Chopra left Maharishi, he agreed not to use Maharishi"s name in any way. In fact reprints of Chopra"s earlier books have removed all mention of Maharishi"s name and Chopra"s gratitude to him. This is why I find it so disturbing that at the moment of Maharishi"s passing, Chopra chooses to write articles degrading Maharishi"s name. Is he really that self-absorbed, self-promoting and calloused?



And in terms of Chopra"s whining about whether he received Maharishi"s blessings or not, Wake up dude and take a look at what has unfolded in your life since you met Maharishi, and tell me that you haven"t been abundantly blessed. Maybe a better question is can a person enjoy the grace and blessings of the Divine when he"s too busy seeing the world through bitter, jealous, and manipulative eyes?

[vedicexpansion]

I am writing because I had a vivid dream about you . I am also MD, trained in ayurveda. Maharishi of course did not think you were a competition to him and was not jealous! Maharishi is in unity consciousness, where one sees everything in terms of one"s own Self, and where there is no "other" to be afraid of and no "other" to be jealous of . Maharishi was trying to help you to stay a surrendered disciple so you could get full enlightenment. Only when the disciple surrenders can the Master give him those inner experiences that will lead to enlightenment and Maharishi wanted to give you that by inviting you to the ashram. Enlightenment is something you have to surrender for -and let go of attachments, bondage, and material life. Maharishi was trying to help you to surrender. But you and your wife were not ready to give up materialism " perhaps since you are Indian in America? People from India with American lifestyle probably get attached to material values due India"s poverty and due to being cut off from their mother tongue and roots. You have a brilliant intellectual understanding of vedic science " but the inner experience of it is partly missing. That inner experience will come by long meditations, long roundings with yogic flying in a large group, and by surrender to Maharishi" as he has only one goal: your welfare, your growth, your health and your full enlightenment. It was not wrong that you were not ready for this quantum leap - it means you have not yet been saturated with the sensory experiences of a materialistic life with politics, money, family, sports, TV, books, etc. A time will come when you are saturated" then you will be ready and then Maharishi will be there to enlighten you! He is waiting for you with open arms" lovingly and patiently giving your soul time to evolve until again he will give you another opportunity to surrender. Until then, he wants you to at least remember your true status as Dhanvantari of Heaven on Earth.

[ilouie]

vedicexpansion,
Please read my post below (02/21/2008). I believe it is relevant. The traditional relationship of Guru and devotee is possible for a very limited group of people in today's modern world, especially in the West. I don't believe it is a failure or a lack of readiness on the part of anyone who cannot 'surrender' to a Guru. It simply is a model of reality that is no longer feasible for most people. In some ways, that's one of the reasons Maharishi was so successful - he was able to offer opportunity for insight and enlightenment in the form of a technique - thereby expanding the possibility of enlightenment to the majority of people on the planet. We need to develop new models which honor the Guru in a way that is plausible now. I believe Maharishi was a forerunner in this regards and so is Dr. Chopra in his own way.
Thanks for listening.

[guyharvey108]

I thought for several days about Dr. Chopra's article and I came to almost all the same conclusions as you expressed in your dream sequence.

Thank for bringing higher light to this discussion. I am completely at peace with all of this now.

[ilouie]

Thank you Dr. Chopra for what I consider the best and most intimate sharing I've found since Maharishi's passing. The seeming contradiction between a Guru or an enlightened being's actions and words, and our expectations, is one of the profoundest teachings. I have had the honor of learning from several Gurus and they all were markedly different than the stereotypical fantasies of a Christ or a Gandhi. I believe that Yoga and Buddhism are both in cultural transition which has limited the possible models in which a disciple or student can interpret a Guru's behavior. This scenario seems complicated by the fact that most Gurus, to date, learned in a different culture, with a different set of possibilities available; leading to a natural projection of their cultural model on to Western students. I don't believe Maharishi or most Gurus had any ill intentions. It's going to take generations before a new vital model of this sacred and essential relationship is developed. But it won't start developing until we stop blaming and start looking deeper into ourselves.

[naggieclarke]

I found this so amazing to read! It explains a lot. I started TM as a college student in 1973 and the sidhis 6 years later. I met you, Deepak, twice while you were in the movement (I had the pleasure of getting an advanced technique from you at Mercy Center in CT) and it seemed to me that Maharishi was "grooming you" so to speak, lauding you with titles, etc. so that everyone would know and agree you would take over when he died. After all, one of his favorite sayings was Well begun is half done.

So after the near death experience it looks like he realized he hadn't done enough to perpetuate the knowledge for all time and needed to get started with some serious changes. It all makes sense to me now. The rise in initiation fees (which I thought was really ill-advised at the time, and still do) would pay for a physical infrastructure. He also needed to establish an agreed-upon human infrastructure to run and perpetuate the movement. He needed to find a leader who understood him, the knowledge, and the ideals (the Vedanta). I can understand why you couldn't do it; it's unfortunate, as you would have done a great job, but I do understand. I hope that Rajaraam and the other rajas in the intricate and large human infrastructure that he did set up to take over will be able to continue what Maharishi began well.
-- Maggie Clarke, Ph.D.

[Adamus]

Even though this is years later, thank you for sharing what you saw behind the curtain, Deepak. It wasn't as pretty or as "enlightened" as Maharishi and his followers would have preferred, so the "spiritual swift boaters" will be all over this to sanitize history... But hopefully all the stories will come out now, because, of course, Maharishi was a man - he had a leading edge enlightenment, and a trailing edge shadow. This is what you and others (myself included) struggled to reconcile within the traditional guru-disciple frame. Maharishi was no more or less divine than you or me. He had gifts, but unfortunately, to some extent, they were co-opted by his shadow. Ultimately, he could not transcend away his emotional wound-based shadow and that's why he was an enlightened guru who was also "jealous, biased and ultimately manipulative."

I was a TM teacher for 25 years. I heard Maharishi talk about how his teaching would never go into the field of emotions because there would be no end. But we all feel suffering emotionally, and emotional wounds cannot be healed by a mental technique. This is why, even after years of transcending, I felt something was missing inside. Like many others, I floated rather than incarnating more fully. Maharishi's example was to go up and out. But TM was a starting point. If Maharishi had done his personal work to heal his own issues, he could have truly helped millions. Instead, his own unconscious wounds attracted followers who pedestalized him as a superhuman parent. With his name and picture plastered on everything, and by taking credit for everything from reduction of crime to stock market increases and even world peace, Maharishi is a poster child for the current epidemic of spiritual narcissism. He will go down in history as the guru to the Beatles and a marketing genius. As for the TM movement, let the in-fighting begin! It will be interesting to watch.

[bo123]

WOW what egos! You would think it fulfilling enough to help so many people with knowledge. But it never is - desire for fame and ego and the need to be right, always sneek in. Who cares I guess? I am happily just a common guy. He said, she said, it's all kind of interesting though. At least Chopra can refer to the Shankaracharya of Jyotir Math to releive his insecurities about his decisions. I may sound sarcastic in this comment but this article makes me feel that way. The article and many of the comments seem petty, not really sure how to explain. Does anyone else feel that way?

[Rockyman]

Thanks for sharing that important period of your life with us!

[Oriana]

I appreciate this article, however it confuses me. I'm sure the Maharish was a sage with much wisdom. However, would someone take a moment to explain to me how someone supposedly so enlightened could act in such a very human and jealous way? Is this an accepted way of being in what Dr. Chopra labels a state of "unity consciousness"??

[Cautious]

Even the Dalai Lama admits that he gets crabby. He got really pissed when he found out about Tienamen Square. It happens. They're human. It's definitely an accepted way of being, because there really is no other way to "be" except to be what one really is.

[Promise]

I forgot to mention that the most distressing thing about TM was the skyrocketting cost. When I was intiated I paid about $35. The last I heard, about ten years, ago, it had increased to $3,000. Since it was firmly believed that TM was beneficial to the surrounding community, that it lowered crime rates measurably,...why was this decision made which put it out of reach of the average person, and quickly dried up the movement?

[Promise]

Thank you, Dr. Chopra for your article, and to others who have shared their experiences with Maharishi and the TM movement.

I was one of the early ones who started TM when I saw the LIFE magazine cover of the Beatles and Maharishi. I was so struck by this phenomenon that I flew to NYC to find the TM people. At the same time, as a Christian, I prayed to know if this "foreign" concept would be God's will for me. I got the very clear message that the practice of TM would be beneficial but that I should not join the movement.

This advice has proven over the years to be very good. I've profitted from my daily practice of meditation even as I pursued other spiritual paths. Over the years I've met people who were more involved in the movement, TM teachers and people at MIU, who left for various reasons of disenchantment. I read in Mia Farrow's autobiography, that Maharishi groped her in a private audience, which prompted the quick departure of the Beatles and friends.

To me, this man was a messenger, who brought a great gift from Guru Dev. I'm grateful for it and yet, I've never been tempted to invest him with any supernatural qualities. I say Rest in Peace, Maharishi.

[onlyThis]

The finger pointing at the moon is not the moon. Gurus, teachings, concepts of, and words about, Truth are not the Truth. "Enlightenment" is What Is when everything has fallen away. Including yourself, since after all, "you" are just a concept too.

[starboymikey]

I started TM in early '67, when he and his "movement" were clean and simple and true
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Nini, my own story is very similar to yours. I started in '67 in Berkeley and became pretty deeply involved in the movement after moving back to NY.

I was never in Rishikesh, but did spend 3 months with Maharish at a teacher training course in Majorca in 1969.

There were always things about the movement that troubled me, but it took a while for me to be able to leave. Like you, though, I have many fond memories, and though I do a different practice now, TM helped get off drugs and set me on the spiritual path I'd always been drawn to.

Dr. Chopra, thank you for your articles about Maharishi. They are really helping me put my time in the TM movement into better perspective.

-Michael

[Mariel]

TM was very important to my husband and me for seven years, but we learned WAY too much about the fragile people involved in the movement. I became very sick because I had a genetic ailment which was exacerbated by the advanced techniques called Siddhis. I nearly died but was helped by a lot of my own research into kundalini yoga, and by Swami Satchidananda, who understood how to recover from a yoga crisis. I decided to leave eastern practices and return to Christianity. I now believe that there is no "universal consciousness" which may be achieved through yoga practices.

I believe there ARE energy centers in the body, put there by God, but I prefer a non-mystical approach to balancing them. My husband and I became Jin Shin Jyutsu practitioners, using techniques related to acupuncture--in other words, to body balance, not to mystical union with forces in the universe.

We do Jin Shin only on ourselves now, being old and close to death.

I have never enjoyed Deepak Chophra's lectures or books, but this article I believe and applaud him for writing. This is honest work, one might almost say "enlightened".