Once, when I was just out of college and living with three friends in Washington, D.C., I told one of my friend's mothers that my roommates and I were going to throw a party.
"Oh?" she asked. "What will you serve?"
I paused, unsure how to answer.
"Um... beer?" I said, finally.
What a difference 25 years makes.
While I still love beer, I do believe that one of the hallmarks of adulthood is leaving the phase where beer and (if you're lucky) chips will do and stepping things up a notch to more grown-up fare.
Which isn't to say it's easy. Although I resolved earlier this year to have people over to our house more often (and made good on that promise), it's taken me a while to figure out how to entertain without finding it stressful. Because even though I'm fairly far out there on the extrovert spectrum, it does make me anxious to have to organize a meal for anyone other than my family.
Lately, however, I've noticed that things have gotten easier in that department. Here's what I've learned:
1. Less is more. As with so many things in life, less proves to be more. Once upon a time -- partly for efficiency reasons ("I'm cooking anyway") and partly because I've always subscribed to the "the more, the merrier" school of thought -- I would routinely have dinner parties of eight or more. Among other things, it just seemed more sociable. These days, in contrast, six is my maximum. And increasingly, having just one couple over is becoming the norm in our household. Not only is it a lot less work, but when you keep a dinner party small, you can actually talk to your guests and... egads!... listen to what they have to say. Try it. It turns out that having fewer people over to dinner is actually more fun.
2. Clear the decks. For a long time, I thought that the reason I found entertaining stressful was because I hated to cook. Turns out, I don't hate to cook. I even, on occasion, find it therapeutic. What I found stressful was not having enough counter space to prepare the dishes. So while I was getting ready for the dinner party, I'd constantly feel like the party itself was closing in on me. It helps to have a large kitchen if you want to feel less hemmed in. But let's face it, I live in London so that's not happening. But even if you don't have a large kitchen, if you can somehow manage to clear the counters of clutter before you start cooking -- so that your cookbook isn't balanced precariously on top of your mixing bowl -- you'll find that the whole thing is much more enjoyable, if not artful!
3. Get a good cookbook. I've always admired my friends who could just stare at a bunch of random ingredients and whip up something delicious. But that's just not me. Nor will it ever be. I have learned, however, the value of a good cookbook over time. Having a few recipes which you know are a) doable and b) tasty takes a ton of stress out of meal preparation. A few years back, a friend of mine gave me a cookbook called How To Cook For Food Allergies, because of my son's multiple food allergies. I cracked this book open one day and realized that it was a gold mine -- not so much for him (he really doesn't care what he eats), but for me. It's chock full of absolutely fantastic, healthy recipes and I've been using it as my staple ever since.
4. Practice meals in advance. This ought to be a no-brainer, but I've been burnt before on many an occasion so I thought I'd share it with you. Unless you're super-confident in the kitchen (and I think I can safely say that I'm not), you do not want your dinner party to be the first time that you try out a new dish. Rather, once you identify a meal that sounds promising, try it out on your family and/or spouse first and see how it fares. Sometimes things that sound great are real duds. Trust me.
5. Don't make dessert. I love dessert. In fact, it's my favorite part of the meal. But when you're pressed, it's hard to find time to prepare appetizers, entrées and desserts for 4-6 people. So even though I don't mind baking, I usually buy my desserts in advance so that I don't have that extra task hanging over me before a dinner party. Takes the pressure off.
How about you? What are your secrets for making entertaining less stressful and more fun?
Follow Delia Lloyd on Twitter: www.twitter.com/realdelia
1. Look good first. Rather than find yourself in terror your guests will show up when you're looking like hell, fix yourself up before you fix the dinner. If they show up too soon, at least be sure you look smashing.
2. Clean your place second. You can always serve drinks and have them join you while you cook, but they don't want to help you vacuum. A messy house feels bad even if the cooking smells good, but a clean house and a dinner you're just starting is just fine.
3. Have something on hand for them to nibble on while you cook and it doesn't matter when dinner's ready.
4. Keep some nice quality ice cream in the freezer at all times and you don't have to think about dessert.
Three other elements that can help to create a fabulous dinner party are music, ambiance & a special cocktail or mock-tail. (1)Music is an essential ingredient that can set the mood & tone for your event. Choosing the right music can really make or break a gathering. (2)Taking a few extra minutes to "clear the decks" can help you enjoy the preparation and it will also help your guests to feel more comfortable. I might take it one step further and add something that will enhance the setting. This extra touch, whether it is candles & flowers or outdoor torches & special napkins, will be noticed by your guests which will be reflected in the overall mood. (3)Creating a special cocktail or mock-tail for your dinner party creates a festive atmosphere filled with fun & whimsy. It is the special little touches that make an gathering fun, fabulous & memorable!
Cheers!
Christa O'Leary
Home in Harmony Lifestyle
Designing Inspired Living
www.HomeinHarmonyDesigns.com
www.facebook.com/HomeinHarmony
Twitter: HarmonyDesigner
Also, don't feel you have to have everything ready by the time your guests arrive. Took me a long time to learn this one! I like informal dinner parties, so it's fun to have friends gather in the kitchen and dining room to chat, sample the wine, snack on the appetizer while I finish up the main dish. Sometimes they even pitch in, which makes things even more fun!