How is it going to happen? Where will I find this? Why can't I have that? When will they be here? The key to knowing the answers to all of these questions and more is... just stop asking! It is as simple as that. Stop focusing on the hows and the whens, and instead focus on the feeling you will have when the it, that, this, or they manifests in your life.
Ask yourself: Why do I want that? Whether you are seeking a relationship, a new job, weight loss, or a new car, you want these things because of how they will make you feel when you have them. If you assign too many stipulations onto how this, that, or they will arrive, you are misdirecting the energy and sometimes even delaying the arrival of what you seek. Sometimes things unfold in ways we could never imagine or plan, and if we are too focused on looking for something to happen a certain way, then we might miss it when it shows up, or it may never show up at all.
There is no how, why, where or when that matters. The outcome we are searching for is the result of the journey, and it is in the enjoyment of the journey that we find the meaning of the outcome. When there is too much emphasis on how you have decided something should happen, you may never get there. Think of traveling to a destination. You are driving in your car on your way to where you want to go, and you have in your hand a map that you have drawn to get there. In the passenger seat sits your internal guidance system, all buckled up ready for the ride. As you drive along, your internal guidance system makes subtle suggestions to you while you are driving, pointing out new directions, or maybe even suggesting a better place to go; however, you cannot hear these suggestions. You are only focused on the map you made before you left, and you are not listening what your internal guidance system has to say. Now, you still may get where you planned to go, but what if there was a better, faster way? What if you never arrive there at all, because the directions you mapped out were incorrect? What if, when you get there, the destination was not what you thought it was going to be?
Peel away the layers. By peeling the layers, you will figure out WHY you want something and get to the heart of the feeling you are trying to achieve. For example, if you want a new relationship in your life, ask yourself why. The most obvious reasons will be the first to come to mind, but if you take the time to repeatedly look deeper, you will find that each answer has another layer, and you will eventually get to the heart of what you are truly seeking. For example, what starts off as wanting someone to spend time with may really mean you want to feel worthy, validated, or something else. Everyone's layers may be different, but there is always a feeling at the heart of the matter for us all.
Focus on the feeling. Once you feel like you have gotten closer to understanding the feeling you want to achieve, you might need to peel away even further to reveal the deepest level, as sometimes there are many layers. I want a new job. Why? Because I want more money. What will the money do for you? I will be able to pay my bills. What will paying the bills that do for you? I won't be so stressed out. Why will removing stress be good for you? Because I will be able to relax and have more time to do things I enjoy. So, what you are really seeking is relief? That's exactly what I am seeking! When you keep peeling, you will discover the feeling you are searching for, and then you can get started on your true journey.
Please do not misunderstand. It is a good thing to think of ways to help yourself achieve what you want or need; if you just sit back and stare at the wall waiting for what you want to arrive to fall in your lap, you may be disappointed. We need to take the necessary steps to achieve what we want out of life, but it is important not to focus too rigidly on how we expect that outcome to manifest. If we focus on the feeling we want and take inspired action to get what we want out of life, the universe will respond accordingly. Focus on the feeling, and remember to enjoy the journey!
For more by Denise Scarbro, click here.
For more on emotional wellness, click here.
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