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Denise Vivaldo

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My Tattoo: Now That I'm 60, Do I Regret It?

Posted: 12/02/10 06:28 PM ET

I am 60 years old -- not a 40-is-the-new-60 type but a real, un-airbrushed 60.

I start with that for two reasons: one, because I never thought I would get this old, and two, because I must prove that I have enough life experience to write about tattoos.

When I was a kid, I had an uncle who was covered with tattoos. His were the first tattoos I can remember. Uncle Buddy's best tattoo was the hula girl on his shoulder that he could make "dance." I'd been a hula girl in my Bluebird summer program, but I sure didn't dance like that. The naughty part was Miss Hula had misplaced her coconut shells. Yeah, she was topless in 1959. I couldn't take my eyes off of her.

When I would ask my mother why Uncle Buddy had those magical tattoos, she always replied, "If there was trouble to find, my brother found it." Uncle Buddy had given a teacher a hot foot (if you have to ask what that is, stop reading now), wasn't much of a student and loved boats. It was a natural fit that he joined the Navy before he finished high school. The tattoos came from his ports of call.

Years later, he'd tell me that his tattoos reminded him of that exciting time during the war. My father had gone to war also but had enlisted in the Air Force. When I asked my mother why didn't daddy have any tattoos, she'd give me one of those I'm-only-saying-this-once stares and say, "Because your father was an officer."

When I was 27, I was going through a war of my own. I was getting divorced from my
high school sweetheart and decided that part of my new found freedom was doing exactly as I pleased. Janis Joplin had a tattoo, and so would I. There was only one tattoo parlor in the small town I lived in; however, the tattoo artist was a man named Lyle Tuttle, who had been famous in San Francisco for years. I imagined he must have given both my uncle and Janice their tattoos.

When I arrived for my appointment, Lyle's exact words were, "Don't get many customers like you."

"Well what kind of people do you usually get?" I asked.

"Sailors, rock stars, degenerates..."

Oh my, this was better than I hoped for. Maybe it was my Gucci bag or my Calvins that set me apart? Who cares? I got my tattoo.

It only hurts a little when the needle pricks the skin, and it leaves only traces of blood droplets. There is outlining and then filling in the colors. It took about two hours. Where is my tattoo? Sexy enough for a lover to enjoy, but nowhere the PTA could see. I wasn't a member of the PTA, but at 27 I didn't know what was around the corner, so I planned ahead. I could end up in the suburbs again. My first day of my tattooedness, I was told to keep the bandage on and to not shower. I couldn't wait to see it.

I stopped by my parents' house on the way home. My mother had bought me some new clothes. I think she figured that if I was going to be divorced, she'd step right back in and dress me again, and trust me, she was also plotting my next wedding.

Privacy in an Italian family is never a high priority on the list. It most likely is never on the list to begin with, so as I am trying on my new wardrobe, my mother bursts through the bathroom door. She sees the bandage and screams, "You've been stabbed, that lazy bastard husband stabbed you!" Oh dear.

"Mama, Randy didn't stab me. I got a tattoo," I said.

"Let me see it!" There was an audible gasp. I was glad I'd gone with a tasteful rose, and not my first choice, a bloody heart with a knife through it, reading, "Expect no mercy," a warning for the next soldier...

"Do me a favor, Denise," she sighed calmly as she gingerly replaced the bandage. "Don't ever show or tell your father."

"Ok, Mama, I promise... But really, Mama, don't you think it's pretty?"

"I think I'd rather you'd been stabbed."

It seems to me like it's been decades since that day. And it has. There's a tattoo parlor
on every corner in Los Angeles. Movie stars have tattoos of their kids instead of writing their children's birth dates in the family Bible. Tattoos are art, imagination, whimsy and freedom.

To me they are very personal. To each his own. I work with cookbook writers who are grandmothers and have tattoos. In my circle of friends, I know everyone from rappers to Lutherans with tattoos. For crying out loud, who's to know, maybe the Pope has a tattoo. If he does, I hope it's the thorny crown; I love that kind of visual...

Over the weekend, a friend of mine was pulled off a Delta flight because he has the word "bomb" tattooed on his knuckle. It comes from a childhood nickname. Granted, my friend is heavily tattooed, big and a tiny bit scary if you don't know him, but he's a teddy bear. He also carries a $1,200 Louis Vuitton bag. Do terrorists really spend $1,200 bucks on a bag? The word "bomb" made another passenger nervous. My friend has 140,000 flight miles with Delta and yet, the decision was made to remove him from that flight. To me, that's a customer service dilemma, not a security issue.

My question is, are we handling our freedom with the hard-won dignity we've fought for, or are we as bad as the maniacs we are afraid of? I think my Uncle Buddy would have some choice words on this.

Denise Vivaldo is the author of "Perfect Table Settings," (Robert Rose Publishing, 2010). When not pondering tattoos, Ms. Vivaldo likes to practice her napkin folds.

 

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02:07 PM on 12/06/2010
I'm only 36 and have several tattoos (yes, I'm a woman). I started at age 18, and have yet to regret a single one. Each one meant something very important to me at the time, and they now remind me of who I was and how far I've come. I joke that you can see the timeline of my life on my skin. I'm sure I'll still be getting inked when I'm 60 and beyond!
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french queen13
my beloved is mine and I am his
09:18 PM on 12/05/2010
I'm 47 and have had two tattoos for the last five years. One is a signature, high up on my breast; the other is a black line drawing on my upper arm. I love the first but mildly regret getting the second - not because of what it is or where it is, but because the line work isn't quite as fine as it needed to be for the drawing it reproduces. Which is odd, because they're by the same tattooist, and the work he did on the first was beautiful! However that's more something I'm aware of than anyone else (it was my own drawing being copied) and everyone who's seen the drawing has admired it, at least publicly, lol.
08:17 PM on 12/05/2010
53 and I've got two and they are placed where only my husband can see them.

I've had them about 20 years and I still love 'em. No regrets.

I even consider getting a 3rd now and then. :)
03:16 PM on 12/05/2010
I plan to get my first tattoo AT 60!
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greymom
09:28 PM on 12/04/2010
That was funny. I too am sixty, but I know I will never get one. My tastes change too much. The china pattern I chose as a young bride is going on Ebay
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lisaquinn
Emmy Award winning TV host
02:55 PM on 12/04/2010
Denise, you are hilarious. When are you going to write a humor book to go along with all of your wonderful food books?? Next time I see you, I'll show you my tattoos--I have a BUNCH!!

xo
Lisa Quinn
09:35 AM on 12/04/2010
I think the mainstream tattoo craze of the last 20 years is winding down. I see less and less younger kids sporting them on college campuses . When you watch a college athletic event you see fewer athletes with full sleeves of tattoos than you did say 10-15 years ago. Maybe people are getting them on places that you normally do not see, but my gut is they are falling out of fashion with mainstream culture. Although, I am sure they are here to stay with certain sub cultures just like they have always been
thebigbike
ran away to be a cowboy
06:07 PM on 12/03/2010
I am OVER 60, with only 3 tatts one of them pretty elaborate and still beautiful.. regrets? NONE though I am still planning at least two or three more. You don't want to look at my wrinkly gray old skin? dont. that easy, I like' em
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HarlowGal1960
activists are made, not born
04:10 PM on 12/03/2010
katherine got a tattoo the summer she turned 18. one night on a trip as we snuggled into bed together, i asked her "so, did you get a tattoo yet?" "no!" she replied. "really?" i asked. "i mean, you're 19 now, you can do what you want." "don't tell dad," she said, "but yes." she spent the rest of the trip trying to convince me to get a tattoo but i told her no, if i got one, i'd be just like everyone else. for that trip, we called her "tat" instead of "kat."
now that i am approaching 50, however, i may just join you all . . .
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UnderTheHedgeWeGo
Show me some evidence.
02:15 PM on 12/03/2010
How does one chose a tat. A skin doodle that lasts a lifetime. Every time I see Tweety-bird on a woman's ankle I think "What possible significance can that have? Will that carry great personal meaning with it into old age?"
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swabby01
08:11 AM on 12/06/2010
often those tattoos have to do with people's children or with their own childhood.
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Tresco
Sistagirl Laughin' Thingy Award Winner!
02:06 PM on 12/03/2010
So..you get a tattoo and then you get old. How does the tat look then? From what I've seen it looks pretty much like the rest of you? So? Do you regret it? Well could be you do, but you are going to have lots of regrets. Regrets are one of the prices you pay when you survive. In Catch 22, Yosarian says "I don't think I could live without regrets". You make your choices and live with the results. If you want a tattoo that's your choice. If you want to get old that's another choice. I decided to not to get the tatoo and I have (obvioulsy) chosen to get older. Life is good. Tattoos are not for me but I do like to see nice ones on others. Bad tattoos (bad meaning ones I don't like) are a guilty pleasure of mine. I hate on them and judge people harshly for having them. But I do have the wisdom to know that sometimes good people have bad tattoos.
thebigbike
ran away to be a cowboy
06:08 PM on 12/03/2010
You sound like a mighty sane person ! I bet I'd like you a lot in person even if you don't have any ink...
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Tresco
Sistagirl Laughin' Thingy Award Winner!
08:57 AM on 12/04/2010
Thanks. While I am inkless I sure don't have anything against people with tats on GP. I admire some tattoos that are origionnal and well executed. Others, I'm indifferent to and some are just painful to look at.
ByAndForThePeople
and corporations aren't people!
08:08 PM on 12/02/2010
I couldn't agree more. I'm 64, have three tattoos, including a heart just like the one Janis (not "Janice") Joplin had right over her heart. I'm currently plotting my next one, a large wolf standing in front of lovely red sandstone rocks...covering much of my back. OK, so I'm male, but that's not exactly the point, is it?