Dennis Danziger
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Dennis Danziger teaches English in the Los Angeles Unified School District. He is a former sit-com writer, author of a non-fiction book, Daddy, The Diary of an Expectant Father and the novel, A Short History of a Tall Jew.

Blog Entries by Dennis Danziger

Home School Fever

41 Comments | Posted April 24, 2012 | 4:45 PM

The other day after listening to a friend extolling the virtues of her home-schooled son and his exquisite sensitivity (he found a tree branch in the backyard, named it Tree Willy, and asked if it could move inside and be part of their family), I got to thinking about how...

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Baad, Baad Teecherz

22 Comments | Posted January 23, 2012 | 3:22 PM

Nicholas Kristof, in his recent New York Times op-ed column, "The Value of Teachers," references a recent Harvard University-Columbia University study that suggests that a fourth grader who lands in the hands of a good public school teacher will earn $25,000 more over her lifetime than a fourth...

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Real Men Don't Teach

59 Comments | Posted September 29, 2011 | 4:22 PM


Real men don't teach.

At least not real American men. Real American men make money. Lots of it. They make deals and have their secretaries arrange things for them. Real men discuss cars and sports and their second homes; take exotic vacations to places they do not...

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When The Games Begin

31 Comments | Posted July 27, 2011 | 7:52 PM

Every night for the past twenty-some odd months I've said the same prayer before collapsing into bed. "Blessed art Thou, Lord our God, Creator of it all, please watch over my beautiful but ill-mannered children. And once Lord, just once, before Zack and Lily turn 18, please let me win...

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Teachers' New Day Jobs

30 Comments | Posted July 12, 2011 | 11:04 AM

On my third day of summer vacation, I received an email from United Teachers of Los Angeles (UTLA), my union.

My initial thought was, "Leave me alone. I don't want to hear about more furlough days."

But it was dark outside and the park where I take...

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I Blame Myself

4 Comments | Posted April 6, 2011 | 7:57 PM

I blame myself.

And I almost never do that.

I blame myself for not picking up the clues. Or rather, for ignoring them.

I mean, what paralegal wears a see-through dress to work?

That was a sign I ignored.

So was the time she visited...

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Almost an Independent

31 Comments | Posted December 5, 2010 | 4:45 PM

I remember the moment I decided to vote for then Senator Barack Obama for president. He was loosening up behind the three-point line in a gym packed with soldiers. I remember thinking, "Under the best of circumstances that's a forty percent make." With pressure, and I assumed that shooting...

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Dear Davis Guggenheim, Sec. Arne Duncan, et. al

7 Comments | Posted October 27, 2010 | 12:57 AM

Dear Davis Guggenheim, Secretary of Education Arne Duncan, President Obama and others Who Wish to Simplify the Massive Problems of Education by Blaming Teachers:

Last night was Back to School Night at the Los Angeles public school where I attempt to teach English. BSN is an annual event when teachers...

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Rigoberto Ruelas and The Valued-Added Double Double with Cheese

7 Comments | Posted October 8, 2010 | 3:09 PM

I was passing the In-N-Out Burger on Washington on my way back to Venice High School where I teach when I noticed a handful of students -- seniors permitted to leave campus at lunch; they were scarfing down burgers and sharing fries and shakes on the patio. One called out,...

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A Letter to Rookie Teachers

17 Comments | Posted August 23, 2010 | 7:21 PM

In light of the LA Times exposure of those LAUSD teachers they have deemed incompetent and eligible only to be booted from the classroom, I have been reflecting. I do understand the Times' deeply held belief that parents have a right to know the quality of the people who are...

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Mayor Villaraigosa and the War on Those Old, Inept, Do-Nothing Public School Teachers

0 Comments | Posted June 18, 2010 | 3:41 PM


On June 15, 2010, on this very site, Mayor Villaraigosa called upon the Board of Education, the ACLU, Public Counsel, the State Board of Education and UTLA to find a way to end the teacher union's seniority system. His blog, "Good Teachers Make All the Difference" sounded the...

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It Takes a Shtetl

11 Comments | Posted June 9, 2010 | 12:08 AM

As American Airline Flight 21 lifted off from LAX headed toward New York City, my mind filled with numbers: a 5 hour and 25 minute flight, covering 2461 miles to deliver a 2-minute speech that could determine the fate of my novel.

I had practiced on my daily walk...

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A Short History of a Tall Jew: A Tale of Self-Publishing

13 Comments | Posted February 18, 2010 | 12:57 AM

I am the world's worst Jewish businessman.

I don't understand why I'm so bad with money. It can't be genetic. My brother is a professor of economics. My cousin Leilah, a college dropout, created a company that trades on the NY Stock Exchange. And I am very good at...

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Shut Up and Strike

12 Comments | Posted February 9, 2010 | 9:14 AM

Dear United Teacher of Los Angeles Colleagues:

I will not be joining you this afternoon after work at some Mid-Cities elementary school march/rally to protest whatever it is we are protesting this week. Lay-offs, the privatization of LAUSD schools, the poor quality of bagels in our cafeterias. Frankly, I can't...

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Marrying George Clooney: A Love Story

3 Comments | Posted February 3, 2010 | 4:05 PM

We live a structured life, my wife and I. Friday matinees at Landmark Theater (we'll see anything. Even if it's filmed in black in white, in Finland); Saturday afternoon tennis at Rancho Park; Sunday morning Mar Vista Farmer's Market. Then, I'm off to Palisades HS to play basketball in the...

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Angelina Jolie Saves Public Education -- Almost

5 Comments | Posted January 29, 2010 | 1:57 PM

At Ralph's the elderly woman in front of me was buying a six-pack of Charmin, three tubs of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter and eight cans of Red Bull, and I was trying to interpret what those groceries said about her when In Touch Weekly caught my eye.

...
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Two Senior Tickets for Avatar

1 Comments | Posted December 28, 2009 | 10:24 AM

I am facing a teenage Latina ticket seller on the other side of the plexiglass window at the AMC Theater in the Marina Marketplace.

"Two tickets for the 7 o'clock showing of Avatar, please."

She studies me for half a moment, then says, "Senior?"

"Did she actually say 'Senior'? No....

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Two Creative Artist Agency Agents Play It Forward

2 Comments | Posted December 18, 2009 | 2:16 PM

They didn't have to be here. I'm sure they had better things to do. Certainly more profitable meetings on their agendas.

But they gave their morning to 100 students at Venice High School. A hundred students who most people don't give the time a day. Heck, most people don't notice...

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The End of Education

22 Comments | Posted December 9, 2009 | 1:37 AM

I stood in a crowd of four or five hundred red-shirted fellow teachers outside Los Angeles Unified School District headquarters near downtown LA late this afternoon. Inside the LAUSD Board was debating, and would later vote on a budget plan which called for a 12% teacher pay cut; plus...

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Every Day My Heart Gets Broken

8 Comments | Posted December 3, 2009 | 3:29 PM

Every day my heart gets broken.

The hurt starts before I step foot onto my campus. I live six blocks from my work site in a diverse, middle-class neighborhood called Mar Vista where two bedroom homes sell for $700,000 and the gentrified two-story jobs go for over a million.

...
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