Six Simple Rules on Why Not to Rebound and 3 Ways to Make the Best of It
Poll: Dating your ex-husband's BFF? Is it a do, or a don't?
Here's what's (allegedly) going on, in a nutshell: Singer Ashlee Simpson is getting divorced from bassist and lyricist Pete Wentz (Fall Out Boy). Their mutual friend, Craig Owens, who's Wentz's BFF and colleague (Owens' band, D.R.U.G.S. is signed to Wentz's music label, Decaydance). The ink was barely dry on the divorce Petition before Ashlee and Craig were out and about, looking very couple-like. Despite protests of, "We're just friends" that's not what it looks like in the photos. Not even remotely.
What happened to band before solo project?
Rebound Relationships. I get it. Your marriage is over. You're bummed. You're mad. You want to know you've still got "it." And how convenient---dating your husband's best friend and colleague will not only scratch the itch, it'll probably make him wild. A win/win, right?
Assuming that my source is correct, and that Ashlee and Craig are an item, it's a really straightforward example of the shortsighted thinking (or maybe not thinking) of rebounding before the ink is dry on your divorce petition.
Let's face it, jumping back into the dating pool too quickly is a trap for the unwary.
While the giddy hormone surge you get when you first flirt with that attractive person you've never seen naked before lets you know you''re still desirable and scintillating, and it's a really enticing escape from the weight of the failed relationship, getting involved too fast with new partners only leads to trouble.
Here's 6 Simple Reasons Why:
- Your discretion and decision making skills are at their all time low. They're so low, in fact, you probably don't even realize how low they are. The possibility for stupid decisions in the new few months is at an all time high.
So while I understand why celebrities and other newly separated people go out on the town, sowing their wild oats either to celebrate their new found smorgasbord of potential partners or to search for evidence that they're still desirable, it's still not a good idea. It's super fun to kiss someone new, but like so many decisions that seem like a good idea at the time, later on, not so much.
And if you've got kids, explaining the dating game to them is next to impossible, IMHO. For example, developmentally, toddlers are just figuring out the difference between you and me and others, friends vs. strangers, and learning to navigate the world. Isn't that enough? Do you really need to add meeting mom's new boyfriend after dad just moved out? Or vice versa?
If you Must Date Right After Filing for Divorce, I've Got 3 Simple Rules:
Date when your child is with the other parent. Don't talk about it with your child and do your flirting and texting when your child isn't around. And for celebrities this is either difficult or impossible. Why not just chill for awhile? Even if you're being discreet, chances are good that nobody else is being discreet. Despite your best intentions, your new flame could easily be the topic of conversation for the moms at preschool. A good divorce is a boring divorce. And your goal is a boring divorce.
HuffPost Lifestyle is a daily newsletter that will make you happier and healthier — one email at a time. Learn more