My Landmark Experience

My Landmark experience begins the day a trusted friend recounts his weekend Landmark getaway. Quietly, I think to myself, "Poor kid. He has up and joined a cult."

I have heard the rumors - the strict bathroom policy, the no eating/ no drinking rule, the endless hours of class, the forced enrollment of your peers and family. Landmark Education has been kicked out of France. It also has the vague ring of Scientology, and all that California self-help mind control a la Tom Cruise in Magnolia or the pick-up artist from The Game. But my curiosity was piqued so I invited myself along to his evening class and joined on the spot. (Purely journalistic, of course.)

Day One: I Am A Jerk

On one sunny summer weekend in New York, I resign myself to a freezing basement on 33rd street and 8th avenue, surrounded by a hundred motley strangers. (Where do these people come from?) The Landmark coach steps on stage, a brassy French woman. Immediately I take to her; I can see there will be no forced hugging under her roof. So what exactly are we supposed to do the next forty-five odd hours of class?

The gist of it: participants stand before a microphone and share their stories with the room. A typical story: My rotten father left when I was eight, he ruined our lives and now I cannot trust men. I am middle-aged and single. (Good God, who are these people?) After a bit of fact-checking, our coach tears apart their logic in a trenchant French accent. "He left because your mother was unfaithful. Since you are an ungrateful brat, you never returned his calls. Too bad you are single, it is your fault."

Honing my college psych skills, I become an excellent sideline observer and help analyze these basket cases (OCD, Bipolar, totally schizophrenic...) But by the end of the day, I have heard enough stories to begin sensing uncomfortable similarities. Then a lady with crazy hair (she must have 15 cats) begins her sad tale and - damn - it hits me, I have used the same line before! Unnerved, I peer around the room and notice a communal look of worry on everyone's faces.

I start feeling a warped sense of solidarity as person after person goes up to the microphone's chopping block. "Your entire lives are spend trying to look good or avoid looking bad." The Frenchie raises an eyebrow, "And that little voice in your head? The one always criticizing and analyzing?" (What little voice?) "Yes, that one... That little goading voice always judging everyone and everything. You are a jerk. You have run 'rackets' on all your loved ones. (A 'racket' is a Landmark term signifying the stream of excuses we use to condone our stupid actions.) You are inauthentic. But even worse, you are inauthentic about being inauthentic."

We are left with a sense of desperation. Clearly, we are bigger jerks than we surmised. So now our assignment is to go tell it to the mountain. I return home, call my mother and apologize for being such a terrible teenager. She is surprised, thinks my apology is sweet, but didn't we get over that a long time ago?

Day Two: I Am Still A Jerk

So I arrive with a warm fuzzy feeling about my midnight call to Mom. (Aren't I a good person?) Actually, no. Truth is: I am still a jerk. This is further enforced after the break, as the group is reprimanded for straggling in late. We all have fractured integrity, breaking promises left and right, then cloaking them in reasons and excuses. Finally, we are sent home with an annoying assignment: I am supposed to invite three people to the Tuesday night open session. I ask my brother whose immediate response is, "Are you recruiting?" (Well, maybe.) I go to bed with a deep sense of resignation.

Day Three: I Am An Even Bigger Jerk

Sunday morning, I arrive irritated that I have spent my weekend in a basement, irritated that I have not yet achieved the mythic Landmark 'breakthrough.' Then a spunky blond heads to the mic and recounts her previous evening. She called three practical strangers to tell them about Landmark. Why? First, because she thought they may benefit. Secondly, because, well, why not? Her speech triggers something: I have been playing the Landmark game too safely.

On break, I practically sprint to the street, cell phone in hand. I can see the elephants in the rooms of my relationships, the things left unsaid, the hurts and betrayals never addressed. I get it. My breakthrough! I begin calling... and calling... flooding my acquaintances, friends, ex-boyfriends with apologies. I take full responsibility of the mediocre to bad things I have done in my life. Most importantly, I try not to judge them. And even though I do not ask for it, I get it back: forgiveness, gratitude, even admiration. A weight lifts off my shoulders.

The final drive of the weekend is heavily steeped in Zen. All we have is the now. We are only responsible for ourselves. Life is meaningless. I notice my little voice has quieted significantly, even if it has taken on a piquant French timbre (You are still a big jerk). For all the negative criticisms of Landmark, I admit I had an overwhelmingly positive experience.

An acquaintance complains, "If they are really offering a life-changing experience, why isn't it free?" I think quietly of the collection plate at church, reserve my judgment in true Landmark fashion, and gently add, "Perhaps you can come on Tuesday night?"

Comments

[Artoo45]

Though I have no love for LEC, I too got a lot from my Forum and my Advanced Course. Landmark's Achilles' heel is, in my opinion, their unwillingness (or inability) to separate "the distinction enrollment" from "the distinction turning you into an irritating salesdroid". This perversion of empowerment poisoned any interactions I had with staff and volunteers and led to my having to tell them rather forcefully to leave me alone and never, ever call me again. I now fully expect some earnest LEC fan to reply to this post with the classic, "Why are you making Landmark wrong?" (always uttered with a deeply pained expression). And that will perfectly illustrate my point.

[Macaniff]

This is a good fair article about the Landmark Forum. It takes guts to look at your life and take responsibility for all the places where you have been a jerk. All of us have been jerks and made messes in at least some of our relationships. Most people wait and in many cases never clean them up. The Landmark Forum is about finding the guts to go and do that, and when people do they there is real freedom.

There are things that can be irritating about the organization, but what organizations is perfect. I am a fan of Whole Foods and There is a big difference between being clumsy and being evil. It reflects what it is really about instead of all of the BS that gets re-circulated over and over again. People are fans of the Landmark Forum because it makes a difference and it is about making a difference for others. I commend Diana Odasso for her courage.

[jasonmannington]

I think my experience of Landmark Education and the Landmark Forum was somewhat similar to the author's. I spent the first two days being cynical and resigned, and then I suddenly saw something about my life--I'd been obsessing about my own little problems for so long that I had stopped thinking about anything but myself, and of doing things that actually contributed to others. It was taking the Landmark Forum that got me involved in the Dean campaign back in 03/04 and the Obama campaign this past year--I really got that if I don't do something, I have no right to complain about how the world is going.

[Superchuy]

Unfortunately my experience was not good. I felt manipulated and brainwashed. There was tremendous peer pressure to fit in and "get it". For those of you that don't know this, The Landmark Forum is "est"-lite, developed by Werner H. Erhard (http://www.answers.com/topic/werner-erhard) and made palatable for today's high-tech professional on the go!

[steveandellen]

I originally did the est Training in 1975, shortly after getting my Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology at Columbia University. I did the (kinder, gentler, and shorter) Landmark Forum in 1992, after Werner Erhard had sold the company to the staff and trainers, making it an employee-owned company. Perhaps "superchuy" felt "manipulated and brainwashed," but the vast majority of people who attend do not. The Forum promotes taking responsibility and positive action for having the life we want, rather than do what many do - complain about how it doesn't. When I did, and continue to do that, I often see how I am "jerked" by past experiences, beliefs I have acquired, and my own points of view to say and do things that do not produce the results I want (eg, happiness, success, loving relationships, good health, etc.). I agree with "macaniff" in applauding Ms. Odasso's courage, but at the same time I think she gives a somewhat misleading picture of The Forum. The 3 days involve considerable introspection about the ideas presented by the Forum leader, and sharing is strictly up to the participant. For me, the "gist" was the incredible possibilities we can create as human beings, not what "jerks" we are. As a result of my own and many of my friends' overwhelmingly positive experiences, I enthusiastically tell others (including my therapy clients) about The Forum - because I want them to have the value I know is available!!